Park Day with Ze Freeeenz

This is a post about going to the park with my friends because I can’t seem to cook jack lately.

Park days are good. You play games, sip wine, gossip with girlfriends, flip through magazines, lose track of time and pee in the trees.

I didn’t say *I* pee in the trees. I said you.

As you can see, on this particular outing we packed plenty of health food.

Aaron actually packed a few ice cream sandwiches, and I was like, “Those are going to melt.” And he said, “Naw, they’ll be fine! I’m putting them on ice.” And I said, “The ice is going to melt too.” And he said, “Naw, it’ll be fine!”

They melted all over everyone ever.

Charlie loves park days too. At this particular park you’re technically supposed to keep your dogs on leashes, which is a good idea, because Charlie will notice a fleck of dust floating in the air 20 feet away and sprint after it, never to be seen again.

Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true.

This is Aaron feeding Charlie a part of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She likes it.

And this is Seth sipping a brewski watching Aaron feed Charlie a part of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I think he likes it.

This is Charlie contemplating the metaphysical properties of the subsequent theoretical elements of the – ARE THOSE CHEEZ-ITS?

So the boys decided to fly a kite while the girls discussed Ashton and Demi’s fragile situation.

But this small baby kite didn’t seem to cut it.

So Seth got out this red German plane kite thing. It had layers and tails and what appeared to be fangs.

“Let’s get this thing in the air,” they squealed. Just kidding they didn’t squeal. They were pretty manly about expressing their desire to get that thing in the air.

Okay here we go.

Just waiting on the wind.

Heeeere we go.

I’m ready when you are, wind.

Hey man, check it out!

Yeaaaaaah! She’s off the ground! I mean my hands. She’s off my hands. Out of my hands. She’s in the air!

And then I looked away for half a nano to capture the beauty and wonder of our Earth.

Looked back and . . .

Oh.

“You guys suck at flying kites! Don’t quit your day jobs!” I said.

I don’t think they heard me.

So then we walked back to our little camp so I could find out if anything new had been discovered with Ashton and Demi.

Nothing had.

But then the boys decided to play this game with two trashcans and a Frisbee. And beer. One dude throws the Frisbee and the other dudes try and knock it into the trashcan. And I think it’s five points? And then if the dude throws the Frisbee and the other dude hits the Frisbee into this little side hole then it’s WHO CARES, YOU GUYS.

Just look at them. Holding their beers the entire time. Swatting that flying disc.

This happened a lot.

And that did too.

“So I hear she’s trying to get like 25 million of Ashton’s money. But he apparently had all these projects that had nothing to do with Demi. But she’s saying they never would have happened if she hadn’t introduced him to those people.”

Oh! Did I mention there was a real life coconut at this park day? There was a real life coconut at this park day.

Aaron decided he’d be the one to crack this thing wide open. At first he had the coconut wedged against his leg and he kept jabbing the horse shoe stake into the coconut, WAY too close to his thigh, and I was freaking out.

Then he moved it to the front of his knees, and I was worried he was going to jab the horse shoe stake into his left hand. I kept freaking out.

Look! He poked a hole in it!

Lucky for us, there was a drum circle seriously a few feet away, so our vibe was already in place. We then passed the coconut around the group, sharing the nectar of nature, becoming brothers and sisters in Yabbi Yibbi Loo Loohood.

Hey Aaron, is that gum in your mouth? Gross.

Yes, this is all very awkward. I do apologize.

I promise I’m wearing clothes. And I should probably invest in some self tanner.

Dude, that is a freaking coconut.

Now I can’t remember why it was there.

As the day grew to a close, and the bottles of wine suddenly found themselves empty, Charlie found a friend.

And of course they had to play.

So they played.

And played.

THIS THING JUST GOOSED ME!

When Charlie’s done, she’s done.

Also, notice how that dog’s not on a leash? LAW BREAKERS.

“Aunt Ash, didn’t I play so cute with that little dog? Wasn’t I just so precious?”

“Uncle Seth, don’t you think I basically kicked that dog’s a$$?”

Yes, yes you did, little one.

Park days are good.

The end.