F r I d AAAAAAAAAAA y.
I think I’m getting into neck yoga.
IT IS A THING, STOP.
I feel like the moment my body turned 40, it sent a private DM to Elli (the goddess of old age in Greek mythology) with the subject heading “URGENT!” and a detailed set of instructions with a strand of angry face emojis, plotting out the rapid deterioration of my neck.
Actually, don’t judge the status of my neck based on a certain IG story from the other night, with me holding a newborn. I was allergic to something in the air that day, and my neck was red and inflamed and itchy and looked like the plague.
Neck yoga. I’m getting into it. I found this video the other morning, during one of my routine anxiety spirals, and I feel like I might be getting a second chance at life. This is so happening.
Do you do neck yoga? Do you use anything particular on your neck, or are you young and youthful with supple skin and full of stupid collagen?
I’m going to say neck yoga one more time.
Neck yoga.
I have an update on my Gilmore Girls teeeeeee!
I haven’t made it yet.
But! I am this weekend. My iron-on letters arrived. I bought a simple gray t-shirt, but I think I might get out today and try to thrift one that’s a few shades darker. Not an entire 50 shades of gray darker, but more like 17 shades. Or six.
AND, I narrowed down my slogan. Not to be confused with Logan.
Oh! Update on where I am. (cue opening music) (also, spoilers ahead)
Dean basically just broke up with Rory for good. Yaaaaaaay! I was really hating his hair and face and voice. She was at that fancy Yale party at her G-rents’ house, looking straight up Breakfast at Tiffany’s, with her chic bun, tiny tiara and long smooth neck (curses!). Logan and his buds were there, and he’s put on his royal “big brother” face with her. Being her source of comfort, post fresh breakup. Calling her ACE. I hate that, by the way. Who does he think she is exactly? Snoopy with flight goggles, sitting on top of her doghouse, soaring around imaginary skies, pretending she’s a war hero? Get a new nickname, SLOGAN.
I also really hate Logan’s hair. It’s way too d-bag spiky right now. Too Sugar Ray. Terrible. Will this change in coming seasons? Hair is important, you know! Says a lot about a person. That and shoes. And dental floss brands.
Anyway, I’m making the shirt this weekend, so I’ll get it on the Snaps and Stories. I really hope it works out for me. Considering how my last DIY attempt turned out, I might need to have some backup on hand. And a priest. And wine.
I need help!
Yes, more.
Give me your best indoor-activity ideas. Our temperatures have plummeted in the last day or so, and I’m a giant sissy in cold air, and my kids are going bonkers L O C O right now. We water color, we play with play doh, we have non-stop Christmas movies on, yadda yadda. But I need mooooooooreeeaaaaaaaa.
Oh, also! What are your fave kid Christmas movies? We’ve done all the classics over and over, but I feel like I’m forgetting mildly life changing and semi-current. Give me your list. I’m desperate.
“I’m desperate!” Name that movie.
Actually, never mind, let’s do this one.
“…He was okay, ya know. After six, seven weeks, came around, started talking again.”
On a scale from 1 to 10, where do we stand with Elf on the Shelf?
Weekend plans? I have a t o n of wrapping to do. Also some rapping, but I won’t drag you into that.
We’re going to try and get out tomorrow with the kids to Christmas shop! I do 80% online, but there’s something so charming (my words, not Aaron’s) about getting out in the holiday bustle of things just long enough to not resent your existence. All the festive muuuusic, and the spaaaarkle, and the LONG TIGHT NECKS ON YOUNG LADIES. I’ll settle down. Maybe I’ll take a bath in vegetable glycerin and see where that gets me.
I just noticed this is my 100th edition of Friday Flotsam! Well gosh boppy, happy Flotsiversary to you! Also, I’m terribly sorry.
#neckyoga
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