Haaaaaaaaaaaave you met Ted?
Wait, that’s something else.
Haaaaaaaaaaave you heard about Roth’s BRAND NEW SNACK CHEESES? (<—snack. cheese.)
They’re here! And WARNING: your life is over. (I saw that smile.)
Because hi, they’re individually-wrapped cheese bitey nibbles that come in not one, not two, but THA-REE flavors. Yep, the good news just keeps on comin’.
As if you already didn’t know about my Roth cheese obsession, I think these snack cheeses just tipped me over into full-on nutcase territory.
Maybe it’s because I’m drawn to all things little. I’m into little.
Not so much into BIG. Like, when you see big giant letters from a sign that aren’t actually in the air, but they’re on the ground next to a building? That is gross. Not right. Can’t handle. Get it gone.
Or like, when you see the county fair rides all broken down and into large disgusting pieces on a trailer? No. Stop it. I can’t see that or understand how to emotionally process that mess.
Give me little OR GIVE ME NOTHING.
Creamy gouda snack bites. (hurts so good.)
Creamy mozzarella snack bites. (never leave me.)
Creamy cheddar snack bites. (be mine forever.)
But I’m not dramatic about it or anything.
And the extra pimp thing is, they have all the nutritional info right there on the package, so if you’re watching calories, you know exactly when (or when not) to cut it off.
Boom.
Who else’s OCD is TICKING to just reach up and tuck Will’s little jean pocket back in?
I know.
Me, too.
Let’s just breathe together.
Another thing you can do with Roth’s new snack cheeses, if you’re under the age of five and don’t plan on eating when your mommy tells you to because she feels like you didn’t eat enough at preschool is. . . .
Stick them on your face.
Just go right ahead and slap ’em on your greasy mug. I’m sure your eyelash mites didn’t get enough to eat either so let’s just make sure THEY’RE WELL FED.
I’m fine.
It’s fine.
Perfect for an afternoon snack, splendid for a picnic, crazy ideal for an extra pop of protein and calcium on a lunch plate – I’m addicted. They’re addicted. We’re all addicted!
And you can get these anywhere, really. I’ve seen them at big grocery stores, and even Trader Joe’s! GIT YEW SUM.
Also, raise your hand if you got my opening sitcom reference. I want to squeal and/or high five you.
(This post is definitely in partnership with my lover, Roth Cheese. But all snackings and ramblings are totally my own. We coo?)
9 Responses to Roth’s New Snack Cheeses! Because I need another reason to eat cheese.