Friday Flotsam

friday. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! friday. ??????????????? friday. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I have to tell you my dream before I forget. You know how some people record their dreams on little cassette players or whatever? I don’t do that. I tell you! You’re like, “Are you sure this is necessary?”

So, AGAIN I was on some school campus, but this time it was an elementary school. Not sure what the message is saying there. It was after school and I was hanging out with Taylor Swift. But like, I was trying to give her this huge stack of white plates that I had. I was like, “TAYLOR SWIFT, take some of these plates.” And she was like, “BEV, I don’t need those plates. I’m cool. You keep them.” I started to get a tad frustrated that Taylor Swift wouldn’t accept my plate offer, when suddenly, these three trees behind me burst into flames. Like, spontaneous tree combustion. All on their own. I didn’t touch them. But somehow I was worried that everyone would think it was my fault.

So then, the entire school (even the kids) had some meeting in the auditorium, but instead of attending, I ducked out and walked the halls all alone because I was so stressed about the burning trees. HAD I DONE IT? There’s no way. No way, dude.

But like a weirdo, I walked back to my classroom (was I seriously a teacher? God help us all.) and came clean to Will Ferrell that I probably had something to do with the burning trees. And Will Ferrell pointed at me and goes, “I KNEW IT WAS YOU.” – with his face all scrunched up. I started crying. I tried explaining the whole thing about Taylor Swift not accepting my stack of white plates and how the trees blew up on their own, but he didn’t believe me. He kept pacing back the forth with his hands on his face. He’s tall, you guys.

I was like, “WILL FERRELL, I don’t have a lighter! I don’t have matches! All I had was a stack of white plates for Taylor Swift, but she didn’t want them. It wasn’t my fault!”

And then we both walked over to the window to check on the trees, and they were okay.

The end.

I think my dream is trying to tell me that I need some new white plates, don’t you think?

I’ve got some suuuuuper fun news! By the way, this ^^^ isn’t posed. I opened the door and stuck my phone out to catch him in the moment before he had the chance to tell me to stop taking a photo of him. Isn’t he cute? Yes that is a pink face mask.

Anyway, SUPER PROUD to announce that my husband, DIY guru, maker of all things cool and wood, got accepted into the Strawberry Swing Indie Craft Show this spring! (this is my applause card) Woo hoo! 

As in, he’ll have his very own booth with all his stunning wood furniture and home goods. His own booth! For TWO DAYS. The dates are April 29th and May 1st, so if you live in Kansas City, you should definitely SWING by. Hahahah! Get it? Swing by? Strawberry Swi- right.

Aaron has worked incredibly hard to get to this point, and I’m just beaming with wifey pride for him. Come visit us at his booth! I already know what I’m going to wear.

But if you can’t wait that long, he’s got a TON of beautiful new items in his Etsy shop, so definitely go peep that! Peep and Purchase. <–it’s a thing.

I had warts on my lip as a child.

Yes this blog post is going downhill from this point on.

Did you ever have warts? I feel like you never hear about warts anymore. Where did all the warts go!? They were super popular in the 1980s. Everyone had them! They were the thing.

I still have three little scars on my upper lip, because they were taken off in the ’80s, and I’m pretty sure all they used was a chainsaw and a dirty rope. I remember the EXACT DAY we drove to the doctor to have them removed. I wore a little gray windbreaker.

My little sister was there, and she was so terrified during the chainsaw surgery that she stood in the corner, turned away from my tortured body on the surgical table. THANKS, BARBARA.

And THEN a little later in life a little wart sprung up right inside my left nostril. But my mom used Compound W (remember Compound W? hahahaha!) on it and we FROZE that b off. I remember one day it just flicked off, like a tiny boog. But then it came back, so we froze it off again.

Are you super over this right now?

So this is funny (slash: you’re going to x out in approximately 24 seconds.) Each of our chillens has a different way of telling us they’ve got the apocalypse in their diapers. For instance, Nat will point her little finger up in the air and say, “bad poop!”

But Will, he’ll almost sing the words “poo pooooo”, but it sounds exactly like “CUCKOO.”

So naturally, every time he says, “poo poooooo”, Aaron and I sing, “There’s a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall, and the bells in the steeple too. And up in the nursery an absurd little turd is popping out to say “poo pooooo” “POO POOOOOOOO” “poo poooo”
“POO POOOOOO.” (name that movie)

*This is how you survive toddler years, you guys.

Weekend plans?! It is going to be 60 (!) degrees today, so after we wrap our workday at 3pm, we’re headed out for a park adventure! (also known as: booze cruise for mama)

Oh! I’ve got a new music share. I just heard of these dudes two days ago because they were on Ellen. (yes, I watch Ellen. remember the vests?) Anyway, they’re called Bob Moses and they are EXACTLY what I’m craving in my life right now. Think: Coldplay meets Seal meets house music. Like, electronic, but not the kind that makes you stabby after 38 seconds. It’s super vibey, while still maintaining actual vocal melodies that you can grasp. They’re GOOD. Like, really really good. Go listen to “Tearing Me Up” and turn that ish up. And then come back and tell me what you think!

I wonder if I still have any Compound W…