Friday Flotsam

FRRRRRRRRRRRRRitz! ay! iday!

Our monarch caterpillar ATE ITS OWN HEAD OFF.

It did! Listen, this sounds wonky do, I know. But it happened. Literally happened. And I mean literally as in literally. We walked in to check on our one chrysalis and two baby caterpillars. (I forgot to tell you, we’re raising more. We are. I’m basically a barefoot farm grandma cat lady, but with caterpillars.) And the one chrysalis is just hanging out (ha) all psycho stunning in its beautiful jade armor with gold lining (like, how?). And then we search for the other two smaller caterpillars. (which I feel like should be spelled with two t’s. Catterpillar. Because it feels like kay-ter-pillars with just one. never mind.)

We find one, all good.

We find the other and its HEAD IS OFF ITS BODY. Two separate entire pieces of worm. Two. One, two. As in, you can see the squishy innards of the pillar and the head starting to decompose right in front of it. Well, we thought the other caterpillar decapitated the head because he was territorial of the milkweed. As we all are.

But.

You guys, WE WALK BACK IN TWENTY MINUTES LATER YES ALL CAPS NECESSARY AND THAT WORM HAS GROWN A BRAND NEW HEAD AND IS EATING ITS FIRST HEAD.

*blink blink* “What am I looking at right now? AARON GOOGLE THIS IMMEDIATELY.”

He did. And it happened. And I’m sorry, I was just not prepared for that yesterday.

You know what I was not prepared for? How much caterpillars crap all over the place. That is so much poop for such a tiny worm. They should be called shaterpillars. But with two t’s because it looks like shay-ter-pillar. Which SEE?- brings me back to my original point. Sha-ta-pillars. Ha.

Ate its own head. Nope. Eric Carle could have given us a little warning, is all I’m saying.

Since we’re on the subject, have any of you ever tried one of those resusable Chemex filters? Something about a sock?

Wait! Is it this one?

I think?

I’m sorry, how does it even work again? Don’t you feel like after one use it would look like a dirty diaper? I KNOW we rinse and ring it out to dry, but I can’t get past feeling like it would be a stained regretful nightmare the next time you use it. Does it really clean as thoroughly as it claims?

BECAUSE, this is what happened.

My trusty hardware store (the Ace in Ranch Mart. best hardware store there is. IYKYK. <–did I do that right?) used to sell a box of 100 Chemex filters for EIGHT BUCKS, dude. EIGHT. 8! Which meant I could snag some tapered mustard candles while I’m at it.

But for some reason (let’s blame Covid) they stopped carrying them in the store. “Can’t get them in,” they say. So now I have to order on Amazon, and they’re $15. Which isn’t nutso for 100, but still. My question though: am I buying six resuable socks for $15 only to get icked out by them at the same time as I would run out of normal filters?

Yes I have human friends, why do you ask?

It makes me uncomfortable when people say “bad boy.” Can we just not do that?

“Can’t get wait to get into this bad boy.” Ew.

“Take a look at this bad boy.” Rather not.

“How fast do you think this bad boy can go?” Pass.

That’s all I have to say about that.

OKAY, you guys. This cracked me up so much yesterday, and I have to tell you slash apologize for sounding like a high-brow pretentious turd.

I was making this recipe for dinner last night, and as I was skimming through the instructions, I noticed a typo. An autocorrect, whatever we’re calling it because I did not intentionally mean to say “DISREGARD THE MARINADE.” What am I, the Queen? Disregard? That was supposed to say “DISCARD.” “DISCARD THE MARINADE.”

You know what, just disregard that bacteria. We have no time for that nonsense today.

It’s discard. Did I make the edit? Of course not. Now it’s a part of me.

I read these posts over and over before hitting publish, yet they still leak through. I’ll have to read this bad boy with a fine tooth comb before I even come close to that button.

Weekend plans?

It’s going to be seven thousand degrees and some change, sooooo not much!

I’m making a huge list of all the little things to do around here, now that our remodel is complete. Like hang mirrors. Reorganize the book shelf. Put up outlet plates (no, Laura we still haven’t. I know). Fill a few smaller pots with plants. Giddy things like that.

Also, I’ve been on a no-booze “detox” since this Tuesday. Think I can make it til next Friday? Want to do it WITH me? Raise your hand? And by that I mean comment yuz or nerp.

From this week, in case ya missed it!::: Just one recipe because I’m JUST NOW getting back into the swing of work. But it’s a good one. Healthy, so naturally none of you will give an ish. But for those who need a little lighter, here’s a FANTASTIC Zucchini Sauté with Israeli Couscous, Tomatoes and Feta. Completely delicious. I’ve been snacking on it cold for lunch, and it’s so freaking good I could scream.

Okay so give it to me straight, these caffeine socks – am I buying these bad boys or what?