Friday Flotsam

Frrrrrrrrrrrrr! i d a y . . .

Things things things!

Do you ever say that to your friends? I do. When it’s catchup time I feel like I say one of two things. Actually three things.

One is: “Tell me something good.” I say that a lot.

And also, “Tell me things!” I say that the most.

And the last is, “Things things things!” As in, so much to discuss! (which normally boils down to any and all Swelce content possible to digest and dissect. My mom group text thread is out of CONTROL and we don’t care.)

What is your knee-jerk opener when it’s catchup time?

You’re like, “Girl you are hard-pressed for content, aren’t you?”

What I’m trying to say is, I can’t stop watching puppy spa videos.

You guys, I waste so much time watching those damn videos. It’s the ASMR that gets me! And their little closed eyes! And fluffy fur! And the widdle biddle paws that get gelled, my word.

I watched one yesterday that was a full two minutes long and I nearly fell asleep watching. Why can’t that be me in that pup’s place? I feel like those setups with the sprinkler thingy and the arch thingy over the head and the mist thingy and all those gel thingies and the little finger things with the gentle spiky things and the feather things and the head claw thingy should be easily found on Amazon. But in human sized. I need that setup.

Also have you seen this video? I made my mom friends promise to try it (and record it for you!? DARE ME. I DARE YOU TO DARE ME.) at our next Mom Night. Omg can you imagine.

Okay, for my Swifties: a brand is sending me a Tortured Poets Department (!!!) SWEATSHIRT so you know I’ll be doing an emergency discount on Instagram immediately. The moment it arrives, I swear I’ll get it up.

Also I keep calling the album The Tortured Dead Poets Society Department. I cannot get it right in my head. That takes some noggin’ work, Taylor!

What do we feel like this album is going to be like? My prediction is Folklore meets Midnights. Some dreamy bops intermixed with sullen and introspective. Basically I think it’s going to destroy us so good. I’ve already apologized to Aaron more than thrice for the person I will become on April 19th.

I wonder if Tay’s a Mary Oliver fan. Surely. Without an absolute doubt.

Look at this year already!

Ugh.

My m is stuck.

It’s driving e insane. Does anyone know to unstick an ? An M? Do I need a spray with air in it? What’s the best way to get this to unstick? This M to unstick?

Help e.

Weekend plans?

DARE I EVEN ASK. Tonight is the FROG dance at school (dads and daughters, ’80s style!) so Nat and Aaron will do that while I hang with moms and sons. Basically wine (for us) and video games (for the . theM.) Can’t hate it. We have a soccer game, some Valentines to whip up, and there’s this little thing happening on Sunday. Not sure if you’ve heard. I’m nervous to even ask who you’re rooting for.

I’ not gonna do it. Not happening.

FROM THIS WEEK::: Your February ixtape! It’s deliciously vibey. Trust it. And also we have some Chicken Sausage Tacos that are criminally good. Here’s the video for it. The simple factor is outrageous. Make her happen.

Okay here goes….tell e who you’re rooting for! And also how to get this m unstuck.

Things things things!