Friday Flotsam

Faaaarrrrrrraaaaaaayyyyyyyyddddddaaaaaaai.

I bought readers!

READERS. Glasses. Like Meryl Streep. I finally bought some.

Listen, I’m not going to bore you with how I lost a favorite pair of Warby Parkers two years ago at a winter basketball practice, and am criminally overdue for an eye exam and am in desperate need of a new pair of regular glasses with an updated subscr- PREscription and have complained about this for an embarrassingly long time yet still haven’t made any bit of active motion to get remotely anything done about it.

Until Saturday. My friend Anna and I were driving to an enormous sunflower field (see above) with our girls and I maaay have complained about it to her a time or 80. She said to me, “Just get readers. That will tide you over until you can get into the doc and back at Warby. Readers are the trick. Look at the brand Peepers, but just do the 1.00 strength.”

I pretended to know exactly what she meant by all of that. “Ahhhh right, yes.” And to be honest, I hadn’t fully understood what readers actually did. She explained they slightly magnify and crisp your up-close vision. Hi, need!

So a few days later as I doing some shopping for her birthday, I stumbled across an entire display case of Peepers! And I found a pair! Exactly in a 1.00 strength with a fun lightly chunky dark forest green frame!

And they work. But only with up-close vision like my book or my phone. Things closer to my face. Enter Meryl Streep. Now I can run my fingers through my hair and prop my glasses on top of my head or even CHEW ON THE END PIECES LIKE ANNA SAID.

Why yes I need a life, why do you ask.

Have your kids ever made up a word and you just believed them? Like it made sense when they said it, therefore it was? Totally.

When Will and Nat were itty bitty, they made up a word to describe breaking up a completed puzzle. Have I told you about this already? I might have. Excuse Peri if I have.

DUDDY. The word is duddy. Hahahahahahah! Duddy the puzzle. It makes such sense! Why does it make such sense?!

To this day, once a puzzle is completed in this household, we wait to see who’s in charge of duddying it. “Who’s gonna duddy the puzzle?!”

“Someone duddy this puzzle so I can use this table!“

“He duddied it last time, so you get to duddy it this time, CALM DOWN.”

Duddy. You can use it if you want.

I just feel like if hummingbirds are real, why aren’t mermaids?

Does this make sense to anyone else?

Hummingbirds. Every single time I look at them I wonder if my brain just made them up. I am uncontrollably fascinated with hummingbirds. The speed, the size, the faces, the cute, my age. They zip up just long enough for you to think you saw one. And then like magic they’re gone again. How are they real!

I need one to slow down and just hang out at our feeder for five full minutes so I can reaaaaaally look at her. I think I also read at one point that some hummingbirds are covered in teeny tiny jewels. Is that right or did I make that up, too?

And you’re telling me these magical birds are real but mermaids aren’t? Guys, I’m not so sure.

Weekend plans?

I’m playing tennis first thing this morning, followed by a few lil’ errands. We’re headed to the big plaza art fair tonight with friends to peruse the bustling streets with a can of bubbly and an overpriced french fry. Tomorrow we have a soccer game, followed by a fun murder mystery birthday party for a close 11 year-old friend. Gonna be extremely cute and ridiculously hilarious. Sunday it’s supposed to STORM ALL DAY and I cannot wait. I’ll finish Same as It Ever Was (could not love it more), and maybe put a scarf around my neck to complete my Meryl Streep readers vibe. Ya can’t hate it.

From this week:: Salmon Piccata Bowls! A quirky twist on a classic. I do hope you give it a go. Here’s the how-to video. And then we have an Apple, Kale and Turkey Panzanella Salad. A FAVORITE. Please make this happen. Here’s that video, too.

Peepers! Who knew.

Well . . . I mean Anna did.