F R I D E E E E E E eeE EE eEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEE.
Kardashian Self Tanner REPORT: (don’t x out)
I actually like it! This is the specific one I used. The instant one. Holy balls I was scared. But it looks nice! Bronzey. Sun kissed. It’s not too intense, because I used the applicator mitt. This thing. I DO have a little streak on my ankle that I need to exfoliate this morning and smooth into my foot, but it’s hardly noticeable. At least to me. Aaron’s probably scarred forever and hasn’t said anything because he’s a gentleman like that.
I think I’ll do the lightest ever once over this morning before we head to Arkansas for the holiday. (I secretly want to say “for holiday” like they do in Europe. Not THE holiday. Just holiday. I get back from holiday on Monday. I love it! Actually, I sound pretty d-baggy.)
I’ll report again on the Snaps today what a second coat looks like. I should probably stop while I’m ahead. But really, what’s oooooone tiny extra layer going to do, right?
I’m talking way too much about self tanner right now. If I told you I had a mole removed this week, does that make things better between us?
No?
Oh.
Remember faces of little children on the backs of milk cartons? What happened to that? Why did it stop? Other than the internet and advanced technology and cell phones and all that.
I think they need to start doing it again. I think I should be on the back of a milk carton. Just to say “hey”, ya know. Just me, smiling. Looking awkwardly, right at you. “Hi! It’s me. Bev. I’m actually at home . . . in Kansas. But I just wanted to pop in and say hi. On this milk carton here. Hope you’re doing well in life. Get your oil changed. Okay bye.”
I think that needs to happen. But only on organic milk. Reduced fat.
. . . Chocolate milk.
And heavy cream.
Okay fine, and wine bottles.
Do you ever wash your hands on cold glasses? Cold drinking glasses? Cold drinking glasses with a bunch of condensation on the outside of them? That’s basically the way I wash my hands at restaurants. Besides when I go to the restroom, you freak! Gross.
Like, AT the table. If I’m in a conversation with someone, and I suddenly feel the urge to wash my hands, but I don’t want to be rude and get up and leave, I just rub my hands down the sides of the condensation, and I feel so much better.
Sure sure, I have 13 hand sanitizers in my bag, but that would require picking UP the bag, rummaging THROUGH the bag, getting teed off AT the bag, you know. Glass rubbing is where it’s at.
You do this, right? I’m sure you do.
Sorry I called you a freak up there.
Show me your favorite cover up. I’m headed to Cabo with my Girl Squad in less than a month, and I’m officially fine tuning my beach wardrobe. I have a light poncho that I’ll bring, and a semi cute short kimono from last year. But I need to see your favoritest everest cover up. Tunic, kaftan, poncho, garbage bag, WHAT HAVE YOU. I need inspo. Beach-spo?
No no.
Long weekend plans? We’re headed to Fayetteville today for our annual Fourth of July family pool time fireworks bursting kid wrangling extravaganza! #mericuh
Also, I’m going to JAZZERCISE with Sarah. I’m irrationally excited. I’ll deeeefinitely snap us in our neon animal print leotards.
You think I’m kidding.
One last thing! If you’ve not yet entered the cuff giveaway on my IG page (^^ that photo, like three rows down on Instagram) you best dew eet! I’m picking a winner later today. While we’re on the road and the kids are hungry and crying and I’m desperately wanting to listen to Lilith Fair and Aaron’s ear holes are bleeding. I’ll pick then!
Have a fun and safe (<–gah, I’m such a mom) holiday weekend, errrone.
O SAY CAN YOU SEEEEEEEE BY THE DAWN’S EARLY LIIII- okay.
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