Friday Flotsam

FRAHDEEEE.

I baked a cake! Not because it’s Friday. It was my dad’s birthday last week, so I took my fears by the horn (frosting?) and got after it. They popped through town (my parents, not the frosting) for a few days on their way to Branson. However, I suspiciously think they mainly came to visit IKEA. We got an IKEA. Wait, is it just Ikea? Or IKEA? Hold on let me look.

Okay I looked and it’s IKEA. So, for once in my life I’m not actually screaming at you. YAY! I mean yay.

So, the cake. I haaaave to admit, I en . . . enj . . . ahem, enjoyed it? I KNOW, I KNOW. Let’s just clap and hug and cry and sing kumbaya together. And eat cake. It’s Martha’s, but instead of water I added coffee. OooooOOOOoooo. And I also sprinkled toasted coconut on the frosting. OOoooooooOOOOOOooo.

You guys, I have so much gas. Wait, no. I mean, I just got a new gas stove! Sorry for the confusion.

Except for the fact that I’m not at all and will never be sorry for the confusion.

I’ve had electric basically my entire life, so I’m thrilled to finally get gassy!

Aren’t I such a gas?

I’m done.

So this time next week I’ll be speaking at a local blog conference, Chopped. I say speaking, I’m on a panel discussing Instagram. So if you guys come to the conference, you have to ask me questions. I’m a little nervous, so let’s practice! Ask me anything. Anything about Instagram.

Wait! Let me reapply my deodorant real quick. Okay, I’m ready.

Hold on, my hair’s falling out of its topknot. Okaaaaay aaaaand ready.

I’m ready.

Hello?

You’re gone.

Speaking of IKEA (not yelling), I’ve decided that my grand new hobby is transferring all of our millions of white wire hangers to clean wooden hangers. Woo hoo! So far, I hate it. I don’t hate the hangers, oh no, they’re gorgeous. They can make a ratty holey black tank top from Goodwill look like something out of Gwyneth Paltrow’s closet. But, okay, I didn’t think this through. These hangers are like, three times thicker than my wire hangers. So the right side of my closet, the wooden hanger side, is very evenly spaced, clean, organized, and makes me flash my sorta pearly whites ear to ear.

But the left side of my closet, the wire hanger side, is JAM-PACKED AND SCRUNCHED UP WITH ORPHAN CLOTHING, DOGS HOWLING, CAR WRECKS, MARRIAGES AND LIVES FALLING APART. (that time I was yelling) I’m running out of room! I need to figure something out.

But I’m not going to put that on you right now.

Now that you’re completely stressed out, I’ll make it up to you by leaving you with some peaceful field flowers. I would, hands down, take native grasses (AKA weeds. Hi, remember?) and wild flowers over a bouquet of roses any day. They’re so free! A little messy. Spindly. Whimsical. With a few bugs on them. Oh no. Are they gross? Crap. I’ll get back to you on this.

Get yo’ weekend!