Friday Flotsam


Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

How do you keep your eyebrows from looking like you didn’t just escape prison?

You guys, mine are such a trainwreck. I’ve always had a good shape to my eyebrows, but they’ve never been easy to work with as far as staying in place. You heard that right, STAYING IN PLACE. See, mine aren’t the classic caterpillar problems like a lot of people complain about. Mine are more like angry pine needles in search of prey. They’re thin, and stick straight out of my face like mini horse pube brooms. I use clear mascara to try to glue them down to my head, but that only works until I move or do anything human at all. Now, if I just look right directly at you, and make facial expressions that require zero emotions, I look normal. Almost good! But the second I  get happy, get surprised, get confused (<–most common), get mad, or get sad, my eyebrows explode in all different directions and people are basically liable to get hurt. I’m a walking biohazard.

Do you have this problem? Is there a certain paste I can apply to them? Certain clippers to trim them with? A cage? A torch?

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Today is our official “put-up-the-Christmas-tree-decorate-the-house-drink-all-the-wine-watch-all-the-Christmas-movies-and-fall-into-the-fireplace” day! I’m pretty pumped. And I can’t stand the word pumped.

I DO have one slight worry though. Yesterday I popped an ISH load of popcorn so that we can string it and wrap it around the tree. But like, exactly how long do you think this is going to take me? I want to say us because Aaron’s like, “We’ll do it together! It will be fun. It won’t take long. Relax, and let’s make precious family memories to last us a lifetime.” (he didn’t say that last part) And I’m like, “Yeah RIGHT you’re going to sit around with me for 2947343524 hours stringing stale popcorn.” But he swears it. You KNOW I’mon’ snapchat that mess if he’s actually sitting around with a needle and a thread and a cardigan today.

But really, does it take hours and hours? Is there a trick to it? Just keep the wine flowing? Because that I can do.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Speaking of Christmas movies, I am looooving of all your suggestions. I hope you’ve been listening to my CHRISTMAS MIXTAPE because hello, a good handful of the songs are from your picks! (Charlie Brown, Love, Actually, Home Alone, White Christmas, Muppets!)

I can totally 13 thousand 156 billion kajillion 71 percent agree with the general consensus that Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation wins at all movies. We actually watched it the day after Thanksgiving this year with the fam, and my innards still hurt right this second from laughing so hard. And I’m just going to say it, Chevy Chase was HOT. Like, legit good looking! His eyes when the house finally lights up, my gaaah. Don’t you just want to pet him?

I probably just lost 87% of my followers right now.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Off the top of your head, what’s a total tubular classic ’80s appetizer? We’re going to a Christmas party next weekend and that’s my job. AND I’M WEARING SHOULDER PADS. I don’t know how I get so lucky in life.

Friday Flotsam / Bev Cooks

Weekend plans?! Basic holiday shniz ’round her. Decorating today, shopping this weekend, wrapping gifts, shaving my eyebrows off, blah blah.

BUT! I want to let you know something that’s going to be happening on my Instagram account starting at 10am CST this morning  – I’ll be hosting a Freshly Picked moccasin giveaway! (I imagine all of your heads exploding like in the SNL Oprah sketch from zillions of years ago.) So if you’ve got little tot moccasins on your holiday shopping list, be sure and pop over and enter to win! Because hi, moccasins. Only thing, it’s U.S. only, and the pair is soft soled. And you cannot have won a FP giveaway within the last 60 days. But you’re cool with that, right? Right.

One last thing – don’t forget to enter mah GAYT CHAYZE giveaway! (<–sorry about my existence)

Oooo, what about carpenter’s glue for my eyebrows?!

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26 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Brittany | Words Like Honeycomb December 4, 2015 at 7:15 am #
    Instagram 10am...ON IT. And I think we need a snapisode of those brows to reeeeallly know how to advise you ;) ;) ;)
  2. Melinda December 4, 2015 at 8:01 am #
    I use pomade and a toothbrush on mine. In other words, I'm a cavewoman.
  3. Teresa (T) December 4, 2015 at 8:16 am #
    Bev, you can use a little extra hold hairspray, spritz it on your finger tip and then your brow.....maybe??? Since you mentioned wine, are you still on the Rose's or have you moved to the reds for the season. I LOVE Menage a Trois brand in Midnight and Silk.......over the top delicious! :) :)
    • Bev Weidner December 4, 2015 at 11:33 am #
      You know, I'm actually starting to give rosés a break! During the winter I tend to drink more malbecs. But always, always a good sauv blanc! I'll definitely try your suggestion!
  4. Sharana @ Living The Sweet Life Blog December 4, 2015 at 8:21 am #
    Hahahah I literally LOL-ed when you compared your eyebrows to horse pubes ... also ewww ... but so funny!! our “put-up-the-Christmas-tree-decorate-the-house-drink-all-the-wine-watch-all-the-Christmas-movies-and-fall-into-the-fireplace” day is on sunday ... and I CAN"T FREAKING WAIT!! So excited!!
  5. Beverly December 4, 2015 at 8:28 am #
    I'm glad I'm not the only one with a crazy eyebrow situation. Tweeze on, Bev. Btw, I look forward to your Friday post every week. Have fun decorating! We're doing the same thing at my house today. Beverly
  6. Julie December 4, 2015 at 9:09 am #
    Bev you should make ham roll ups. Ham slice, cream cheese, green onion then slice into little rounds. You can get fancy and buy a Styrofoam wreath and wrap it with lettuce leaves and use toothpicks to stick the sliced roll ups to decorate the wreath. Boom!
  7. Ashton December 4, 2015 at 10:37 am #
    The ELF brow pallet from Target is life. It's about $3 for a brow gel and powder, and it comes in a few shades. The best/most affordable solution I have found to tame brows that don't look like caterpillars.
  8. Sarah K. December 4, 2015 at 10:40 am #
    I actually laughed out loud reading this post! Have a great weekend!
  9. grace December 4, 2015 at 10:40 am #
    potato puffs or potato skins and bread bowl dips (like spinach artichoke dip) mmmmmmmm
  10. Lynda M. December 4, 2015 at 11:03 am #
    Love your Friday posts! Can't help you with the eyebrow situation, but my 80's appetizer of choice was spinach balls and I still make them. They're easy and most everyone loves them. Here the recipe: Spinach Balls 2 - 10 oz. packages frozen chopped spinach 3 C Pepperidge Farm Herb Stuffing Mix 3/4 cup butter, melted 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese 1/2 tsp. thyme 1 med. finely chopped onion 3 eggs, well beaten 1 tsp. pepper 1 1/2 tsp. garlic salt Cook spinach according to package; drain and squeeze out all of the water. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Shape into balls. Bake at 325 degrees for 15-20 minutes on a lightly greased baking sheet. Makes 44 spinach balls.
  11. Megan@Cozy Eats December 4, 2015 at 11:03 am #
    Oh girl, you need this for those crazy brows: I have the same issue, and this works so well for me. :)
  12. Mo @LuckyRhino December 4, 2015 at 12:08 pm #
    Pioneer Woman's 80's Bacon Cracker appetizer or Knorr's spinach dip (ya' know, because spinach made it healthy!)
    • Joni December 4, 2015 at 3:16 pm #
      OMG yes to PW's Bacon Cracker appetizers! The ones with brown sugar are the best! And your house will smell incredible for hours, from the baking bacon. [baking bacon?]
  13. Nancy December 4, 2015 at 1:50 pm #
    I have eyebrows like an old man. I snip, tweeze, and then use Ultra brow gel to tame them flat.
  14. Julie December 4, 2015 at 3:05 pm #
    How about nacho chz dip? Brown 1 lb each of hamburger & sausage & just pour in 2 jars of nacho chz salsa (Tostitos) 'cuz ain't nobody got time for Velveeta... Then transfer to crockpot to keep warm.
  15. Stefanie @ Sarcastic Cooking December 4, 2015 at 3:21 pm #
    Anastasia brow kits are THE BEST! Totally worth the money.
  16. KissTheChef December 4, 2015 at 6:23 pm #
    Well, I know it's a day late and a dollar short, but I hope someone mentioned Holiday Inn, The Ref (hysterical), and Scrooged. My favorite movies. Also, sometimes I have to trim my long hairs in my brows (and the grey ones) so that they don't stick out while in profile. After that, just a good brow wax helps...
  17. Maralyn Woods December 5, 2015 at 1:37 am #
    Stringing popcorn goes very fast and is fun for everyone. We always put a fresh cranberry on the string every 10 or 12 pieces of popcorn. I liked the hair spray idea for eyebrows. I will try that. I'm wondering if I used a little mousse first and then hair spray over that if it would work.
  18. Maureen December 5, 2015 at 8:14 am #
    OMG Bev, I feel your pain on the eyebrows and I can't wait to steal your line about the mini horse pube brooms! That's exactly what mine look like!! I have always had great brows and in the last few years, they have been a sad, sad mess! I second Stephanie's suggestion for Anastasia's products. Their Brow Primer is great. I think Sephora also has a brow wax that does the job. In Snapchat news, your Christmas decorations look amazing! How long did it take you to string 4527194728462 pieces of popcorn? Cheers, Maureen
    • bev @ bevcooks December 9, 2015 at 7:17 am #
      You know, it really didn't take THAT that long. Couple of hours? AND I enjoyed it. I'm growing up!
  19. Becky K. December 6, 2015 at 7:41 am #
    Ok, for the brows sitch I brush mine straight up my forehead and trim them so the hairs are short. Then I use Benefit Brow Zings shaping kit to fill them in with powder. It looks much more natural than when I try to use a brow pencil. Now for the 80's app. I feel like my mom made a lot of cheese balls when I was a kid. She also did the whole throw a block of cream cheese on a plate and pour pepper jelly over the top thing for holidays. She was very innovative, that woman.
  20. Melissa December 8, 2015 at 10:03 am #
    Any chance of their being a strictly Canadian giveaway? (PEI residents only if Im going to be a pain...hehehe)
  21. Trent December 9, 2015 at 2:44 am #
    You have such a good blog.
  22. Laurie December 13, 2015 at 6:50 pm #
    I use Take A Brow by Lorac. Powder color and wax to keep things under control!

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