Friday Flotsam

Freeeeeeeeeee! der. Flawt. sum.

No one talks about suppositories anymore.

Remember suppositories? When was the last time you heard someone mention a suppository? It’s been a minute.

I guess we should be thankful for that yet I still need stories.

It hit me the other day in the car that no one ever talks about suppositories anymore and Nat was like, “what’s a suppository?” and I got shamefully excited to tell her. The look on their faces. Something I’ll treasure for a lifetime.

Have you ever had to have one? I did once, as a child, and it was a dark, dark day. I can’t remember exactly why I needed it, but when my mom showed me that space shuttle of a pill, the room closed in on me and I saw the very face of the devil himself. I’d been sick, but with what? No idea.

Get this, and don’t tell Aaron I posted this, but he had to have one in HIGH SCHOOL. Baaahahahaha. There was something up with his stomach or intestines or something, and that was the only way to fix it. I had to clean up the barf from Nat and Will shortly after that engaging storytelling session though. Absolutely worth it.

Did you ever need one? How did it go? Tell me everything immediately right now.

Okay I have a cleaning question.

Oooh! Just felt the collective perk of attention from you all.

My glassware. And this is a fairly recent thing. But I cannot get some (most) of it clean after a run in the dishwasher. It’s mainly on my jars, and I have no idea why that would be. But they’re filmy. Like I can take my finger and run it on the inside of the glass and pull up a chalkiness to it. What IS that?

Yes, I use dish detergent, and yes, I use that little blue liquid that you squirt into that one little cup thingy ever so often. I keep up with that, so I’m not sure why all of a sudden my glassware is filmy. The plates are fine. Bowls – a-okay.

And oh! I DID recently clean out the dishwasher itself. But I didn’t run it alone with vinegar. Maybe I should do that.

Anyway I just need my glasses to sparkle like they do in the commercials and they are not. THEY ARE NOT.

What’s going wrong here? Yes I could ask Dr. Goog, but you’re cuter.

Let’s talk about Easter candy.

Are you in? Are you out? Are you maybe?

What’s your favorite Easter candy? And if you say Cadbury or Peeps, we are not the same. Those should be tossed right out along with suppositories. Actually, a suppository would make a better Easter candy. (ooooooo yes she diiiiiid!)

I’m not really into Easter candy, but I’ll nibble on something chocolate and call it. However, if by “Easter candy” you mean a creamy deviled egg and a mimosa, I’m in.

Do people even have a favorite Easter candy?

Weekend plans?

I’m keeping this short today because we’re headed to Fayetteville for a quick Easter neck hug! (and a creamy deviled egg and a mimosa) The weather is going to be outrageously perfect. I plan on being on a patio of some sort 88% of the time. We have family plans, friend plans, pool plans, farmer’s market plans, Easter farm pot-luck plans. I mentioned the mimosa, right?

From this week! Your MIXTAPE. Not nearly enough of you are listening, and that needs to change. Listen this weekend! It’s cheerful and dreamy. I hope you love it to pieces. And my final Israel recap! A few funny stories and loads of beautiful scenery. Please do check it out. I’ll come after you if not.

Okay, I’m off to get ready, but I’ll be checking back regularly to laugh over your suppository stories and to make notes on how to get my effing glasses clean. Heeeeelp.

Also do you make a ham for Easter? I need to know.