Friday Flotsam

FFFFFFreelahlulahlaylahyay.

Who do you think the ORIGINAL Team-Off was?

That made no sense. Let me start over.

You know how we’ve been saying team this or team that for a bazillion eons now?

Team Edward or Team Jacob.

Team Ben or Team Noel.

Team Aniston or Team Pitt. (<–remember?!?!)

Team Jess or Team Logan.

Team Dawson or Team Pacey.

Team Big or Team Aiden.

Who was the OG on this team situation? And why did we start this? Tell you what, I want to shake the hand of the person who did, is all I know. Maybe buy her a rosé. I bet it was a girl.

But let’s think back – when was THE FIRST TIME you heard Team this or Team that? Was it Saved By The Bell? I never said Team Zack or Team Slater. (Zack for life) 90210? I don’t recall Team Dylan or Team Brandon. (Dylan, all the way)

WHEN WAS IT? Team Noah or Team Moses? Ha! Just kidding.

And who was your favorite and most memorable team-off of all time?

Clearly I need a life.

(Team Jess. Obviously.)

Okay, bookies. It’s come to my recent attention that there is a hard line between those who dog ear, and those who bookmark. And it is an ugly crossover, so I’ve discovered.

Before starting my imaginary book club, Bev Books, I never paid attention (LIKE, AT ALL) to how you mark your place in a book. Stick something in it? Sure. Turn the page down? Yep.

Two times recently I was e-screamed at on Instagram for turning down a corner. Or – dog earring. I dog ear! So what! I don’t understand HOW THIS IS BAD. A) It’s my book. I bought it. End of story (<–hahaha). And B) I think dog earring is rather poetic! It shows the stops and pauses throughout the book. The journey of the reader. The story within the story! It doesn’t ruin anything, it’s SWEET, OKAY.

But hey, if you want to use a bookmark, I’m not going to think you are a heinous person. Dude, it’s your book, your life. I never even knew it was a THING TO JUDGE.

So of course, I must know – do you use a bookmark? Or do you dog ear?

WAIT – TEAM DOG EAR OR TEAM BOOKMARK?

(And while I feel like feeding the fire, do you remove the sleeve on hardbacks? Or leave it on?) TEAM REMOVE OR TEAM STAY?

I can relax on this.

Eye lash curlers!

I need one. I had one a mazillion eons ago, but it got clumpy and disease-y so I threw it out, burned it and howled at the moon. But I have a question.

ARE ALL EYE LASH CURLERS CREATED EQUAL? Or is there one that you recommend above all others that show up to work and curl like a madman? Because I feel like the one I had since the early ’90s was kind of lame. It didn’t curl Jack. Nor Jill. Haha! Never mind.

Tell me what you use. I know you hold the secrets.

And now, a word from our sponsor – my five-year old son, William Everett:

Me, “Who tooted?” Will, “Me! The toots are friends in my butt.”

Me, “Whatcha doing?” Will, “Oh, just letting my arm rest.”

“Mom, my coughs are hungry for medicine.”

You’re . . . welcome?

Weekend plans?

Ohhhh you know, it’s GONNA*@$%^#SNOWAGAIN. But at least the forecast has gone down from tanks to buckets. I can deal. And I DO see a 51-degree day in the forecast two weeks from now! THIS IS THE ONLY THING I HAVE JUST LET ME HAVE IT.

I finished Where the Crawdads Sing yesterday (seriously, best book I’ve read in a while! That ENDING, omg. Never saw it coming. Obsessed.), so to celebrate I’m making a southern-cooked meal this weekend. Fried chicken, turnip greens, cornbread, GRITS. Yes, girl.

(TEAM RIGGINS OR TEAM SARACEN?)