How I Get My Tighter Curls. AKA: My Attempt to Look Like Meg Ryan.

WARNING: You are about to view an onslaught of nostril photos and there is nothing I can do to prepare you besides this warning that I just typed out. It is like Carlsbad Caverns on my face, you guys. Proceed with caution.

Okay, and just a reminder: I’m not a millennial style blogger so awkward selfies with lint on my tank are what ya get! You’re welcome.

This is the bottom line. I decided a few months ago that curly hair needs to come back. Because, I have pretty thick hair (you can’t exactly tell in photos, but if you’re my hair stylist THEN YOU KNOW how obnoxious it is to tame), and I needed a new life direction for it. Something that would let it run wild like a horse and soar like an eagle. Be the hair it was meant to be.

Insert, the skinny curling iron from the ’80s.

This is what I use. 1/2-inch curling iron. If you have an old-school skinny conair from junior high, rad! You’re set, dude.

So this is what I do. Divide your hair into halves. Basically just pull the top half of your hair into a bun. We’ll start underneath. I divide the bottom half into two equal parts, and then starting from the very back . . . hold on, it’s the next photo.

Starting from the very back you’ll just curl little sections of your hair. And this is the trick, rotate the direction of the curls. Go away from your face, then towards, then away, then towards. I think I get four or five curls out of each bottom half.

This is what those curls will look like! And just let them be for now. Let ’em cool. You’ll get ALL the curling done first, then we’ll hurricane it in a bit. And go all the way to the ends! With the beach waves we don’t, but with these tighter curls I like to get all the hair curled so it’s not a strange blunt look at the end. It’ll relax and get wispy on its own. But for now, curl those mothers.

Nostrils not included.

Then, just beebop to the other side and get those pups in.

Don’t tell anyone I called them pups.

Alrighty, bottom half is done! Now go to the top and divide it in half, tying up one side and making a weird face into your camera, letting the world know that progress is being made.

That step is important. The face part.

You’ll do the same thing on top as you did below. Away from the face, towards it, away, towards.

Wait, towards to toward?

Also, and I don’t know to describe this part without sounding certifiably loony, but instead of curling your hair that way you’ve been doing it, try it like . . . a different way, where you hand holds the iron differently and you WRAP the hair around the barrel, creating a more spiraly look. Rather than a curl. If you’ve got little layers all around your head like me, that’s where it gets a little more personality. At least you believe this in your heart.

Yeah this is a scalp photo. Deal.

So what I did WAS – once all the curls were in, GO BACK UP TOP and get that iron back at the roots for a little tighter curl here and there. You want to make sure the curls start right off the bat! Like I said they’ll relax on their own, but the tighter we start, the more fun we have in this life.

And check the back for weird holes and straight parts. I had to go back and tighten up a few spots.

And then . . . we unleash the feral dogs upon humanity. And by that I mean you’ll flip your head upside down, shake it and get your fingers all in those curls!

Go BIG. Get wild!

“YOU’RE WIIIIIIILD.” Baby gets it.

SPEAKING OF, HELLO. We are so Dirty Dancing right now. WHERE MY WATERMELON AT.

Play with it. Scrunch it out, spritz it up, finger through the curls to get lots of texture and tones running around. This style is SO fun to wear, and I swear you’ll get comments for days.

And sure, it takes a while. But listen to this – you do it once, sleep on it, and it’s a totally different look the next day! Not as tight, so you can add some curl back in where needed, but it will be way more relaxed and loose. Boomidy boom.

I SWEAR I COULD HAVE USED A LINT ROLLER.

If you find yourself like, “Why do I need this hair?” Well, this.^^ Duh. ^^Yep. ^^ In. ^^ Bye. ^^

And yes I included young Linsdey Buckingham because those curls clearly need their own Facebook page.

The end.