Friday Flotsam

Fr- 2 4 6 8 who do we apprecia  -IDAY. (<–that didn’t work.)

Okay, girls.

WHERE MY LADIES AT.

WHERE MY BOOS BE.

WHERE MY BAES STAY.

This is already incredibly uncomfortable.

Who here uses Poshmark? And also, what is Poshmark?

Is it like ebay? Because it seems weird, but I just might be old and jowly and out of touch. All the photos seem fake. Are they fake? And all the comments below each item are from like, 1986. What is happening here, Poshmark? WHAT ARE YOU?

It appears that you can buy and sell your fashions. Are you only buying someone else’s junk, or do brands have like, booths on it? (I’m just kidding about the booths thing I just said.) (I meant kiosk.)

Tell me about this Poshmark. I don’t trust you, POSH.

…MARK.

I ordered some rugs!

Not these. ^^ But aren’t those great? (river market antique, for you local rugites)

So I ordered two rugs from RugsUSA. Per your suggesh!

Except. I feel like they’ll never arrive. The word BACKORDER has quickly become my least favorite word in the English language. One rug, the main rug for our living room, which is a cream soft, jute rug and sooooo gorgeous, was supposed to be in stock on March 6th, but when I checked the site on March 6th, it changed and said “BACKORDERED UNTIL MARCH 21st.”

What!!

What is this crap! Is this normal for rug sites? Am I being scammed? I’m being scammed. Just like Poshmark.

So I wrote them in Instagram, and dude was like, “YO, it’s some winter storm slowing our ish down. You’ll have it long before the 21st. I think. Don’t quote me on that.”

He didn’t say it like that.

The other rug I ordered is a runner for our hallway, and G E T T H I S. It has color in it. Color! Who am I? I mean, it’s muted and subtle, but there’s a pattern in it and I think it will be super lovely in the foiYAY.

That one’s on BACKORDER until March 16th. Of 2076.

If you follow my IG Stories, you’re already totally sick of this rug saga. Ssssssssorry?

So wait, American Idol is back?

I thought it ended. (just like Poshmark will.)

I WATCHED THE SERIES FINALE. What was it, three years ago? Two years ago? Eight years ago? It ended! I remember it ENDING. The nostalgic montages, the guest appearances, the confetti, Ryan Seacrest’s wide face smile. I remember it CLOSING OUT. FOREVER.

What is happening in this life?

It’s back?

Why is it back?

Tell me more. I mean, I could google it, but you’re cuter.

This is something I think about.

And stay with me.

Once you start peeing, you’re peeing. There’s no stopping or pausing of the peeing, right?

WHAT IF, some crisis erupts whilst you’re peeing? YOU ARE STUCK THERE, GUYS.

“Hold on, burglar! Let me just finish up here, then I’ll freak out. Give me ooooone more second. Don’t take my TV!”

Or what if a fire starts in the kitchen or something? And you’re peeing. What do you DO? There’s no bodily function pause button for these situations!

And I’m not joking or making light of these scenarios. REALLY. I’m not. I just know that when I sit down and start peeing, and then I realize there’s no toilet paper, I’m stuck there. I can’t pause, go find some, then come back and sit down. It’s Stucksville. And it is a dark, dark place.

So then my brain spirals into a rabbit hole of horrible imaginary plots where my house is burning down and I’m just sitting there.

I think about this way more than any normal human being should.

I guess my question is, do you think Ryan Seacrest shops on Poshmark?

Weekend plans?

Besides wonder why Linked In still exists? WHY DOES IT STILL EXIST?

We’re going to have some nice(ish) weather this weekend, so I might try to step outside for about three seconds. And we’re going to tackle a fun living room wall project! So watch my Stories if you dig that sort of thing. It involves me begging Aaron to do something for me and him not being grumpy about it at all. Yay?

Poshmark.

More like, POSH MISSED THE MARK.

Ha! I told them.

. . . Never mind.