Friday Flotsam

FLEE LAA DEE DAA YEE YAA YAAH YAH YOO.

I need help! (<–You seriously didn’t see that coming?)

OKAY, I’m on the search for the perfect coral lip GLOSS.

Not stick.

Not balm.

Not tub.

GLOSS.

And don’t try to sell me on Lipsense. That is prison for the mouth. I need something with a vibrant pop, a perfect shimmer, and that stays on longer than five seconds, but doesn’t eat my face off.

Dudes be like, I’m out.

You know I’m all about that coral lip. But lately I’m craving something slightly more silky, with a tinge of sparkle, brightens up the face, washes my dishes and feeds the dog, yet super low maintenance. (“You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.” <–name that movie.)

Girls, whatchoo got?

REMEMBER MAGAZINES?

I used to be soooo into magazines. Back in the day when I had no jowls I would get DOMINO, Real Simple, Ready Made, Fine Cooking, Everyday Food and Cooking Light. I still get Cooking Light, except this last issue the cover said FAREWELL ISSUE.

Ummmm what? Farewell my butt. You can’t leave me like this, CL! (I call it CL.)

Do any of you know what happened?! Was it scandalous? Longtime coming? Obviously I read the letter from the editor, hoping to decode some hidden labyrinth of tangled secrets from the abyss, but I got nuttin’.

ALL TO SAY, I think I want to get back into magazines. I know for sure my mom got me Fine Cooking for Christmas (!), but are there any other must-have monthly reads that I desperately need in my life and eyes and brain? And it doesn’t necessarily have to be food focused. I’m totally open to anything minimal home or slow-living related.

KINFOLK. I FORGOT ABOUT KINFOLK. They might not even have magazines anymore. And it costs a pancreas per issue.

What are your monthly maga-reads?!

I’ve never said maga-reads in my life.

I liked it.

So listen.

You know I’m not a baker. But tomorrow I’m making gingerbread cookies for a party on Sunday, (and a blog post next Tuesday!), and I need a good, SIMPLE gingerbread cookie recipe. Fool and fail proof. FOR CHALLENGED PEOPLE LIKE ME.

The thing is, I’m going to show you a way to decorate the cookies the way people who don’t decorate cookies decorate. Know what I mean, Vern?

So send me a simple gingerbread cookie recipe, and I’ll totally credit you next week! You can email me, leave it in the comments, Insta-message me, write it on the back of a $50 dollar bill, whatever works.

Do we gotta deal? (<–I’m saying that like Marlon Brando right now.)

What are you watching on Netflix right now!?

I feel like they’re (it’s?) releasing soooo much this month. Like Ellen DeGeneres has a stand-up special that’s coming out on the 18th and I’m peeing my life excited for that.

But what else should I be watching? The only thing regular that I’ve got going in my life is Homicide Hunter (with Detective Joe Kenda) and it’s so addicting. He cracks me up so hard with his, “Well my my MY.”

Oh! I’m also trying to get through The Nineties. Because you know my nostalgia for that decade and all things Cranberries and Lilith and Monica Lewinsky’s lipstick.

What should I start next?!

goodbye.

Weekend plans?

This morning Aaron and I are dropping the kids off at school and going to have our annual Christmastime cappuccino! I say annual, it’s our second annual Christmastime cappuccino, which basically makes it a longtime tradition. #math

But it’s that ONE MORNING during December two times now that we carve out a few hours to go sit in a cozy cafe and sip something foamy and caffeinated. And then head to Habitat Restore so that we can dig through buckets and buckets of vintage brass goodies to take home and Parisian up our crib.

WHICH REMINDS ME, I c a n n o t w a i t to show you our basement. I have a few more tiny things to knock off the joosh list, then I’ll show you, omg.

WAIT SHOULD I ORDER LEWINSKY’S LIPSTICK?