Friday Flotsam

FWIDAY. WHAT BWINGS US. TUGEVAAA. TODAAAY.

Look. I’m going to go ahead and address the tomato in the room. (name that show) I know it’s on everyone’s minds, I can sense it. But no one wants to be the one to ask the burning question. But I’ll ask. I’m not afraid.

WHERE IS NEW GIRL?

I know Zooey’s on maternity leave or whatever, but don’t you think they would have some idea by now when the dang show can start back up!? I tried looking online but didn’t see a single thing the entire thirty seconds I looked. The absence of this show is totally throwing my whole fall TV show-watching artistry off kilter! It’s not good for my psyche.

I miss Schmidt.

Can we talk about toddler toys for a second? Specifically two-year old toys. Not that the toys are two years old, but rather the toddlers. Never mind.

I think my kids are growing out of their toys. I seriously need to purge this old ish and get some new things that are age appropriate! You know, like a BB gun and some big league chew.

Problem is, I’m (painfully) picky about the toys I get them. I don’t do baby dolls, nothing bright and blinky and terrifying, but I also want them stimulated and learning, you know!? My sister thinks that if I don’t allow a tiny bit of neon and fluff, that they could possibly be hindered in life. And I’m like, “YOUR FACE WILL BE HINDERED BY MY FIST.” And then she was all, “YOUR FACE ALREADY BROKE WHEN YOU WERE BORN, KONKY HEAD.”

And then I was like, “MOOOOOOOOOM. SHE STARTED IT.”

I think what I’m trying to say is, have you ever tried one of those powdered manicures?

^^^ Oh this old thing? Just some ultra cheesy and ridiculously creamy potato soup I made for the Fewd Nayetwerk. I still have dreams about that mess.

Just go.

I’m thinking about posting some hair and makeup tutorials on Snapchat.Would you like that?

Don’t laugh! I’m totally serious.

Okay really, stop laughing.

Weekend plans?? Today I have NOTHING on my plate, which feels absolutely magnificent. My dear friend turns thirtysomething in a few days, so we’re partying tomorrow afternoon, with, get this- a room full of PUPPIES. Hahahaha! Like, that is what she wanted for her birthday. A room full of puppies. Well, that and a backstage pass to the zoo so she could pet all the animals, but that is a) kind of impossible, and b) she would get eaten. So puppies it is! You can bet your FACE I’ll be snapping like that what.

Also, that wood tray up there? ^^ going in the shop this weekend! ugh.

And lastly, this is my FIFTIETH Friday Flotsam! Can you believe that? I’d like to formally apologize for basically everything.