Red Quinoa with Mushrooms and Kale

In my 35 years as an eater, I have found that moaning, eye rolls, sobbing, shivering, losing vision, hearing and balance are usually reserved for foods that contain a gloriously sinful amount of cheese, cream, and carbs. Or chocolate.

Am I right? Are we on the same page here?

I’m about to change that for you. Right here. Right now.

ROLL BACK THE CURTAINS.

SOUND THE TRUMPETS.

PIMP YOUR BEST NEON SPANDEX.

(what is she even talking about, you guys?)

Red quinoa. Red quinoa with onions and butter. Red quinoa with onions, butter and cooked in a rich chicken stock. Red quinoa with onions, butter, cooked in a rich chicken stock along with sauteed silky mushrooms. Red quinoa with onions, butter, cooked in a rich chicken stock along with sauteed silky mushrooms and perfectly wilted kale.

Suuuure I threw a little butter into this health trifecta. But this step simply ensures a skip in its step. A wink in its eye. A little shirt-off-the-shoulder bit, IF YOU WILL.

When you make this, I ask that you wear waterproof mascara. And keep your phone on silent. You shan’t be interrupted.

Trust me.

Red Quinoa with Mushrooms and Kale:

This is my Amelie -style shot. I actually do love to stick my hands in grains. OH YOU DO TOO.

What it took for 2:

* 2 Tbs. butter, divided
* 1/2 medium white onion, cut into a fine dice
* 1 tsp fresh oregano
* 1 cup red quinoa
* 2 cups chicken stock
* 1 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
* 5 oz shiitake mushrooms, rinsed of any dirt and sliced (leave the smaller ones whole)
* 1/2 bunch kale, cut into 2-inch strips
* coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Heat 1 Tbs. butter in a medium saucepan. Add the onions and oregano; saute until onions soften, 5 minutes. Add the quinoa and toss to coat; toast 1 minute. Add the broth and simmer until quinoa has opened into little spirals, 15 to 20 minutes. The liquid should be mostly absorbed.

Heat the remaining Tbs of butter and the oil in a medium skillet. Add the mushrooms and saute 5 minutes, until starting to brown. Add the kale, a pinch of salt and pepper, and saute 2 more minutes, until the kale is slightly wilted.

Toss the quinoa with the mushrooms and kale.

Serve her up and inhale.