Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreh! Dah! Flert!

Okay, what is turmeric soap?

Besides the words turmeric and soap back to back and it being soap made of turmeric.

What exactly is it good for? And have we been missing out on the fountain of youth this entire time? I saw this reel the other day and it wa- wait! I saved it! I texted it to myself to show you. One sec, let me grab it. Hold on.

This reel! Go watch that and let’s dissect every word because it got me hewk, lahn and sanker.

Mainly the turmeric soap. Also the lemon balm water because it’s an invasive turd in my garden, so I may as well be working it to my advantage. But – turmeric soap?! Tell me everything and will I turn orange?

My main issue is that it’s bar soap. While aesthetically pleasing, I find bar soap slippery, frustrating, and somewhat sticky. I’m all about that body wash/shower gel, baby.

Actually, is there is a difference between the two? Shower gel vs. body wash. Great, now I’ll think about this all day.

Never mind, tell me every single detail about turmeric soap.

I have had a life conundrum since the early ’90s and I need to finally talk about it.

To this day, I cannot decide. I cannot make a choice and live with it. I can’t. And I need to see where you land. If perhaps you’ve had these same struggles for 25 years. Maybe talking about it will help. We’re here for each other, no matter what. Here we go . . .

Do we prefer Dylan and Brenda, or Dylan and Kelly?

SEE? It’s so hard! Why is it so hard! While Brenda could make me a little crazy from time to time, I still couldn’t over a) her fantastic jeans and b) their adoration for each other. Dylan LOVED Brenda. Brenda LOVEDDDD Dylan. It was pure, messy, raw, vulnerable and perfect.

And then . . . comes . . . Kelly.

You guys, that breakup broke me.

BUT. I also really loved their sweetness once they settled into my bones. I think it was mainly the scene when Sophie B. Hawkins’ Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover was playing and he was putting sunscreen on her back in that tent thing. SOLD. Hello. You’re now my favorites.

I could never wrap my head (no pun) around Kelly’s bangs, but they did really really dig each other.

As I type all of this out, I’m leaning toward Brenda. She had grit, man. Kelly was sweet and cheery, but . . . I don’t know.

Don’t even get me started on Valerie.

No one ended up with anyone, right? How did it end? (taylor style)

Aaron just taught me about water towers.

He did, and I’m laughing so hard typing all of this out.

Water towers! I’ve never really wondered about water towers (besides the legends about kids swimming in them.) I randomly got curious two days ago about water towers. What’s in them (yes, water) and what they actually do.

DID YOU KNOW those towers are more about the water pressure? There’s something about them being way up in the sky that works with gravity or something. Clearly I absorbed what he said.

Never mind.

Maybe Kelly was better for Dylan all along.

Maybe neither of those girls needed Dylan.

This is the thing though.

I was smitten with Dylan. Waaaaay more than Brandon. At the time of my 90210 obsession, I happened to be dating a high school SENIOR while I was a SOPHOMORE. How my conservative parents allowed this I’ll never know. He was the captain of the swim team, had fantastic blond hair (often worn in a doo-rag because hi, 1991), sported the most brilliant sideburns, wore a tattered friendship bracelet around his ankle (swooooon), and drove a pale green vintage car the size of Montana. In short, it was the shit for a 15 year old girl.

He was very very Dylan McKay. Same swagger, same ‘tude, same hair (only lighter), same vibe.

So his choice of girlfriend on the show was vital to my life because it meant I was either playing the role of Brenda or Kelly. And while I had the blonde hair, I still liked Brenda’s sass more.

I AM GOING TO LIVE WITH THIS TURMOIL FOREVER.

Glad we had that talk.

Weekend plans?

Will’s been in an improv camp all week, so we’re going to watch his big final performance tonight! You know I’ll get some vid. Tomorrow night I’m hosting a little summer soiré with my momosphere. Started The Swan Song so I plan to devoouuuuuur that this weekend. Oh, Elin. Don’t leave us. (excited for her mother-daughter books to come!)

That’s about it for me! Estate sales and Trader Joe’s today. I swear I’ll attempt shooting recipes next week. Maybe?

Okay: Kelly or Brenda? We must discuss.