Friday Flotsam

YADIRF. FRIDAY. yaDIRF. FRIDay. Yadirf. Friday.

Listen to this crazy dream I had!

You’re like, “Or not?”

Two nights ago I woke up over and over and over having the same dream. Stuck in it. Not able to get out of it. And I would call it a nightmare, but let me tell you about it first, and you tell me if it was a dream or a nightmare.

I was stuck in a giant bottle of rosé and couldn’t get out.

(stop laughing.)

There’s me, all Honey-I-Shrunk-the-Lush-style, clinging to the inside of the rim of the bottle, trying not to fall down IN THE TANK OF ROSÉ and drown.

I would say it’s a nightmare, only because my bedroom seemed hot every time I woke up. But you know how you don’t eeeeven have the energy to get out of bed and walk the 10 feet to the thermostat and up the temp? No way, man. Too tired.

I’d also say it’s a nightmare because I couldn’t breathe out of my nose. I’ve been sick all week, and the nose spray was all the way out on the kitchen table, and if there’s no way I’ll get up to change the temperature, then there’s no way in HAYELL I’ll get up to walk across the entire house in the complete dark to get the nose spray. Even if both tasks need to be accomplished at 11:30pm. And 1:45am. And 3:15am. And one more time at 4:35am. Not doing it, bud.

But then AGAIN, it might have just been a dream, because – well, rosé.

Do I need to lay off the rosé?

Be extremely careful in the way you answer that.

Remember that old perfume from the ’90s, EXCLAMATION?

It was like, a white bottle in the shape of a dot, and then the lid was a black line, making the exclamation point. I mean ! Remember that? Do you think it still exists?!

I guess I should take the five seconds and ask Dr. Goog.

Hold on.

Holy crap, LOOK. It’s everywhere! I loved that perfume! I bet it smells like donkey feces today.

I also loved Tea Rose. Do you remember that one? And Sunflowers! AND POISON. DO YOU REMEMBER POISON? I could never afford Poison as a tween, but I yoinked a sample at a grocery store once, and felt suuuper fancy wearing it to . . . Sunday School.

What were your favorite junior high perfumes?! I need to remember more brands that I’ve forgotten about so I can squeal in nostalgia right as Aaron walks in the room because it’s his faaavorite thing in the world when I get really loud about things from the ’90s.

OHHHH DAWSON.

Joey got mugged. I found the mugger creepily cute.

Joey likes her English professor, but all I see when I look at Ken Marino is his hilarious moment in Wet Hot American Summer when he crashes the kid school bus while singing “Danny’s Song” by Kenny Loggins. “And in the morning when I rise, bring a tear of joy to my eyes, and tell m- OH F#&%$!” Best.

Joey sang on stage with Charlie’s band and I’ll never be able to unsee that.

Pacey and Audrey are hot and heavy and I haaaaaate it.

Don’t get me wrong! I love Audrey. She reminds me of a close friend of mine. Huge lips, quick witted, sarcastic but with a hint of unconditional encouragement and a twinkle in her eye. (Yes, Ash I’m talking about you.) But I just CANNOT deal with the way Pacey looks at her. That George Clooney smile is only for Joey! Joe. Jo?

I don’t like Dawson’s hair this short.

Jen makes me straight loco. I was semi sort of maybe starting to kind of like her a teeny tiny bit, but I changed my mind. I can’t do it. While her HAIR ain’t so heinous these days, her everything else just bugs. WHERE IS THAT GIANT BOTTLE OF ROSÉ WHEN I NEED IT.

She also just broke up with Dawson. Yay!

Six episodes left of Season 5, which I’ll definitely finish this weekend.

You’re like, “. . . great. . . can’t wait.”

I feel like there are two camps of people in this world.

One camp pours the yeast over the warm water and lets it sit on the top of the water, trusting it will fall into the water, beginning to dissolve and grow.

And the other camp pours the yeast over the warm water, and then stirs it just a tiny bit. Ensuring that the yeast mixes in with the water in order to dissolve and grow.

Which camp are you in?

Weekend plans?

We’re supposed to get 56 inches of rain this weekend, which normally I’d be amped up for (<–sorry about the words amped and up), but I have a huge outdoor weekend shoot, so I’m already extra stabby.

Buuuut, I seriously just found Tea Rose perfume on Amazon right now, so this just might turn things around.

Tell me not to click.

TELL ME NOT TO CLICK.