Friday Flotsam

FREEEEEEEEEEleelee!

I need help.

You’re like, seriously already?

Let’s talk about joggers. Pants joggers. Sweats joggers. Running joggers. Lounging joggers. Cute joggers. Joggersjoggersjoggers.

Do you wear them? I’m starting to get into them more. But I’m having THEE hardest time finding the right pair. I did find some good running ones that are thin and airy sort of? Airy isn’t the word. They’ve got the little athletic mesh holes on the side that let air in. Breezy. They’re breezy. (“You can’t SAY you’re breezy. It negates the breezy!”) But see I need some warmer, loungy FLEECE ones, and every pair that arrives from Amazon (probably my first mistake) are bonafide hideous balloon pants that make me look like Spongebob square pants. Having none of that.

Tell me some good jogger brands! I WILL SAY, I ordered these and I feel like they’ll be pandemic perfect, but I also want some black fleece ones. Are you into joggers? This might be my new thing! Joggers.

You guys, my friend was on a plane yesterday and this drunk girl (also on the plane) stood up, TOOK OFF HER PANTS and puked everywhere. She was screaming and fighting random people nearest to her WITH NO MASK ON. The plane had to make an emergency landing to control her. It’s so 2020 right now.

Also, you are going to die: yesterday I got a mistake photo text from a young shirtless ripped dude, with the followup that said, “oh, wrong area code.” (that’s not all he said but my mom is reading this, so.) What’s even better was that Aaron was standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME when this seemingly scandalous photo popped up on my laptop, o m g. We both just looked at it. Paused. I enlarged it. (because duh) And then we laughed so hard at this poor guy, having no idea who he sent that to. (to whom he sent, whatever) I responded (obviously) with two rows of unruly HA HA HAs, and left it at that. He was SO EMBARRASSED, it was fantastic. I screen grabbed it and sent it to my GirlSquad text group. Between shirtless dude and pantless drunk girl, my friends and I were able to stay semi distracted and entertained for most of yesterday at the expense of two hopeless, half-clothed millennials. Maybe we should introduce the two of them.

I feel like you might have needed those stories right now.

Remember Halloween? How does that feel like six months ago?

Honestly was that last weekend? That can’t be right.

Was it?

I’m finishing The Memory Wood this weekend, HOLY MOLES. Have you read it? Between the anxiety from that nightmare story to the current events of these last four days I’m gonna need to watch Friends and the Little Mermaid for a straight month.

You’re like, oh she’s about to address the elephant in the room.

HAHAHAH, get it?

Never mind.

However, Ashlee and I crafted our Christmas reading list, so I’ll post those this weekend in Stories (and here later) when the books arrive. It’s nothing but warm and fuzzy and fluffy and cozy and sparkly and glitter and cuddles and a hot toddy or 80.

You in?

Weekend plans?

Not a single ding.dang.thang and it is heaven. Ohhhhh I should work on my gallery wall YES I’M STILL TALKING ABOUT IT.

Tell me HOW YOU ARE. Panicked? Confident? Depressed? Renewed? All of it swirled together and tied with a giant blue and red bow?

And then tell me your favorite joggers because priorities.