Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrit’s SUMMER. How.

You guys, I need help.

(shocker!)

Tell me how I can lighten my hair, mainly my bangs, but for like five pennies. (also did you see that next year the US is going to stop making pennies?! Natalie and I saw that news on IG last night before bed and both our jaws dropped. Why we were shocked I have no idea, but we looked at each other wide-eyed and speechless. Lives are needed.)

But I need to lighten my bangs and fast. What I love about my hair is its little hints and pieces of blonde here and there. It’s darkened over the last year (because I haven’t seen my stylist in forever but it’s a billion dollars so we’re natural over here), but I don’t plan on doing a full thing anytime soon. But it’s my BANGS, yew gahs. They’re killing me.

Lemon? Lime? Baking soda and the tears from an unemployment check? What in the Practical Magic can I whip up in a little apothecary amber jar and drip drop up there so I can even out the subtle highlights and not look so dumpster.

I know you all have tricks and secrets. Spilleth.

This is the last day of school and you know what . . . I don’t have to struggle with cut sandwiches anymore.

I know you get me. The feeling of dread when you’ve just cut a sandwich in half (on the diagonal or heads are off), and you have to somehow get that thing in a little baggie. And even if the baggie is comfortably bigger than the sandwich, it’s still a whole fiasco. If there’s lettuce involved – forget it. Slip and slide situation. If the baggie is only a tad bigger than the sandwich – doomed. Shit is crammed and edges are jacked and the day is just done.

Is there a way to fix this, we ask?

Yes.

School ends.

I feel great, why do you ask!

Weekend plans?

Our summer officially begins today and I cannot wrap my head around it. You know we have a BIRD, right? And I’m saying this right now so that we have record of it – it goes this weekend. It flys away. If you’ve followed my stories, you know that we had a terrible storm on Monday. The kids and Aaron went on a walk to survey the damage (we’re all good), but they found a nearly-dead baby bird on the sidewalk, clearly thrown from his nest from waaaaaaay up why. It was flattened from the rain and so cold, the little thing. So of course they (Nat) brought it back and immediately went into Emergency Room Nurse Panic mode and set up a whole hospital bed for it, complete with a heated rice sack, bathroom hand towels and plenty of dug-up earthworms from the back yard. (yay) But guess what, the bird didn’t die and it’s THRIVING. We’ve had it since Monday evening and it’s like, tripled in size. I’ll get a photo of it! Hold on. One sec. Let me get a photo – give me one moment.

Look at this thing! I named her Margot Robbie (since she’s a Robin) but Nat renamed her Twinkle. Hmmm. Okay. The kids are enamored. Aaron’s fascinated. You’re eyeing that birdcage behind her right now and I’m saying BITE YOUR TONGUE. She’s flying today. Today or tomorrow. I’ll admit that it’s been a captivating experience to watch a tiny creature go from death’s door to complete trust and comfort in giant humans. It’s been a trip. But this weekend, she flys. (also do we think she’ll live in our backyard for the rest of time?)

I did post a garlicky white bean dip on Tuesday that you for sure need this weekend. Great for a crowd, if you’re having people over! And the video for it. Hope you love it!

Okay, bangs lightener – what chew gawt?