Freeeeeeeeeee! der. Flawt. sum. No one talks about suppositories anymore. Remember suppositories? When was the last time you heard someone mention a suppository? It’s been a minute. I guess we should be thankful for that yet I still need stories. It hit me the other day in the car that no one ever talks about […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrurdurdurdaydaydeededoodoo. I don’t even know how to talk about this week. I don’t have words. To begin the week with a horrific tragedy that will haunt me every single day as I kiss the kids’ little foreheads as they walk to the side school door. I can’t talk about it. That’s not something I can […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrideeeelllleeee! I’m so worried about Taylor Swift. AH KNOW you’re all sick to dayeth of me talking about this, but I cannot help it. 50 bajillion shows this year, all over three hours each? Are you kidding? I mean yes, she’s a force to behold, a machine, a mastermind, but. Wow. That’s gonna do a […]
Frrrrrrrrrrr! i. d! a. y! How’s your bracket? I realize that probably .087% of this audience gives an ish about March Madness. But I do so we’re talking about it! Ha! Oh. I had five losses yesterday. So like, eleven games out of sixteen were right. Not too bad! And if you had Furman beating […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrolodolodolodo! I’ve decided I cannot handle mirrored sunglasses. Not on me, not on you, not on anyone. They’re so stressful! Listen, a little bit of reflection is okay, but have you really stopped and thought about the way you feel when you’re in a conversation with someone wearing sunglasses that have a piercingly yellow mirror […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrruluuuudeeedaaaaadiddledeedooooo! WHEW. Guilty. I mean we knew it. We knew it was coming. But it was SO SATISFYING to watch the woman say the words out loud, and live. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. The micro crinkle of his lips. The slight nod. He knew it, too. But it mainly reminded me when and where I was […]
FrrrrrrrrrrrrrI’m baaaack! Whether you like it or not. I have so many Israel stories to share with you, but I’ll save that for later. For NOW I’d like to report that I exercised enormous restraint and didn’t purchase any of the above. I know you wanted me to. I looked for rugs. I looked for […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri! d.a.y. ! I’ve been living a lie. And truly, there’s no better time to come clean about it than now. I’m sure the uproar will be fierce. The disbelief deep. The disappointment everlasting. I don’t know how to even face you with this. I can barely look at myself in the mirror. My own […]
Frrrrrrrrrrrrridledeedeeeeee. So, okay. (<–name that movie.) I’m heading out in a little over a week on an ENORMOUS work trip. I’ve talked about this a bit in Stories (obnoxiously teased is more like it), and I’m ready to tell you where I’m going! (only because the flights are booked and it’s officially official.) I’m meeting […]
Faaaaaarrrrrraaaaaaaarrrdaaaaaaaar. Lavender Haze. (I warned you this would be the first thing we talked about. Don’t x out.) Also today’s Flotsam is p u r e unadulterated pop culture, nostalgia and makeup, so don’t expect the earth’s gravitational pull this morning. Or perhaps expect it more. Did you watch? Watch the video. Go watch it. […]
