This is so easy it’s almost a frickin’ joke. Especially if you use a rice cooker like these lazy pants. (I’m pointing to myself right now. And I’m crinkling up my lips to show sass.) So this is what happens. Are you ready? Don’t look at the next two photos because I want to tell […]
Monday, Monday (ba daaaa, ba da da da), so good to meeee (ba daaaa, ba da da da). No worries, chimmy chums. I’m not going to ruin your life by butchering the lyrics to yet another song, in the pathetic attempt to somehow relate to the food, while simultaneously calming the traffic in my head. […]
Taste the rainbow? Wait, don’t sue me! Actually, let me try to come up with my own new colorful, healthy slogan, eh!? Okay, here goes: “Taste all that color, chach mcgrach.” Ehhh, boring. “It’s like eating crayons, but not as waxy.” Why do I kind of like that? “Because sweating in Hypercolor is sexy.” […]
Sometimes in life ya just gotta stuff things in other things. I think for us women it obviously started at a young age, when we dutifully learned to stuff our, ahem, bras. And then it was basically mayhem from there. If there is something to stuff, we’ll stuff it. Give me that purse. I WILL […]
Low carb, schmow schmarb. I’m done. I hold up my white flag. I throw in my towel. I SURRENDER ALL, Y’ALL. And I’m such a freaking baby because I went, what, two entire meals without out them? Sheesh. Okay real quick, I just scraped a piece of chocolate off my neck. A piece of chocolate. […]
Hearty summer grain salads are ALL THE RAGE RIGHT NOW. Could you tell I was using my best car salesman voice? Actually they would say, “GIT YER BULGUR SALAD BEFORE IT’S GONE GONE GONE.” Why do car sales people repeat words? “I’m sorry honey, I know we were in the middle of fertilizing the flower […]
I blame America’s Funniest Home Videos. It’s quite the hazardous show if I have any say in this. You see, I made a boo-boo. And I am a little grossed out that I just typed “boo-boo” and evenly amazed that I’m not backspacing over it. Anyway, I was on a MISSION. A MEAL PLANNING MISSION. […]
It’s a double feature today, folks! Step right up! We got goat cheese. We got herbs. We got lox and endive and chicken. We got mushrooms. We got soup. We got foil and ‘sparagus and lickin’. It’s like MY EVERY OWN CARNIVAL IN MY MIND. Wait a minute, this is all wrong. If I’m the […]
“She’s going out to eat some lentils. Who’s that girl, it’s Bev!”(lyrics have been changed to protect the innocent) Ugh. I can’t get it out of my head. See, I started watching New Girl from the beginning again because there are a bunch of episodes in the middle that I missed and I’m trying to […]
I gotsta one more salad fer ya! This one is super fresh, super vegetarian, super pretty and super FRESH. Like the fresh prince of Bel Air. THEY JUST DON’T MAKE TV LIKE THAT ANYMORE. I’m keeping this short because the cabinet guy is here finishing the SUPER FRESH trim on the cabinets. And he’s installing […]
