Friday Flotsam

I think I’m starting a new series! I’ve been playing around with these Friday posts for about three weeks now, and mama digs.

Ohhh good, within five seconds I made the douchiest decision and spoke in third person. I’m not rightly sure it’s possible to recover from this, but I’ll give her a go.

So last weekend I was weeding the side of the house and I found all these pretty little delicate white flowers. Aren’t they lovely? I think they’re a rare tropical flower species called Backyardius Weedium. I looked it up. So I brought a bunch in and put them in vases for our viewing plezhuh. Sure, we’ve been sneezing and coughing and wiping our flooded eyeballs for a week now, but I’m SURE it’s not these flowers. I’m sure it’s not. It is? It is.

White pumpies will forever be my favorite pumpies.

I hope you’ll someday forgive me for saying pumpies once, twice, three times . . . a pumpy.

How about, I already bought Natalie’s birthday gift. Their birthdays aren’t until JANUARY. That’s how ridiculous I am. But when you see something you love (like this tiny purse made from a Mexican blanket stoooop) you have to jump on it. Just like that one time in college you jumped on a bottle of Elmer’s glue and rubbed it all over your face at a party, let it dry and walked up to the dude that wouldn’t stop bothering you, smiled three inches from his face, as yours became an earthquake, only to realize that you walked up to the wrong dude and instead smiled your gluey earthquake face to the dude you were actually crushing on. #truestory

I do realize she’ll not know what to do with a purse. Probably for at least another year. Or four. But hello, can you imagine this little thing dangling from all her arm rolls?! You’re welcome, UTERUS.

Last weekend we went out for crepes. Although all you can see in this photo is a parked white SUV. Ugh. Wasn’t that the most compelling story?

Oh! I roasted some figs a couple of weeks ago. Sweet baby hamsters. This is what you do – cut a little X in the tops of a few fresh figs. Stick some crumbled gorgonzola down in each one. Roast them for about 10 minutes. Stick them on a little cutting board. Drizzle with honey. Garnish with freshly chopped rosemary. Dump them all into your face at once. Slip into a most blissful cardiac arrest. Repeat.

“Ahhhh yeeees. I’m getting the letter J. And the color green. Yeeees, it’s clear now. I’m sensing that you’re seething with jealousy of my luscious golden locks. One day, sweet child, you shall be blessed. Until then, HAHAHA AH A HAH AH A.”

One last thing! I wrote a little piece on What To Expect on coming up with your bebe’s first Halloween costume. Basically, this whole thing leads me to drink. Join me?

Happy weekending!