Kitchen Renovation: Part KILL ME NOW.

You guuuuuuuys. I have forgotten how to cook. I don’t know this to be a true fact just yet, but I was watching my line-up of PBS cooking shows this morning and as I sat on my couch, pouring half a gallon of coffee into my head, I realized that all I know how to do anymore is press some buttons on a little square in my hand and say things like, “Yeah, I’ll have a large pizza with 3 pounds of bbq, a side of chicken tacos and let’s make it two bottles of wine. No, let’s go with ten.”

But we’re making progress! Renovations always teach me 4 things.

1) It takes way longer than you think.

2) It costs way more than you think.

3) It takes way longer than you think.

4) It costs way more than you think.

But I’m holding on for more one day… because things are gonna go my way.

But first! A quick tour:

Here’s Aaron drilling my floating shelves in.

DRILL, BABY, DRILL.

(that grossed me out, too.)

I told them we should just leave the wall that way and I was immediately escorted out of the room.

SQA-UEAL.

We all did a little dance once these shelves were in. And by we I mean totally not them and totally only me.

Check out my new recessed light! I know it looks wonk to the jonk right now, but after we (they) paint, it will have this nice little stainless rim around it.

Are you bored?

Eric left his John Deere trucker hat at home, so I let him borrow mine.

I’m just kidding.

See the haze of death in this photo? This same haze lines my mouth cavity right now. It’s so awesome.

I guess they deserve a break or whatever.

This drill bit worked SO HARD.

It is a drill bit, isn’t it?

Here’s Eric cutting the trim with a machine that makes me cry a little.

LOOK how posh this trim is! It’s way taller than normal trim. This trim has an ego. This trim is the captain of the football team. This trim is dating the head cheerleader.

Oh and here are my shadow boxes!

YA MADE ME A SHAAADOWBOXER, BABY. I WANNA BE READY FOR WHAT. YOU. DO-OO.

(sorry)

More poshy posh trim. It’s not bolted into the wall yet, STOP FREAKING.

Oh by the way, Olive says hi.

And Aaron says hi, too. This is his Michael Showalter face.

And here’s Er—OH! OH CRAP. OH MY WORD.

OH.

And Charlie says hi.

She’s the cleanest of us all. Not even kidding.