Chicken Burrito Bowls with Bacon Guacamole and Scallion Pesto

Oh, dudes.

Is it okay if I call you dude? I know I’m almost 70 years old and it’s not exactly age appropriate, but the cyclone of my heart pump leads me down a path of juvenility unstoppable to even myself.

I wish I could Brady-Bunch-opening-credit myself into the center of these photos and look around at them all proudly. Like Alice does, ya know?

Oh hey there, diced chicken being dowsed with Mexican spices. Good to see ya!

Oh wowza, there you are all seared and sautéed and scrumptious. Noice jorb.

Oooooo, black rice. I’ve never seen such black rice-y-ness.

Oh golly gosh, Sam did you put bacon in that guacamole? Oh, Saaaaam.

(Remember Sam? Sam the butcher?)

Well my lands, look at all those scallions in that food processor. This will only hurt for a minute! Haha! Oh.

And don’t even tell me that’s jalapeno in those beans and corn. Jeeeeepers.

Is it bad form to beg?

Because I’m about to come undone. Dudes.

m-a-k-e-t-h-i-s.

Chicken Burrito Bowls with Bacon Guacamole and Scallion Pesto:

What it took for 4 bowls:

* 2 chicken breasts, diced into small cubes
* 1 Tbs. ground cumin
* 1 Tbs. chili powder
* 1 tsp ground coriander
* 1/2 tsp garlic salt
* 1 pinch crushed red pepper
* 2 slices bacon
* 1 cup uncooked black rice
* 1 avocado
* 3 Tbs. fresh lime juice, divided
* 1 bunch scallions, white ends trimmed and discarded
* 3 Tbs. toasted pepitas
* 2 cloves garlic
* 3 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil, plus 1 tsp
* 1 jalapeno pepper, minced (and seeded for less heat)
* 1 (14.5 oz) can black beans, drained and rinsed
* 1 (10 oz) can Mexi-corn, drained
* 1/2 cup crumbed cotija cheese
* chives for garnish (optional)
* 2 cups baby spinach leaves
* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Cook the black rice in a rice cooker, or your favorite stove-top method.

In a small bowl, mix together the cumin, chili powder, coriander, garlic salt, crushed red pepper, and a pinch of salt and pepper. Sprinkle the spice mix over the diced chicken until coated all over. Set aside.

Render the bacon in a large skillet over medium heat. When crispy, remove the bacon and place on paper towels to drain. Crumble with fingers. Taste one to make sure the pigs did it right.

Back in the skillet, drain all but about 2 Tbs. bacon fat. Bring the pan to a medium-high heat and add the chicken. Sear the chicken until browned all over and cooked through, 5 to 6 minutes. Remove from pan and cover to keep warm.

In a small sauce pan, bring the tsp oil to a medium heat. Add the jalapeno and sizzle for a minute. Add the black beans and corn; toss. Season with salt and pepper. Reduce the heat to low while you finish the rest of the meal. Stir once in a while.

In a food processor, combine the scallions, garlic, toasted pepitas, 2 Tbs. lime juice and a pinch of salt. With the motor running, add the remaining 3 Tbs. oil in a thin stream until you get a nice pesto consistency.

In a small bowl, combine the avocado, bacon crumbles, the remaining Tbs. of lime juice and a small pinch of salt. Mash until you get a guacamole of the most unearthly caliber.

FINALLY, place a small heaping of black rice in the bottom of each bowl. Top with baby spinach leaves, cooked chicken, a few spoonfuls of the black bean/corn mixture, a healthy dollop of the bacon guacamole and the scallion pesto. I’m starting to lose it just thinking about it.

Now just garnish with a little bit of the crumbled cotija cheese. Someone has GOT to tell me how to pronounce this word. And maybe a chive or two for prettiness?

Aaaand go.

Don’t you want to just nestle your whole head right in that?