Friday Flotsam

FF ff would you believe my f key is STUCK? FFF like stuck.

I actually just popped it out! The f key just came o my keyboard. OFF my keyboard. What do I do?! It’s bright under there. Like a little glowy alternate universe with tiny men in silver jumpsuits and gray hair and wait IS THAT BILLY FROM STRANGER THINGS?

Yeah I’m still thinking about it.

Speaking of (I think I got it popped back in. It feels normal again. Carry on nothing to see here.) are there any new scary fall shows that you know of that will be on Netflix or Hulu or Amazon this October? Like, remember The Haunted Hill House on the Hill that’s Haunted House from last year, and how everyone and their dryer lint was into that? Do you think there will be anything like that this year? I already cannot wait, whatever it’s going to be.

And it doesn’t have to be pee-your-face terrifying. (although that’s a bonus) Do you know of any regular shows getting hype that are about to be released? This is such a glorious time of year for that. Yeah, the f key is pretty back to normal I think! ffffff. f fff

Wait, nope.

It’s jiggly. When I touch the top of the key it wiggles under my fingerprint. And I’m super grossed out by that string of words just now.

Anyway tell me about new fall shows. Scary or not! (but really the scary ones)

Do you ever have dreams that are obviously dreams, but you’re like, “Wait did that HAPPEN, THO?” (Mom, I’m spelling “tho” like the millennials. It’s trendy. I’m not an idiot.)

I keep having this dream, this specific dream for YEARS, and I mean y e a r s, and I swear to you it’s real.

First of all, I can fly.

(wait are you X-ING OUT? just when my f key is acting normal?!)

I can fly with my arms and legs, I can. Up in the sky, there I am. And it’s so real. I know exactly what to do with my arms that able me to get off the ground and up in the trees. I know exactly how to keep flapping. Well, less flapping and more like, scooping up the air – like you would in a pool! You know the feeling when you’re under water and you scoop and/or push the water to move you this way or that? It’s exactly that. But up in the sky. And it’s actually really easy! You need to stop laughing.

So I have this recurring dream of me going into this restaurant, or maybe it’s a coffee shop in Fayetteville, AR in 1996, when I first moved there. And these two little shops are RIGHT NEXT to each other, but tucked back in the woods sort of. I can see them, I can smell them, yet they don’t exist. BUT DO THEY?

This is not making sense.

Okay.

The placement of these two tiny buildings (f key is jacked again) is so familiar, yet I can’t place actual memories with them. Are they old restaurants that used to be in Fayetteville that are no more? Or am I forgetting about these two places all together? It’s all so real yet I can’t figure out exactly where they were. Or are? Who am I?

Does this ever happen to you? The dream is SO VIVIDLY amiliar – ugh, sorry. FAMilar that you swear it’s happened before, but you can’t decide if it’s a dream or a memory?

You know what, never mind.

Raise your hand if you’ve started shopping for all clothes yet!

Sorry, FALL. &#$ing key.

I keep scouring my fave online clothing shops (basically Everlane every single day) in hopes that a new look will reach out to me , slap my ace – sorry, FFFFFACE and say, “This is so you, Bev! Order immediately!” But I’m coming up kinda dry.

I did however order a new trench a while back! From the most unexpected place. But it’s darling! A pale tan, softer than ever, and pretty dern sleek. Now I just need these dog breath temps to effing drop so I can get my steeeeez on.

Actually, have any of you bought Everlane’s cashmere sweaters? How do they feel? Worth the bones?

And what . . . do we think about corduroy? Are we an obviously yeah, girl! or a you have got to be kidding me?

You’re like, “uhhhh I eel like you got your new all look right there, lady.” (I’ve given up on the stupid key)

Okay, right now my fave (not fav) thing in life is the New York Times mini crossword. I do it every single morning, in those very first waking minutes of the day, hot foamy coffee in hand, world at my fingertips. (<–just kidding) And it times you! There’s a freaking timer, so when that thing goes off, I am on a mission to ill in all those blanks. My record time? Two minutes and twelve seconds WHAAAAAT BOIIIIIIII. (<–sorry)

Tell me more daily quizzes or puzzles like this to obsess over! (NOT SUDEIKIS OR SUCOOCOO SUDOOKIE OR WHATEVER THAT WEIRD GAME IS)

I love brain teasers, pop culture quizzes, ish like that. Spill it.

Weekend plans?

Besides reminding me to get this reaking key ixed?

We’re headed to the Prairie Village jazz fest tomorrow! It is sooooo much fun. Amazing (no, truly!) jazz, beer and wine stations, food trucks everywhere, face painting for the kids, all the things. We’re meeting like, literally 20 friends with a ton of blankets and parking it on the lawn all afternoon. If you live in town, definitely look into this. It’s a freaking blast.

Also, if you live in town, don’t forget that my in-person book club is next Thursday (Sept 12th) at Golden and Pine! 5-7pm. Come, gab, drink, snack. Repeat.

No seriously, I can fly.