I blame America’s Funniest Home Videos. It’s quite the hazardous show if I have any say in this. You see, I made a boo-boo. And I am a little grossed out that I just typed “boo-boo” and evenly amazed that I’m not backspacing over it. Anyway, I was on a MISSION. A MEAL PLANNING MISSION. […]
Come hither. Sit. Two unexpected yet irrevocably significant things happened to me a few days ago, and I feel it’s only right to tell you. It all happened so fast and at the time I wasn’t even sure of what was actually occurring. I’m still trying to process it all and come to an answer, […]
It’s a double feature today, folks! Step right up! We got goat cheese. We got herbs. We got lox and endive and chicken. We got mushrooms. We got soup. We got foil and ‘sparagus and lickin’. It’s like MY EVERY OWN CARNIVAL IN MY MIND. Wait a minute, this is all wrong. If I’m the […]
That’s RIGHT I did, yo. Okay seriously – “yo?” I swear, if there was a Nerd Jar on this internet blog website, I’d be BROKE AS A JOKE. <— see? help me. The true fact deal is, I haven’t been able to get the pizza version of these out of my head. Wait, are these […]
So do you want to know how cosmically and celestially connected I am to Mexican food and cheesy food and Mexican food with tortillas and cheese in it? I’ll tell you. When I was making these here chicken enchiladas on Monday night, I WASN’T EVEN THINKING ABOUT CINCO DE MAYO. I know! And then yesterday […]
I’m covered in dust. My armpits and nostrils are speckled with white latex paint. My hair has frog tape stuck in it. Every appliance I own is in my living room. Or in my back yard. Or in my front yard. Or in my hair under some frog tape. BUT! It’s taking shape and I’m […]
A little poem for you. . . The storm clouds are hoverin’. My coffee’s gone cold. My kitchen looks like a sink hole. I even spotted some bread mold. The husband has a birthday today. I’ll mow the lawns for him. He still has good hair, they say. He need notteth even a trim. Speaking […]
I’ve been on a mission, y’allins. A mission with high heels on. Just kidding. I’ve not worn high heels since I worked in a bank. Actually, I wore some cute brown chunky half heels with this cool strap to brunch this past weekend, but I guess that’s not rightly important right now. Let me start […]
Well skip to my Lordy Lou, they totally did it. Who did it? The Jayhawks. What did they do? They made it to the Final Four. How many times did you do the pee pee dance in front of a TV screen this weekend? 4,268. Why did you just say pee pee dance? I have […]
So I’m tweeting with Phillip Phillips’ girlfriend. Is this a new low for me? I prefer to think of it as a new awesome. I tried tweeting with Phillip himself, but when I noticed a line of cop cars in front of my house and snipers in my birch trees, I climbed down from my […]
