FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFriday.
Do your hands ever forget what they’re supposed to do?
You know like, muscle memory? Actually, not that. But more like, they just straight forget the order of movemental motions. Okay wait. What I mean, specifically, is when you’re either rubbing eye makeup remover on your face, or applying moisturizer. You know how your hands have a movement they do every single time? One hand holds the jar, the other hand dips into the jar. Then the jar goes down. Then both hands get to work. And the movement and flow of application is nearly the exact same thing every time.
Do your hands ever forget that movement!? MINE DO. (you could tell we were about to jump straight down this rabbit hole.)
MINE TOTALLY DO.
And more than once! Probably three times total in my life hood. It’s the most bizarre feeling. They’ll start the job, and then just go still. Do I use both hands in this part? Just one? What do I moisturize first? My forehead? Don’t forget my chin! Did I already do my chin? What about the little nook under my nose? Did I do that part? Okay the right hand goes lightly under both eyes. RIGHT? Why does none of this seem familiar? What is the order of movement?? What is HAPPENING TO MEEEEE.
And then, they remember. (you’re like, “All of that just to say they remember? I’m out.”)
But when they finally remember, you feel this enorm surge of relief pour over you like a huge tub of ice cold water in a Gatorade cooler. But instead of water, it’s filled with rosé. And you drink it. And cry.
…That’s all I had to say about that.
If I could take two things from this world, lock them in a cage and throw it down a water well with a cinder block tied to it, it would be mechanical pencils and radicchio.
Hands down. No question.
First of all, there is no viable use for a mechanical pencil. The lead SUCKS. It’s thin, brittle, breaks off the second you apply it to paper. That is, if the lead actually stays outside of the pencil chamber. Most of the time its turtle head disappears back inside its metal cocoon where all the other broken lead is. I will never support the use of mechanical pencils.
Now, remember those multi-colored pens from back in the ’80s, when you click click click and change the colors on a highly-justified, emotional whim? THAT I can get behind.
But not radicchio.
What on earth is radicchio even supposed to be? It’s not cabbage. It’s not lettuce. It’s a confused, bitter piece of chicory that involves the words “damage to human retinal tissue.” Really, the Wiki told me! And I’m not getting the message all wrong so don’t even try to look it up and convince me otherwise. I think the internet is down anyway.
You know those tubs of mixed greens that you get at the grocery store? I totally fish that radicc-ish out. Ew. Get out. No room for ya. Be GONE.
Unless I’ve just never had it prepared the right way. But that’s it. THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY.
And don’t try to convince me otherwise!
Oh, adding black liquorice to the cage. STAAAANK.
Are you watching the Olympics? Of course you are! Who’s your fave? What’s your favorite sport to watch? For me it’s swimming and gymnastics because I’m a walking cliché.
I don’t like Lochte’s hair color choices though. Besides the platinum. I can dig that, but the colors of the frickin’ rainbow? No. He looks like a bag of jelly beans.
That’s all.
Okay, I’d like to start this section with a loud and firm I AM NOT PREGNANT.
But! Did you hear Madewell just released a line of maternity jeans? All the pregnant ladies be like PRAAAAISE.
They sent me some to try out, and I was like, “Madewell. I’m not pregnant. What are you trying to tell me? I’m not having any more kids so back off, already.”
But. . . the jeans. The jeans are freaking perfect. (Reminder: I AM NOT PREGNANT.)
They’re so, so comfy, and stylish as hay. You know how other maternity jeans don’t really cut down in the front? Well, these do! You’re not pulling anything up over the belly. The snap and elastic bands nestle UNDER the belly. You can kind of see it in my photo above ^^^. (Reminder: I AM NOT PREGNANT.)
But I will wear these jeans in the fall with a long (striped, obvs) top over it and dark booties. Done and done. (Reminder: I AM NOT PREGNANT.)
So to all my maternity and new-mom reader pals, for the love, go get yourself some delicious jeans.
(Reminder: I AM NOT PREGNANT.)
(but I could go for some tacos.)
Weekend plans? I’m getting an eye exam today. At 2:30. I told the appointment lady, “That’s normally when my dentist appointments are. Tooth HURTY. Hahahahaha! …hello?”
I’m actually diving back into cooking this weekend and have a lot of fun recipes to share with you. Matter of fact, if there’s anything you’d like me to create, in this late-summer-sort-of-headed-into-fallish season, seriously let me know. I’m a little washed up on ideas, and would totally dig some input.
Other than that, nart merch! Tell me what you’ve going on.
Reminder: I AM NOT PREGNANT.
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