ANGELS WE HAVE HEAAAAAAAARD ON HIIIIIIIIGH. Okay so the world didn’t blow up. That’s good. I’m actually glad because last night Aaron and I went out to a nice dinner, and I have some major pimp leftovers in the fridge. I would have been peeeeeeeee-oooooooooh’d if any ashes got on them. This does however mean […]
FROOOOOSTY THE SNOWMAAAAN WAS A JOLLY HAPPY SOUUUUUUUUUUL. Well guess what, fah-reshy fresh. We got snow! Don’t ask me how much though because to me it’s all 17 feet. No matter how little or how much, 17 feet. Even the lightest dusting, 17 feet. “MY CAR IS COVERED IN 17 FEET OF SNOW I’M STUCK […]
HARK THE HEEERALD ANGELS SIIIIIING. I seriously just typed Harold. Hark the Harold angels sing. Hey, Harold, don’t you have some angel harking to tend to? How are those angels, Harold? Exhausted from all that harking? Hi, my name is Harold. This is my brother Angel, and this is my other brother Angel. (name that […]
Ooooooookay. I think I’m about halfway caught up with Parenthood, and it’s official. I want them to adopt me. I don’t even care which family. All of them. Joint custody. Except, as much as I want to stick Crosby in my bra, when he smiles, duuuude it’s intense! How many teeth does that guy have? […]
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAAAAY. I swear I’m not going to scream at you this entire post. BUT, we have one week left until Christmas and I’m sorry but the situation is getting mighty serious. All caps serious. First of all, where are you on your shopping? Like, on a scale from […]
So this is kind of funny . . . And yes, this is my FOURTH dessert post on my blog. What is even happening right now. Alert the authorities. So a couple of weeks ago we were exchanging Christmas wish lists with ze family, and my Father-in-law made this hilaaaarious suggestion of bringing down […]
Ummm, so I’m in New York City right now. I . . . have no idea. One moment I was staring at the wall scratching my armpits, and the next I’m in a cab in the middle of Manhattan on an impromptu trip with my home girl, Jessica. I’m sorry I called you home girl, […]
Oh, dudes. Is it okay if I call you dude? I know I’m almost 70 years old and it’s not exactly age appropriate, but the cyclone of my heart pump leads me down a path of juvenility unstoppable to even myself. I wish I could Brady-Bunch-opening-credit myself into the center of these photos and […]
IT’S THE MOST, WONDERFUL TIIIIME OF THE YEAAAAAAR. Freaking Christmas has taken over, you guys. Taken. Over. It’s in my eyes, ears, nose, hair follicles, skin pores, eyelashes, under my fingernails. It’s like, bad. I basically need to be punched. WITH THE KIDS JINGLE BELLING AND EVERYONE TELLING YOU BE OF GOOD CHEEEEEER. Hey, […]
Or as my soul beggeth, Chickeeeenwa burgers. And while we’re at it, don’t look too closely at my sweet potato fries. It’s hard to tell with the naked eye, but underneath all that Parenthood-(ahem)-induced, semi-burned crispy exterior, lie the soft, seasoned sweet potato fibers of Zion. But you don’t rightly care because you want to […]
