Friday Flotsam

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFriday! (yes, I actually just typed the word. Don’t get used to it.)

One of my favorite things in life is misunderstanding song lyrics.

Oh no, not when *I* misread them, but when others do. It’s the very best. For instance, it might come as a surprise to you that we’ve been listening to a lot- and I mean A LOT of Taylor Swift’s newest Midnights. And one of the catchier tunes on the record is Bejeweled. It hooks you. It makes you dance. The video is bizarre and fun. There’s nothing wrong with the song.

But Nat has been singing this line and it gives my life such purpose: “I probably shop real, I probably shop real . . .nice. Nice!”

I was like, “You what, Nat? Sing that again?” Her face turned this light shade of pink and she goes, “I probably shop real nice? Is that not it?”

I DIED.

It will also probably come as a shock to you that I kept my reaction just this side of completely unhinged. She took it well. We laughed a solid.

But what I desperately need to know is – what lyrics have you misheard in your life and do you still sing them that way today just to be a turd? Spill it. I need to know. Misheard lyrics are one life’s greatest treasures.

(for those non-Swifties out there <gasp!> the lyrics are, “I polish up real, I polish up real nice. Nice!”)

Speaking of favorite things, I’m going to a Favorite Things Party with all my mom friends in a couple of weeks. We’re supposed to bring our “favorite thing” as a gift, and we’ll all exchange White Elephant style.

Which – also – is ANOTHER THING I got to introduce my kids to this last week. The whole concept of a White Elephant party. While Aaron probably went to two White Elephant parties in his ENTIRE LIFE, I went to zillions. Every year my parents and their group of friends rotated houses and hosted the parties at Christmas. I even think my youth group (“when it waaaas the ninetiiiiiies” – for those Kevin Thornton fans) had them yearly. All I know is that I’ve been to a White Elephant party or 80 before.

The kids were fascinated by the whole idea. “So like, you can take a lemon?”

“Well yes, but it should be funny. Something like a gag, but a step up.”

“Like a fart?”

“No, not like a fart. And when did you start saying fart? Aaron when did he start saying fart?”

Anyway, I have ideas for my favorite things, but I want to know what would be in YOURS? What would you bring to the party?

Besides silicone nipple covers, Mindy.

Okay, I need hair help.

Yes, again.

I got it done this week (A tad darker for the winter), and my stylist said, “Bev you desperately need a hair oil. Your hair is outrageously dry and you shouldn’t leave the house ever.” <–something like that.

And I was like, “You mean like a serum? I have plenty of seru-!”

“No, a hair oil. Different thing. Something you can put on in the evening before bed so that it moisturizes your hair.”

WHAT.

What is a hair oil. Do you use hair oils? Tell me a good hair oil brand for my stuffing stocker! I mean my stocking stuffer.

Which brings me to…

I can’t get my mouth to say stuff my stockings.

At brunch a while back I kept saying stock my stuffing. But it was right before Thanksgiving so maybe I was mentally in stock stuffing mode. Now that’s it’s December surely I’ll switch over to stuff stocking mode. I mean stockings the stuffings.

No, it’s stuffing the stockings? Stuff in the stocking. Stuffing. We stuff the stock. We stock the stuff?

Never mind.

Weekend plans?

I didn’t intend for today’s photos to look so intensely lushy. Geez. I do drink water!

This weekend is bonkers, in the most fun way. A swimming birthday party tonight (indoors, ya boob!), another USA World Cup game to watch in the morning, our second b-ball game tomorrow afternoon, a mom and daughter wine and hot chocolate party with basically all of the third grade, a sleepover we’re hosting (!), a Girl Scouts event on Sunday and then I’m crashing my friends’ “holiday homes” tour on Sunday afternoon. Aaaand then I plan on sleeping until the Favorite Things party.

This is wearing you out, I can read the room.

From this week! Baked Peppers and Olives with Rosemary and Parm. I can’t wait for you to give this one a go. And your Christmas mixtape! It’s just what you need. Jazzy and festive. Moody but cheerful.

“I probably shop real, I probably shop real . . . nice. Nice!”