Friday Flotsam

FriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiLLELUJAH.

I need help.

DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.

My coffee grinder just went on the fritz. (not to be confused with, my coffee grinder is puttin’ on the ritz.) It died on me this week! And we’d only had it for six months. What GIVES, grinder.

I think it’s my fault. (you’re like, I KNEW IT.)

The one I have is a Bodum, and it doesn’t have that little container dealy that you pull out AFTER you grind your goods. So like, you grind the beans, then you turn the WHOLE machine over to pour the grounds into the pour-over vessel. Instead of unscrewing and removing the little cup thingy and pouring THAT into the coffee vessel. Know what I mean, Vern?

That said, often times I just stick the whole grinder in the sink so I can rinse it out later. I thiiiiiink (and this is just a skeleton hypothesis) that the waaaater in the siiiiink maaaaaaay have fried my grinder. Due to . . . well, me.

Perhaps.

So! I need a new coffee grinder. Preferably one with that little cup/container/thingy that unscrews from the grinder. Thus making it more user friendly for my moronic noggin.

What do you use?! I hear Burr grinders are the way to go. What makes a Burr a Burr? Is Burr the brand? Or the technique? And why isn’t it called a Purr? (I feel like they needed me in that meeting.)

DAWSON’S CREEK. (you’re like, PASS.)

I’m not hating it anymore!

I’m in Season 2, in the first half. TAMARA just came back (can’t stand her), and Pacey’s accepted that it’s over (Good, because Pacey and I belong together.) I feeeeel like he’s starting to like the little blonde gal with the wide smile, Andie McPhee. I like her! She’s like a super wholesome Gwyneth Paltrow meets a 1998 dELiA*s catalog.

Dawson’s curled copper/blond bangs couldn’t be worse, and Jen’s confused, choppy Lilith Fair hair makes me want to rip my eyeballs out.

I THINK Dawson’s parents are to split. The very last thing I saw was Dawson’s mom’s giant bangs say, “Mitch, it’s time.” And Mitch’s biceps reply, “I’ll go.” DU DU DUUUUU.

Jen’s grandmother’s “exorcised-a-demon” hair is one of my favorite characters on the show. Hands down.

Joey drives me bonkers, but I need her tan. And her long neck with no thinning skin and zero jowls. Right now she’s discovering her artistic side, and Andie’s brother just kissed her at the diner, under that HUGE (not fake at all) full moon. Will she tell Dawson?! Or will she not?

Basically, I’m finding myself getting invested. Finally. I’m D Y I N G to see sparks fly between Joey and Pacey. (Also, I read ahead because I’m that person, and there are things I need to see unfold! Will Pacey and Andie date? Will Jen stop wobble talking? Will Joey and Jack hook up again? Will Dawson shave his head? I HAVE TO FIND OUT. Know what I mean, Vern?)

I think the word “anyhoo” can rot in hell.

You saw my plant post, right?! Just making sure you saw it. I forgot to mention that we also have that TINY FAMILY LOVE CACTUS (remember from Valentine’s Day? Or did you block that from your memory, too?), aaaand a few aloe plants scattered around. I didn’t show you those because they’re so common. But I like common! Common’s good. Common’s special. Never mind.

You’ve listened to this mixtape, right? Just making sure you’ve heard it. It’s a gud’n.

Oh! A lot of you are asking about my ladies trip to Boulder, and what recommends I would give. I have a full post (I almost typed pull fost) coming on that trip next week. SIMMER DOWN, ALREADY. (<–just kidding.)

Weekend plans?

We have family coming to town today! BUT, it’s going to be the hottest this Earth has ever experienced the very days they’re here. 97 degrees tomorrow, with a humidity of SCREW THIS. All our plans are outdoors! What the hay, may? My picture-perfect summer itinerary of visiting a nearby farm town and its outdoor wineries, a picnic at a splash park, outdoor grilling while the kids swim in our blow-up pool, capped with another backyard movie, all sounds like a complete muggy poo poo fest. But I’m not bitter or anything.

We’ll figure it out, Dawson. I’m an artist, Dawson. Let me breathe, Dawson.

Oh hey – what does carpal tunnel feel like? Asking for a friend…