Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrremdemlempemday!

WATER BEDS.

Do you remember water beds?!

And more crucial than that, did you have a water bed?

We totally did. Of course we did. What HAPPENED was, my parents’ best friends in the ’80s had a water bed, so we’d go over to their house and play constantly with their small kids on their water bed. It was a better experience than any amusement park could offer. #sheltered We would all get on the water bed and flop this way and swish that way, riding the waves like it was the dang Atlantic. Which naturally lead me to beg my parents to get a water bed too so that we could be one of the cool houses that had a water bed. I loved a good water bed!

Until they popped. Remember how they would pop?! Did you ever have flooding in your house because of a water bed? Better not let a cat get on the water bed, yikes.

And do you remember how you’d have to drag the water hose all the way down the carpeted hallway and into the bedroom to fill the water bed? This is what we did in the ’80s.

How long could that water stay in there? Did you have to change out the water every few months? I can’t remember. I just remember being completely obsessed with the feeling of a water bed until ours popped and my dad stuck the hose out the bedroom window and let the whole thing drain into the back yard. That and my mom always complained about how hard it was to put on a fitted sheet.

Talk about childhood depression.

Wait, are water beds even still around? Hold on, I’m checking.

THEY ARE! And boy have they come a long way. They’re not exactly the crusty water park floaty that you’d blow up yourself. Listen to what you do now, this is amazing, I’m completely cracking up. It says you don’t have to fill up the entire mattress these days. NOW, you only fill tubes with water, also known as bladders.

BLADDERS. Hahahaha!

We’re obviously starting a band called The Water Bed Bladders.

Hold on I need to pee all of a sudden.

You want to know what low-grade level panic I experience from time to time?

You’re like, “here we go.”

When you’re at a restaurant and you head to the restroom and on the doors are the words “Women” and “Men” – but in another language.

And there’s a teeny moment when you’re like, “Crap. Am I the le? The la? The se? The sa? The mosta? The meesta? What the hell is that word? I never took that in high school! Which room am I??? SOMEONE WALK OUT SO I KNOW.”

Don’t you dare leave me alone in this.

I’m reading The Year of Magical Thinking right now and catching up on And Just Like That. It’s . . . very connected, don’t you think? As I was watching it last night after reading a few chapters, it was sort of like watching the book come to life. JUST IN A WAY stop looking at me like that.

And then I remembered that IG made the leap as well a while back but I didn’t put it together at the time because I wasn’t reading the book yet.

That’s really all I had to say about that. The show’s getting better and better. Carrie still has wit, even in her grief. Miranda’s breakdowns are my favorite, and Charlotte’s . . . well, Charlotte. Bless heart.

And the book – WOW. I’m only 50 pages in, but I know it’s gonna be the type of work that sticks to the ribs. I’ll finish both this weekend and report back!

You’re like, “Let’s not and say we did.”

(and yes, I hated that modern apartment, too.)

Best deep hair conditioners: go.

This girl needs help.

Weekend plans?

We have eleven thousand birthday parties tomorrow, but other than that, not a thing! I’m planning on making sheet pan pizza and a chocolate coconut pie on Sunday (no wine allowed this time), and prepping the Valentine’s card boxes for the kids’ parties on Monday. Also, WHY IS IT that there are 24 kids in the classrooms and the Valentines come in packs of 20. Or 22. Such b.s. We’re making our own this year. I got super stabby about it, ordered a $10 stamp kit and we’re hacking at some pink construction paper and getting it done, dang it.

But I’m not bitter or anything.

From this week! Slow Cooker Shredded BBQ Chicken Tacos. Perfect for Sunday! And this Roasted Tomato Bruschetta situation which has me SHOCKED that you guys are crickets over this. You’re missing out. I somehow missed the mark on the food this week, but I’ll recover.

But really, should I be buying a bladder water bed?