Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrieeeedieeeeee.

Let’s play a game! This is called: Tell Me What Movie Moment Traumatized You as a Kid.

I’ll go first because we all know the obvious, if you’re a Gen X kid. The moment that changed everything. And that was Artax in the quick sand in NeverEnding Story. Hands down, saddest thing ever. “ARTAAAAAAX”. Awful! Scarred for life! By the way, what ever happened to quick sand? We were all sooo terrified of it in the ’80s and I feel like that was probably unnecessary.

But listen, I have another one. And this one is going to knock your fragile emotions right out of your rib cage. Sorry to do this to you, but it was in Man in the Moon when young Jason London (swoon) fell off his tractor when he tried to grab his hat off that limb and the tractor RAN OVER HIM. And his mom found him. And then baby Reese Witherspoon found her hugging and crying over him and he was all bloody and it was just terrible! Remember that? Traumatized forever! We all thought our teen boyfriends were going to get chopped up by a tractor in the middle of a field. Don’t tell me you didn’t think that, too. Horrible.

I have one more. If you can rightly take it.

And that was the moment in Slugs (1988) when the man puts on his gardening glove in the greenhouse (which was incredible and I wanted it) and there’s a nasty poisonous (venomous?) SLUG in it and it’s eating his hand and he has to chop off his own hand!!! Do you remember this? Horrific! This is why Gen X is so messed up slash super tough. We witnessed these movie moments as children to prepare us for today.

Okay your turn. Tell me what movie moment completely effed you up as a youngin.

Speaking of childhood, I put pet milk in my coffee this morning and I was immediately back in 1982.

To clarify, not my pet’s milk. But Pet Milk. Like, evaporated milk. Not condensed milk, but evaporated. Ivory in color, sweet in taste. Don’t ask me what makes it evaporated, but if you don’t take the little can and poke a tiny hole with a paring knife in one side of the lid, wiggle it, and then another one of the opposite side of the lid for airflow, you’re not a true child of the eighties. This is what my mom did, and did I question it? Nope.

Really though, quick sand. Like where did we think we were going to encounter it?

Did you see Sarah McLachlan’s putting out a new album? Just going to let that soak in.

Weekend plans?

We get the kids tomorrow morning! It’s been a wildly productive week, but oh man do I ache for those little shits. Already can’t wait to hear them fight on the drive home over who gets to tell what stories first.

Today I plan to hit a couple of estate sales (and maybe make it a reel?) and hunt down two more books for my summer pile. Meeting up with a friend tonight to visit another friend who had major surgery and is bidridden for a while. We’ll cheer her up! Finishing One Golden Summer and that’s truly about it. Wrap up Dave Barry’s book on Turning 50 for Aaron on Father’s Day. Bahahahaha. (he’s not 50, but close enough.)

I do have a mixtape for you! Give it some ear love, will ya?

Okay, traumatic movie moments. Spill it!