Friday Flotsam

Fridayyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Why doesn’t Chipotle have queso?

It just dawned on my brain hole the other day – Chipotle doesn’t have queso. How are we living in a world where Chipotle does not have queso? I think that would be a BOSS move for them. A KILLER move. (But not a boss killer move. Just…making that clear.)

Qdoba has queso. Flying Burrito has queso. Moe’s has queso. Freebirds has queso.

But the monarch of burrito chains in all the land DOES NOT HAVE QUESO? Pft.

Is it because they think it’s not healthy enough? Bull honky malarkatude.

How do we make this happen? Can we start a petition? Tube tops? Host a rally? Am I asking too many questions?

Because this blog post is about to make your life a living hell.

Who’s watching This Is Us?

I’m dying.

I haven’t watched yet! I saw the previews all summer and was like, “Okay this is going to be my soul’s new soul, I can feel it in my soul.” And then it came on and I completely forgot!

Tell me about it. It it AS good as the previews looked? Is it Parenthood good? Because I need my emotions to be tarred and feathered, tied to a cinderblock and thrown into the Mississippi river, never to be found again.

On a scale from my-toe-jam-is-more-interesting, to upping-your Zoloft online without perscription, where does it fall?

And I need the truth.

And I’m done asking questions.

Is that okay with you?

Just kidding, ha!

Maybe.

I have a dark confession to make. This is going to be quite tough for me to say, because it’s taken a very long time to come to terms with accepting that this is the kind of person that I am.

…I stick my fingers in the pickle jar.

I know. I KNOW. Just delete me now!

BUT HOW DO YOU GET THE PICKLES OUT.

You can’t stick a fork in there. It never actually stabs a pickle. It just moves the pickles around the jar and you get so frustrated that you have to invent new profanity. Words so profane they make the old cuss words sound adorable.

Spoons don’t work.

Knives don’t.

Tongs are too big.

The pickles would slide right out anyway.

Nothing works.

Nothing!

Plus I’ve quite grown to enjoy the cold pickle water on my fingers.

Do I need friends?

I have a new Havarti Crab Melt recipe on Wisconsin Cheese Talk! It is straight stupid. I mean, it murders the tuna melt. You’ll lose your mind. If you can, slide this lunch idea into your meal plan next week, if you feel like BEING AWESOME.

Weekend plans? I think we’re taking the grems to an apple orchard this morning. We haven’t done that yet this fall, so we’re teetering on the edge of classified failuredom. I swear though, if there are chickens just roaming around all willy nilly, I might have to sit in the car. You never quite know the bok-ing habits of these primal creatures! Are they feral? Are they tame? Are they expecting me to pet their heads? No. Just pass me an apple pie and let’s call it.

You can also hand me some queso if you want, since CHIPOTLE APPARENTLY REFUSES.

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