Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIDDDDEEEEEEEE Flotsam is back! (I’ve said that a lot this week.)

Do you ever have that moment when you completely forget what to do with your hands? Or your fingers? It’s more like, your HANDS forget what to do. Like the way you hold something or open something or apply something? And your hands go shock blank at the task they’ve been given. Anyone?

The other day I was wrapping a birthday gift for the kids (so.over.wrapping.gifts.) and I grabbed the scotch tape to tape up the paper, and I had no idea how to hold the tape thingy or how to pull the tape out. No idea! Is it my right hand that holds and my left that pulls? Which fingers do the pulling? How do I anchor this clear plastic contraption in my hand again? I felt completely psycho. And it comes back naturally within a few moments, but it’s in those few moments when you question everything. Is this Covid? Did I just have a stroke? What year is it? When did I last wash my hair?

It’s only happened one other time a LONG time ago (like years) and I probably already told you in a Flotsam. I forgot how to put on face cream! Like once the jar lid was off and my right hand had dipped into the cream, do I put it on both fingertips and do the spreading? Or just the one hand? Do I set the container down before applying, or hold onto it? It was the wildest thing. Does this ever happen to you?? Don’t leave me alone in this.

It’s just coffee with milk, why do you ask?

Do you guys remember the era in the ’80s when you’d see a Styrofoam Sonic cup in the middle of the street and your mom would run over it in the car just to hear it pop?

RIGHT??

It was my mom’s favorite thing. We had this brilliant brown and yellow wood-paneled station wagon in the ’80s, and there was this magical era when that’s all we did. We’d run those suckers over, hear the satisfying pop of foam and high five while Amy Grant’s El Shaddai blared wholesomely in the background.

UNTIL IT STOPPED. I’ll never forget my mom doing an about face one afternoon and announcing, “We can’t run over the Styrofoam Sonic cups in the road anymore.”

“What, why?”

“There are bombs in them.”

“What?”

“Yep, teenagers are putting bombs in them, and it could do some real damage to the wagon.”

“How do you know this?”

“Oh it’s all over the local nightly news! Do you want cheese on your spaghetti?”

I miss the ’80s.

And yes I want cheese on my spaghetti.

Just what age were you when you realized it was MANILA folder and not VANILLA folder?

First of all, why the one l in manila and two in vanilla? That makes zero sense.

Second of all, I’m not going to tell you that I had to double check before sending a text to my aunt earlier this week as in yesterday. Not gonna do it.

Have any of you watched Being the Ricardos on Prime yet?

Be honest, is it worth it? Does Kidman do Ball justice? Honestly, it’s so hard for me to imagine Nicole having a funny bone in her body. (besides her actual funny bone in her elbow, ha) Does it work? Does it translate? Is there chemistry? Is it awkward?

All it’s really done for me is want to show the kids I Love Lucy. There’s nothing more classic. Slapstick meets wit in one. Pure genius, that Lucy. I used to have all the seasons on VHS when I was in college. I Love Lucy and Laverne and Shirley. I was a LUNATIC for Laverne and Shirley. In my head I was Shirley. Her little level-headed quick scoots around the room while keeping rebellious Laverne at bay. It was the best.

Who would win in a fight::: Lucy and Ethel vs Laverne and Shirley?

Tread. Carefully.

Weekend plans?

Not much! And it’s wonderful. I’m halfway through The Castaways (so scandalous!), so I’ll finish this weekend and hopefully start a new one in this batch. Speaking of, here’s my Book Recap of 2021, if you’ve not seen it yet! And your January mixtape! Give your ears what they want, already.

I really need to drag out EVERYTHING under my bed and go through it. There are picture frames and rogue socks and missing eye masks and crusty tissues and boxes of fossils. (don’t ask) It’s insane. Will you help me? Take a rapid test first. Ha.

It was always a Sonic cup, am I right??