Friday Flotsam

By Bev Weidner on March 11, 2016 in Friday Flotsam

F F F F F F R R R R R iday.

Okay, I have to tell you about my dream last night.

Wait, don’t go!

I was on my flight to Europe, but it wasn’t my flight to Europe, you know? It was this upcoming trip combined with a girl trip to Cabo that I’m taking later this summer. But it wasn’t even my girlfriends! It was like, the girl cast from Napoleon Dynamite. You know, Summer Wheatly and that crew. Side ponytails and everything.

So we were boarding the plane and it was H U G E. Bigger than any plane I’ve ever SEEN. Since I’ve never taken an international flight before, I only have the movies to reference, in regards to how spacious the planes are. Well, movies and this disturbing show called Air Disasters that we’re obsessed with, but I can’t even talk about that right now because I’m already a paranoid freak about the state of these planes and the flights and my life. “Something is wrong with the left phalange!”

So we boarded the plane, and the bottom floor was completely open, with recliners and treadmills and massage therapists. ???!!! AND, there was this woman standing up on this overhanging loft thing waving at us and making crepes. I think she had a wig on. And a unibrow?

Once we got situated we tried to decide what movie we wanted to watch on the flight. I was like, “LADIES, we really need to sleep. Jet lag is gonna kick us in the face if we don’t rest now.” And they go, “Shut UP, Bev. We want to watch MOVIES and DRINK MIXED DRINKS.”

I said, “Suit yourself, but if you do you’re going to be a bloated Shamu disaster in photos once we land.”

Aren’t I so nice?

And then we all piled into this big recliner while the unibrow crepe lady took a picture of us for Instagram. And Summer Wheatly elbowed me in the ribs.

THE END.

Mawms, I need advice. (yes, again.)

We’re facing (hahaha! sorry.) a new era/slash crisis in toddlerdom. I think my kids are too big for their back-facing car seats. Can you even believe we’ve kept them in those things for this long!? I obey the law, man.

Their legs are like, way up the back of the seat and I can barely buckle them in anymore. I gotta get ’em turned around! But I haven’t even started researching brands or anything, and I keep putting it off because my hair needs to be washed. You know.

What are your fave brands? I want simple and sleek, but nothing that costs 175 million dollars per seat. Have you had good luck with anything in particular? I know I should just do my own research, but you know how I depend on your guiding light through this life.

Kiss kiss!

That was weird. I won’t do that again.

Okay, I have a rather uncomfortable question to ask you all, but I’m a little nervous about the response. It’s a tender subject, and I don’t take these matters lightly. So, I’ll just ask. I’ll just put this out there for anyone to share their experience.

Here goes…

Don’t hate me…

Please understand…

Wheeeeere do we stand on spray tans?

BECAUSE I KIND OF WANT ONE. Ugh! Is that gross? Do they still exist? Are they bad? Are they scary? Are they toxic? Will I die? Do they work? Will I look like an Oompa Loompa? I mean, we all know what happened to poor Ross Geller.

Because hi, you see my head shot to the left? I’m basically transparent. I’m afraid no one can see me. Would it look weird to be tan on my trip? Not like, Magna-from-Something-About-Mary tan, but just a leeettle sun-kissed. And I’m talking about the mist thing, where you walk in and turn around.

Talk me out of it.

Wait! Talk me into it.

Wait! Talk me out of it.

Wait!

What book should I read on the plane!?

Weekend plans? This morning I’m devoting to getting the insides of my house in good shape, and then once the babes go down at noon, we’re TACKLING the yards. Raking, bagging, rippin’ down the dead, trimming rose bushes, tilling the beds, visualizing what goes in pots, making sure the patio lights work, crankin’ up the tunes (<–gross). And theeeeeen a fat pinot gris in the late afternoon. 70 degrees today, you guys. S e v e n t y.

And then after that, gonna use this free burrito coupon in the mail from Chipotle. Those coupons make the world go ’round. I speak the truth on this.

Also, BEESWAX.

You’re googling Magna from Something About Mary, aren’t you?

car seats, friday flotsam, plane dream, spray tans, unibrow crepe lady

Easy Shredded Chicken Curry

Baked Cod with Potatoes and Asparagus

34 Responses to Friday Flotsam

Kaitlin March 11, 2016 at 7:18 am #

SPRAY TANS ARE THE BEST! Get it 24 hours before the event you want to look bronzy for. Don't shower for like 12 hours after you get it...you'll be stinky for a little but after the first shower, BAM you've got hot bod.
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Morgan March 11, 2016 at 7:39 am #

Spray tans are cool if you do the right kind. DO NOT do a booth spray tan. I used to give spray tans for a company in high school and it was done by hand with an airbrush. It's much more natural looking. While I gave spray tans when I was 17, I never had one until I was 24. I was convinced by a girl at a big tanning company to do it for New Years. I did the booth. Not only was my skin really sensitive to the stuff, I was called Snookie all night (cool friends) AND it started fading in weird spots so i looked like a damn giraffe. Moral of the story, go to a place where a person does it with an air brush. Shower and exfoliate before hand but do not put on any lotions or oils. And be prepared to not shower or sweat heavily for AT LEAST 24 hours to let it sink in. As for books, I came upon this book The Secrets of the Happy Families and it is WONDERFUL. And it's not a typical self help book with lots of opinions. It's a hot dad and his funny and unique research into all things household. Also, I could read God Shaped Hole once a month, every month. Quick, easy read and really amazing.
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KissTheChef March 11, 2016 at 7:50 am #

Spray tans are the bomb. I don't let them spray my face, I use a tanning moisturizer for that. Wear really loose clothing, flip flops, a ponytail, and no bra - if you can get away with it, until it dries. I take baby powder in with me to dust anything that rubs. Under arms, back of knees, etc. That way, you don't rub off any of the tan. Always start with the lighter shade until you think that you are at the right color. It's weird to go to the darker shade on the first go round. Also, don't rub with a towel when you get out of the shower. Moisturize all over at least twice a day to make it last. Don't scrub anything except the bottom of your feet while in the shower until you are ready to take it off. Then, scrub hard everywhere!!!
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- Andrea March 11, 2016 at 8:14 am #
  
  I went with the Britax marathon click tight. It was sort of expensive, it's super heavy and huge, the straps do not extend enough (my kid is tiny too), there's already been a recall regarding the shoulder strap mechanism, and the side panel detached after my 6 year old tugged it a little. They immediately replaced the seat, but I'm a little skeptical of its durability. I don't have a recommendation on what you should buy, but I wouldn't advise dropping $300+ (x2!) on the marathon.
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Sarah March 11, 2016 at 8:43 am #

I swear by spray tans! Especially for a big event/trip. Definitely go somewhere where they spray you. Much more even and natural looking!
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Kelly March 11, 2016 at 9:26 am #

We went with the Graco 4ever which lasts 10 years and is an all-in-one carseat...aka the last one you'll ever need. I really love it. We had a Chicco Keyfit for the infant seat and I love it because it was super easy to use, so I wanted something just as simple. The 4ever is VERY easy! It's definitely an investment though (~$250-300/seat). I joined a Facebook group called "Car Seat Deals". Folks post the car seat they want and the admins tell you the place/way to get the best deal at that time. After all was said and done I think I paid $225/seat. You're not going to believe how happy your kiddos will be - they can see so much more!
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Anonymous March 11, 2016 at 9:36 am #

100% do not go to a booth spray tan. Only do airbrush (a human sprays you) and if you want it to look as natural as possible, do it two days before an event or trip. It lasts about 7 days depending on how much you exfoliate. I just got my first one ever last weekend for a wedding and I'm hooked! Good luck!
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Jill March 11, 2016 at 10:26 am #

We went with this Peg Perego! http://m.albeebaby.com/peg-perego-primo-viaggio-5-65-sip-convertible-panama.html We bought it several years back for our daughter and love it so much we bought another set for our son. The lighter color is so nice for hot Arkansas summers! Very easy install and sits high up for kids to see out. As for the spray tan...um yes! Exfoliate the day before really well and wear lose clothing when you go to have it done. It's a little stinky after, but well worth it for the next week or two.
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Erin March 11, 2016 at 10:29 am #

Best car seat is Diono. They are stupid expensive, but they don't expire for 10 years (awesome crash test ratings and beastly) and you'll never need a booster. Plus they don't absorb pee like other car seats with foam (have you potty trained yet? This is kinda a huge deal to me).
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Kristan March 11, 2016 at 10:32 am #

Can't help with the spray tan question, as I've never had one. But as far as forward-facing car seats go: my husband and I really like Chicco brand. Our ten month old is in the Chicco Next Click, but it's a convertible seat so may not be what you're looking for. My sister uses a Britax seat for my nephew and really likes it. Not sure if the specific name for it but it's at least a brand recommendation.
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Mandi March 11, 2016 at 10:35 am #

We LOVE our Chicco Key fit! It's sturdy and padded, so it seems like it's comfortable too!
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Rachel March 11, 2016 at 10:47 am #

I second what everyone else says about spray tans, have a real live human spray you, do not enter one of those booths! They'll contour all of the right places and make you look fabulous, not like an Oompa Loompa.
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Rachel March 11, 2016 at 10:49 am #

Two Friends references in one post?!? <3 Spray tans are great. Just don't count Mississippily.
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Sarah Beth March 11, 2016 at 11:03 am #

Like everyone else said Spray Tans are THE BEST!!!! And you can totally get sprayed with all natural ingredients and not look all orange. The kind i even get makes my skin so silky smooth and moisturized, it's the best thing ever! Do it :)
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- Kelly March 11, 2016 at 11:09 am #
  
  I second the Diono car seats. They are nice and narrow too if you need a third car seat for any reason. ;)
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Jenny March 11, 2016 at 11:06 am #

We liked the graco nautilus. It will be the last seat you have to buy. It's a 5 pt harness, then transitions to all the stages after that!
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Aunika E Olsen March 11, 2016 at 11:20 am #

Spray tans are, although often very made fun of, wonderful! You have to keep them on for a few hours afterward (something to plan for) but other than that they're quite the no-hassle experience. The workers at the spray tan place should be able to advise how dark and which color of spray tan based on your complexion and if they can't (but they should be able to...I mean it's they're job) or you're super worried about oompa loompa face you can always just start fairly light and work your way a little darker. Anyway. I say go for it! -a friendly lover of a good tan, no matter the way it got there
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Laura March 11, 2016 at 11:23 am #

We tried a few different forward facing car seats and the one we've been happiest with is the Diono. They aren't cheap (especially if you need two) but we've loved ours'. Since it will hold a child up to 100 lbs, you won't have to buy another car seat unless you just want to. We've eventually transitioned to a backless booster for our oldest son just because its easy to move between cars but we'll likely keep our youngest in the Diono as long as he'll tolerate it. http://www.albeebaby.com/diono-radian-r100-convertible-car-seat-shadow.html?utm_medium=shoppingengine&utm_source=shoppingdotcom&gdftrk=gdfV21377_a_7c623_a_7c12148_a_7c16620&gclid=CjwKEAiA9om3BRDpzvihsdGnhTwSJAAkSewLDoUAQPGgTdue-SI7qWk3qGyZLYfEycIl5znW9EaHGxoCacjw_wcB
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Carly March 11, 2016 at 11:31 am #

I love spray tans, definitely go with an airbrush (someone who sprays you) over a booth, and start with a light shade. The more you spend usually the better they are (color, smell). I don't love them on trips because it smells weird for a day or 2 and then wears off kind of funny, and when you're not at home it's kind of annoying. They look great for a few days though!
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Natalie March 11, 2016 at 11:47 am #

On the topic of car seats, while it sounds like you've made the decision to have your children ride forward facing, it's recommended to keep them rear facing for "as long as possible", until the age of 3. This is a great website for tips to keeping your children safe in a car http://www.safercar.gov/parents/CarSeats/Right-Car-Seat-Age-Size.htm On the note of car seat brands, we use Chicco Nextfit. I really like it because it is very user friendly, easy to install AND the cover zips off...completely necessary. http://www.chiccousa.com/nextfit/
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Sara March 11, 2016 at 1:02 pm #

Re:car seats, your kiddos are probably past the height limit on the infant seat, but you prob want to try to rear face as long as you can (pain, I know) even in the convertible seat. Supposed to be like 8,000% safer or something. I've got twins and had to convert early because of height, so we went with clerk foonf. Funny name, great, streamlined seat. (Not cheap ... But of anything I've spent cash on for the twins I figure car seat safety is worth it.) I don't drive a massive car, so needed something that would allow me to sit in between them in back seat of needed. (You know, to keep them awake during a drive so they don't blow up a nap later.) I can also slide my driver and passenger seats back without the car seat jamming things up. Not cheap, but awesome.
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Brittany | Words Like Honeycomb March 11, 2016 at 1:09 pm #

Spray tan: MUST get it sprayed by a human. It will be an incredibly awkward experience, but you have had kids...so that helps and go QUALITY not like some janky place...it will show -just ask me. oh and don't let your teenage sister do it...not that I have experience or anything....0_0 -and I also asked for a sun-kissed glow...I mean...if it had actually happened...and now I must direct you back to >>>>>QUALITY<<<<< I must insist. WOAH did all of America get the chipotle coupon?? We got them and we live in middle GA...they must be DESPERATE...I guess just me and the hubs cant keep them in business around here. Although my bank account would say otherwise.
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christy March 11, 2016 at 3:02 pm #

GRACO NAUTILUS FOR THE WIN!!!!!!! Awesome ratings. Kid loves it. Not crazy pricey. Nice cubbies for crackers to get stuck in.
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kayla March 11, 2016 at 5:35 pm #

I always think about needing a spray tan. Never got one because I'm probably more transparent than you/everyone on earth. Super scared of coming out pure orange. Except now I want a spray tan 10x more since all these comments say airbrush by hand will result in...not orange.
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sara kind March 11, 2016 at 6:26 pm #

Don't plan on reading on the flight! Eat dinner, drink wine, and GO T O SLEEP !!! Ive been to Europe a LOT, believe me!!!
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- Bev Weidner March 12, 2016 at 7:06 am #
  
  This is good advice, thaaaaank you! (especially the wine part)
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Jessie March 11, 2016 at 7:49 pm #

Funny you ask because I just got one a few days ago for a trial run for my wedding! I am super pale, like pale enough that when i worked at a surf camp I wore zinc on my face all day and I still got a huge blister from the sun on my cheek. So I agreed to try a spray tan. (My roommate convinced me) It was a booth tan. it was $16. And it seriously made me feel SO TAN!!! Like my face doesn't really ever tan so the fact that it looked tan was just awesome! I would suggest asking around to friends who know a good place and to choose the lowest skin tone they offered. Don't think "oh I'll just try a shade darker to make sure it shows up." It will show up. I got mine done on a Friday at 5, by 10 it was definitely noticeable. By the next morning it looked good. By Sunday it looked really naturally. Also take the advice of the people at the tanning place. Like when they say shower 4-6 hours later, do it, because they know how their product works best. But also don't let them rip you off. They tried to get us to buy a primer for another 6$ and we were like ehhhhhhh no thanks.
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Mom24_4evermom March 11, 2016 at 8:24 pm #

I will say that I think the idea of a car seat that lasts 9-10 years is not as practical as it sounds. Kids are gross. Their foods/drink/bodies stain and that seat will look pretty yucky in 2-4 years and you'll most likely be happy to chuck it and purchase boosters. Just my opinion.
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Caitlin March 11, 2016 at 10:54 pm #

I know nothing about spray tans or car seats, so I'll just recommend reading "The Royal We" by the Fug Girls and be on my way. It's really long, but really addicting. As in, I read every day for about a week, then I stayed up til like 2am on a work night to finish the thing because I couldn't put it down, and then I was sad it was over.
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Tori March 12, 2016 at 6:14 am #

A great post and the kiddos are so adorables!!!!
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Katie March 12, 2016 at 11:02 am #

Oh no! I hope your kiddos aren't still in infant seats ... they are probably well past the height limit. But not to worry, there are lots of great options for the next step up. See which baby stores around you will help you try them out in your car. Most important thing about a carseat is that it can fit in your ride! Some are super bulky and a pain.
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Jackie March 14, 2016 at 6:51 pm #

OMG...just found you looking for a pork chop recipe...you are hilarious! love the way you write. never had a spray tan, naturally brown and my daughter just turned 20! Sorry no help whatsoever but you made me LOL! Rock on sista!
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Becca March 14, 2016 at 8:15 pm #

We just got back from a cruise (hence why this comment is late) but I read We Were (are? I can't remember) Liars in like two days and it was amazing! There's a crazy twist that I never saw coming, so! Good! I also love reading books that take place where Im traveling, so maybe something in that vein? Have so much fun!!!
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HC March 21, 2016 at 11:24 am #

Your children are so lovely. (So is that pizza. So are you.) Did you get the spray tan?? I can't wait to read about your European adventures.
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34 Responses to Friday Flotsam

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