Seared Chicken Cutlets with a Pomegranate Sauce

Ow me lawd.

Okay I need a cleanse. I’m done with the holidays. I’m rusting over. I’m corroding in my veins. I’m eroding in my lymph nodes. I’m oxidizing. I’m fossilizing. I’m homogenizing.

And you’re grossed out right now.

I forget just how much of an old lady I am, drinking my little tea and going to bed at like 7:15 every night. So when I tried to be hip and hang out with my 23 year old brother-in-law at the local hipster bar with all his super hipster friends with cool hair and cool clothes, I . . . didn’t exactly fit in.

Me, “That group on the stage is really loud. Is it always this loud? My eardrums are bleeding.”

Everyone else that’s young and cool, “Uhhhh, what?”

Me, “Wait a minute, I smell cigarette smoke. Those people are smoking! Great, now it’s going to get all gross and stinky in here and my hair is going to fall out.”

Everyone else that’s young and cool, “Uhhhh, what?”

Me, “Those young men at the bar shouldn’t be taking all of those jagermeister shots. You know that can severely affect their sperm count.”

Everyone else that’s young and cool, “Please stop talking.”

Yeah, oops.

Also, here’s some deelarshush and nutrarshush Chicken Cutlets with Pomegranate Sauce fer ya. Those hipster 23 years olds would probably hate this, HAHAHAHA.

oh.