I think I might stack all of the food from now on. That way I can say total douche-bucket things like, “Girl you are staaacked!,” when no one is around. Or when everyone is around. Ugh. Stacking is good for you though! It’s healthy stuff. It exercises your balance, your steady hand, your precision, your […]
You bettah believe it. Freaking purple! Well, purple during the making, and grayish in the results. But who cares? We can still call it purple. I had this idea a while back when I bought a bag of purple potatoes for this ridiculous bacon flag pizza I made, but I forgot about it once my […]
Oh hey guess what! There’s snow in the forecast! WAAAAAAAAAAH. Normally I’m a very chipper to the dipper kind of gal, full of giggles and grins, bustin’ a trick at every turn. But given our current weather situation with the potential of white fluffy buckets of malarky due to fall from the sky at any […]
Sometimes when I’m cooking and the food is in the pan or skillet or pot or whatever and it looks so lovely, all simmering with merriment and mirth, and then I transfer the food to a bowl or plate to serve, and somehow it transforms from a thing of beauty and wonder to a pile […]
Where there’s a shell, there’s a sway. You know like, once you realize there are shells involved in mouthal consumption activity, you sway that way? Like, towards the shells and away from say, regular pasta or a sandwich? You sway towards the shells? The shells in which you sway towards? The shell swaying? Oh! Let’s […]
How do you call your lover boy? You stuff a chicken pot pie in his calzone. That’s freaking how. I’m having a mild aneurism over this whole thing actually. And actually, I do realize that I overuse the word actually. I overuse a lot of words on this blawg that probably make you want to […]
If you ask me, there’s a rumble of mighty confusion among the lands. And by lands, I mean my noggin. You know what, I’m just going to ask you. I asked the Google, but it only led me down a path of befuddlement and flask shopping. What’s the stinkin’ difference between manicotti and cannelloni? They’re […]
HARK THE HEEERALD ANGELS SIIIIIING. I seriously just typed Harold. Hark the Harold angels sing. Hey, Harold, don’t you have some angel harking to tend to? How are those angels, Harold? Exhausted from all that harking? Hi, my name is Harold. This is my brother Angel, and this is my other brother Angel. (name that […]
Because super light chicken salad lettuce cups make total sense in December? Starting now, they do. Look, man, when the tidal wave of your soul current comes together with the nor’easter of your blood stream and it passes through the moon beam of your heart strings thus producing an internal hurricane of bloody frickin’ fervor […]
You know how they say we eat for our blood type? Well I’m pretty much convinced mine is A Pasta. Or wait. Maybe they say we SHOULD eat for our blood type. In that case I’m A Pasta Tacos Mushrooms Pizza Cheese Wine. But hold on. Now that I think about it, I think it’s […]
