Friday Flotsam

FRI (black) DAY.

You guys, THE SAUERKRAUT.

Wait, have I even talked about it on here? Surely I have. Have I? Oh my gosh, I don’t think I have. Have I? I’m suuure I have. Wait, have I?

So, I made homemade sauerkraut for Thanksgiving yesterday, and I have to say: total success! I’ve been (over)snapping it on the Snapchats for the last TWO WEEKS (I am so incredibly sorry), and I can’t tell you how much I loved that you all got so into it! At least I feel like you did. Like, legit direct snaps from people I don’t know, “BEV, how is the CABBAGE?”

“TELL ME ABOUT THE CABBAGE.”

“SHOW ME THE CABBAGE.”

I will say, we did throw it in a pot for a quick boil right before we ate it, softening it just a taaaad more, giving it that familiar sauerkraut texture. But (!!), I did eat a tiny bite of it completely raw, right after I snapped saying I was scared to do it because I’m a giant sissy (and a walking contradiction), and I didn’t die of botulism!

However, my left clavicle hurts today?

. . . oh crap.

Tell me about your yesterday. Did you eat all the turkeys?

Actually, POLL: Did you eat the stuffing straight out of the bird’s hiney, or in a separate baking dish?

We ate it hiney-style. Which is an uncomfortable thing to say, but I kind of love it.

Tell me your favorite side dish! Of course, like an obnoxious tool, I made Bittman’s bread, and it was a hit. But everything was so super yummy. Green beans with mushrooms, sweet potato casserole with orange zest and candied pecans, gravy that was sent from the very face of God, the most succulent hiney-stuffing you ever did se- WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU OMG.

Freaking Amazon. You GUYS, you have no idea the back and forth I’ve had with them. Unless you follow me on Snapchat, then you do. Aaaand you’re most likely on the verge of flushing your phone down the toilet you are so sick of me and this dang saga. But!

Do you want the good news, or the bad news first?

I always hated when my parents would say that to me, because it’s like, well crap, my emotions are about to climb on the Shock Wave at Six Flags and do that loop-dy loop thing and get all barfy and have to clean up the linoleum floor. But of course I’d panic, “BAD, JUST TELL ME NOW SO I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE.”

And they’d go, “Well, the good news is, there is no bad news!” How that ever made sense we’ll never know.

Anyway, I’ll make it quick because I can sense you’re about to light a torch to your computer screen. After a few phone calls, emails, and live chats, the boots WERE going to arrive last Tuesday, then weren’t. Then they were going to arrive December 18th, then weren’t. Then they were never going to arrive because the boots didn’t exist. (I still can’t figure that one out) Then they were going to arrive on MONDAY, the 30th, which is what I was emotionally prepared for.

NOW, nooooow my order says they’re shipped (the boots that don’t exist) and are arriving TOMORROW. SATURDAY. I’M NOT THERE.

Which, I realize sounds super bratty, but I’ve actually come to terms with it, and am feeling moderately okay. Plus they gave me $15 off! We coo, Amazon. We coo.

You just want to see the dang boots, don’t you?

Speaking of ankle injuries, guess what I did yesterday for the first time since late AUGUST.

I ran! Actual miles, on an actual trail, in an actual park, with actual non-busted limbs!

Actually, do you want the good news, or the bad news first? Just kidding.

My ANKLE felt great, but now of course my right knee is bothering me. Is this where I need hashtag old? Because I’m prepared to do that. It’s not major pain, and it’s always been rather punky, so I’m going to keep running on it. But only if it’s good weather. And above 50 degrees. And a burrito waiting for me at home.

Weekend plans? My awesome sis-in-law and I are continuing an 8-year-day-after-Thanksgiving tradition by going to lunch at my fave restaurant in Fayetteville (maybe of all time actually), and sitting at the (underground) bar and just hangin’. Like, all day. With wine. And jazz music. It is theee best.

And it’s pouring rain here today so that just makes it extra cozy! Sure wish I had those freaking boots, AMAZON.

Actually, do you want the good news or the bad news first? Just kidding.