Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrruh duuuuuuuhaaaaaah.

Sound the alarms because it is the LAST DAY OF JANUARY, EVERYONE. (!!!) Why did this month last 467 weeks. Oh wait, I know.

Remember the blizzard we had? That was this month. Not three months ago. Not a year ago. Not an ancient yesterlore ago. THIS MONTH. I’ve already turned the calendar page though. Is that back luck? This morning I definitely gave Jan the bird and flipped the dang page and it felt goooooood.

Go flip your calendar page now. Something will happen to your soul.

Go on, I give you permission.

. . . See?! We are new.

You guys.

Speaking of the blizzard, remember when we got our new fridge on the last day of the year last year? (that was a weird sentence) Right. Well this is the deal: the company couldn’t haul it away or unbox the new one. Which is fine. We can totally do it.

But.

On January 1st, we unboxed it (and yes the huge-ass box is STILL in the basement and I’m about to admit myself to the loony bin) and moved it in ourselves. Did a fantastic job, too. Minimal cursing and our marriage is still in tact. Even got the old broken fridge out to the garage and called it a day. Or I guess, a month. Because this is the thing. We had family visit immediately after, and the day we planned to haul the fridge away, the blizzard hit. And 15 inches of snow and ice fell. Putting the haul-away plan on hold. Which okay, that’s fine. I can roll! (sort of)

BUT.

BUT!!!!

Earlier this week, I looked out at the old jankidy fridge, willing it to disappear and leave us forever on its own, and I remembered something.

The LEFTOVER CHRISTMAS STRATA IS STILL IN IT. As in, the strata . . . that I made . . . on Christmas Day . . . Dec 25th . . . of last year . . . the leftovers . . ARE STILL IN IT.

Hahahahah! OMG. My strata is still in that old fridge! (don’t ask. Just do not ask.)

You guys I have not looked inside the dish. I’m waiting to look inside because I need your votes. How moldy will it be? Do you think the cold remotely . . . preserved it at all? (not to eat, good lord no) But like, will it be completely covered in mold or frozen solid?

I’ll open it later today!! I’m so excited. (<–needs friends) I’ll put it in Stories FOR SURE but this is your trigger warning now.

HOW MOLDY WILL IT BE? Cast your vote. I don’t think that’s a vote. More like an answer.

And DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE STRATA?

Of course you do!

Stay tuned.

omg.

Tell me if this has ever happened to you. (not the strata, something else.)

You get in your car with your child to go somewhere, and you forget that your phone’s bluetooth is attached to the car speakers. And you’ve been listening to basically the most disturbing murdery podcast ever, and the volume is up at a level that is alarming and very real. And the one line, the one line with the most awkward or gruesome details possible WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT blares through the speakers and straight in your child’s ears. Tell me this has happened to you.

How about this: Nat and I get in the car earlier this week and this . . . this line dances right into the air, “He had a fetish for wearing adult diapers.”

COME ON. COOOOME ON. The line immediately before that one? “Your hair looks nice today, ma’am.” Not really, but it could have been.

Which of course led me scrambling to get my hand up to the volume or pause button when I get this, “EWWW, WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO, MOM? WHAT IS A FETISH? ADULT DIAPERS? WHAT ON EAR–“

Yeah. And the thing is, the kid didn’t a fetish for wearing adult diapers. It was just a rumor! Yes it’s a kid. It’s a wild story.

Never mind.

Weekend plans?

We’re hauling the fridge away!! I might host a parade for this. It’s going to be stellar temps (well, 50s and 60s but I’ll take it), so it’s beyond time. The snow has melted and the winter apricity kisses, opening the gates for a new fridgeless life.

We have a couple of soccer games, a variety show practice, a mom hang and some windows to open. (and uh, Christmas lights to take down. Look, you listen but you don’t judge.)

From this week! I have two recipes that I’d love for you to peep. A creamy chicken and shells with pancetta that is to diiiiie for. And the video! Also we have a pistachio brittle. If making brittle has been a bucket list item for you, here it is! And the video of course. Git git.

Okay, just hooooooow moldy do we think this Christmas strata is? Omg.