As in, QUICK quick. The quickest. Blink your eyes and boomsy. Done. Well I mean, it takes as long as it takes to jammy boil an egg. Which for me is like, a five minute egg. Plus the time it takes for the water to simmer. So ten? Ten-ish? Around nine? Something like eleven or […]
I done diddly do done lost my marbles. But FIRST, yes this is whack-a-doodle but we’ll get to it in a sec. Did you watch Idol last night? What did you think? Candice or Kree? What’s your vote? I’m leaning towards Candice, only because of that last performance, when she was all, “But he’ll never […]
I like to call this one the Edible Snuggie. Wait, Slanket? You know what, I know this is a tense subject for many, so to appease you all, let’s all it the Edible Snankuggletie. Because that rolls off the tongue sooo easily. But really, when you’re down and troubled, and you need some loving care? […]
You want to cradle them, don’t you? I’ll tell you what, my mouth cradled about 50 of them at one time like a bowling alley does with its pins. And you should know, I plan on making SENSE in my next life. Today it’s all about the back to schools. Not that mini cheeseburgers have […]
Slurp. Crunch. Chew. Pow. Zing. Faint. Repeat. That’s pretty much what we’re dealing with here, folks. A quadrafecta of bite by bite mouthal blowout. I discovered soba noodles a lawng time ago, in an old Domino magazine. Which BY THE WAY, am I crazy or did I hear it’s coming back? Like, only online? Or […]
Need dinner on the table in a pinch? Need dinner on the table in a cinch? Need dinner on the table in a lrinch? Oh, you don’t know what a lrinch is? Oh, wow! Well, it’s an….um….it’s this super……uuuh, they said it……well, it’s …. OH HEY LOOK OVER THERE! Weird, it’s gone now. I guess […]
The Great Vegetarian Challenge: Day 4 It’s Wednesday, and according to the official law of the land, mushrooms must be eaten today. If you don’t, officers in uniform will come to your house, arrest you with rusty handcuffs and escort you to the downtown courtroom, where you’ll be forced to wear a scarlet M. People […]
We’ve suffered through day two of the raging flu at my house. While subtle moans of what sound to be human agony resonate from the sofa, I’m constantly trying to keep the house decontaminated by hosing down the walls with sanitizer and attaching a tube from my husband’s mouth that leads out the back door. […]
Tonight I blew the dust off of my old Shania Twain dvd video collection. It was a gift. I was young. No judging. The reason I got it out is that I have to re-learn “I Feel Like a Woman” for my dear friend Ashlee’s karaoke birthday party this Friday night. And I’m talking dance […]
