I guess I’m not a . . . total liar. After all, I guess it is possible to have too many bites of chewy on the inside, crusty on the outside pizza with melted, stringy mozzarella, or flaky biscuits with warm butter and jam . . . ugh, or freshly baked loaves of bread straight […]
Are you totally sick of seeing tomatoes and zucchini in EVERY SINGLE POST? Because I hear ya. But first we gotta talk about this salad. Omg. I didn’t rightly know what was going to unfold when I made this salad. Didn’t really have a plan or an agenda. All I knew at that moment in […]
Shooooooot, y’all. It’s double doozy doozer day. Oh my gosh do you remember the old show from 1986 on Nickelodeon called Double Dare?! Where the kids had to run through those cray obstacle courses and they’d get green slime dumped on them! And Marc Summers was the host?! I SOOO-OHOHOH-OH had a crush on Marc. […]
Don’t even think about turning on that oven! That was my super nauseating announcer-y voice, could you tell? Did you just get the urge to throw your laptop in front of a semi-truck and set yourself on fire? It worked! Speaking of fire, I just got my new glasses in yesterday and they are booooooss. […]
I don’t guess I need to go into detail about how loudly I screamed last night when you know who made it into the the Idol finale, do I? What about how ridiculously awesome I looked with imaginary pom poms cheering, “TWO FOUR SIX EIGHT WHO DO WE WANNA RUN AWAY WITH TO A REMOTE […]
I have a kitchen. A real life kitchen with lights and electricity. A real life kitchen with water and soap and hand lotion. A real life kitchen with a sink so large, Hugh Hefner himself would glow at the possibilities. A real life kitchen with drawers so soft and slick, I’ll no longer look like […]
I’m covered in dust. My armpits and nostrils are speckled with white latex paint. My hair has frog tape stuck in it. Every appliance I own is in my living room. Or in my back yard. Or in my front yard. Or in my hair under some frog tape. BUT! It’s taking shape and I’m […]
I gotsta one more salad fer ya! This one is super fresh, super vegetarian, super pretty and super FRESH. Like the fresh prince of Bel Air. THEY JUST DON’T MAKE TV LIKE THAT ANYMORE. I’m keeping this short because the cabinet guy is here finishing the SUPER FRESH trim on the cabinets. And he’s installing […]
A little poem for you. . . The storm clouds are hoverin’. My coffee’s gone cold. My kitchen looks like a sink hole. I even spotted some bread mold. The husband has a birthday today. I’ll mow the lawns for him. He still has good hair, they say. He need notteth even a trim. Speaking […]
What started out as a sinless, innocent puppy love back in my college years, hath quickly and destructively grown into a full-blown, no holds barred, unmanageable, MUST HAVE OR DAH, injurious addiction. Chipotle. I freaking love Chipotle. Like bawd. In our house, you can often hear things like this coming from our mouths. Me, “I’m […]
