Friday Flotsam

F r i d a F r i d a F r i d a F r i d a F r i d a F r i d a F r i d a                             Y.

You know how in every forensic show that you watch (the real ones! not like CSI), it shows a photo of the victim over and over and over throughout the show? It’s like, one specific photo that flashes up on the screen every few seconds. It might be the victim with the suspect, looking all young and cute in the ’80s on an orange floral sofa, arms around each other, laughing together with their giant feathered hair. Or it might be a posed school photo of the victim, or a glamor shot from a scam artist at the mall, or just a regular nonchalant snapshot of the victim in a tiny swimsuit leaning against an arm rail at the local pool.

But it’s ONE PHOTO that they show you over and over and over. And you wonder, how did they pick that one? How did they land on that choice? Who submitted the photo? Because it needs to be a decent photo, you guys.

I wish there was a way to submit your own photo now, JUST IN CASE. That way, you know what’s on that screen over and over and over. And on the submission form, maybe you can pick the editing selections, like – black and white is okay for this photo, but don’t use sepia BECAUSE IT MAKES MY NOSE LOOK BIG.

Look, I’m just thinking ahead, guys.

We have this ongoing joke at our house right now, for the past week or so, and I’m desperate to know if you think it’s as funny as we do.

You’re like, MY MONEY’S ON NO.

You know how in Tangled, the evil mom always goes, “Rapuuuunzel, let down your haiiiiiir!”

Dude, if you add a word in front of hair, it changes everything. For better or worse, you tell me.

RAPUNZEL, LET DOWN YOUR CHIIIIIN HAAAAAIIIIIIR.

RAPUNZEL, LET DOWN YOUR NOOOOOSE HAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIRRRRR.

And if you change the word hair all together, it’s even more amazing.

RAPUNZEEEEEEL, LET DOWN YOUR BUTT CHEEEEEEEEEEEK.

Your turn. It’s addicting, I swear.

Or maybe it’s because there are two 3 year olds living in my house. Along with Will and Nat.

RAPUNZEEEEEEEEL, LET DOWN YOUR TOE NAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIILLLL.

Um, what the hay is dry brushing?

I saw this article on Goop (which is never a good idea to begin with), on dry brushing, and I’m so confused. What IS IT? I’ve never heard of this before! I swear, once I think I’ve got a decent hold on skin and face and life care, they go and throw DRY BRUSHING AT ME? No.

No.

Do you dry brush? Because of course I might want to, ugh.

Looks like you spray some body oil on a body brush (can I just use my wooden vegetable brush in the kitchen sink?) and then brush upwards? Is that it?

But they say to dry brush for 3-5 minutes EVERY SINGLE DAY. That seems obnoxious to me. Aren’t there dead skin cells all over the floor after dry brushing? Do you have to sweep or vacuum or mop or light a torch afterward? I’m just kidding.

Do you?

RAPUNZEEEEEEEL, LET DOWN YOUR SKIN TAAAAAAAAAAAG.

I need a new serum!

Just ran out of my TJ’s antioxidant serum, so I’m looking for something to use right after a face cleanse, and before sunscreen. Something with a bunk ton of Vit C in it. What do you use?

Do you love it?

Are you obsessed?

Do you want to pat in on the head and call it Frank?

Give me the goods.

Weekend plans?

We’re ripping out our garden today! Not sure why I used an exclamation point there, but I’m kind of ready to see it go BUH BAH. However, in place of the bald, crispy zinnia stalks, embarrassingly-bolted broccoli and the last of the under-ripe yet rotting tomatoes, we’re going to slap in some cooler weather ish, like some dark leafy green lettuces. Our marigolds are still thriving, so we’ll leave those in place for pops of orange here and there. And some sweet potatoes that I planted back in April! I need to check on those. What else can go in a fall garden? I’m totally blanking.

RAPUUUUNZEL, LET DOWN YOUR EAR LOOOOOOOOOOOOBE.