Friday Flotsam

FFFFFFFFFFFFFeebers. Feebay. Freeders. Friday. Friyay?

daisies

Looking at these daisies I’m like, HUNNERT PERCEYENT plantin’ a giant daisy patch next spring.

You know how when someone sniffs a carton or tub of food, you can’t eat it after that? (changing subjects pretty fast here)

Like, you could buy cottage cheese that morning, fresh from the market, due date four and a half months away, but if someone takes it out of the fridge, removes the lid and sniffs the cheese, it’s just over. You can’t eat it.

What is it about the nose approaching the surface of the food that just wipes away all desire for food for the rest of eternity?

Or worse, when someone says, “Does this smell okay to you?” WELL NOW IT DOESN’T, YOU TURD. Because with every bite, you’re going to be like, “Is this okay to eat? The due date says December. Is it tasting weird? Do I feel okay? AM I GETTING SWINE FLU SYPHILIS RIGHT NOW???”

Like, I can’t take it when Aaron sniffs chicken. I understand that one HAS to sniff the chicken. To make sure one doesn’t die. But I can’t VIEW the sniffing. Or happen UPON the sniffing. Because then I can’t eat the chicken. Because it’s rotting, I’m sure of it.

But the hypocrisy of it all is that I SNIFF THE CHICKEN AND THE COTTAGE CHEESE. I’m a sniffer! We all are! We have to be! I just can’t see other human beings sniffing.

Did you leave?

market pears

I have another question.

You’re like, “Please just let me wake up first.”

You know how we get lumps in our throat when we emotional? We get a lump in our throat. And we specifically call it that – “lump in my throat.” What do you think that LOOKS like? Inside the throat where the so-called lump is. What IS that lump and what does it look like?

Okay I just asked the Goog, and it said something about globus sensation and the glottis (don’t like that word) contracting – but what does it look like?! I want to see these glottis contractions under an x-ray machine or microscope or via Superman.

ALSO, what do you think emotions look like? (don’t x out) The butterflies in our stomach when we’re nervous, the heartbreak of a love tragically falling apart, the giddy pants rush when something exciting is about to happen. WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE INSIDE OUR CHAMBERS?

I mean, I know it’s a chemical release in the brain that sends messages down to the heart and stomach, but I need to see it. Under the x-ray machine or microscope or via Superman. Does anything visible happen inside?

Maybe I just need a taco.

caffetteria spread

I have another question.

You’re like, “No.”

What smells remind you of your childhood? Is there any scent that you randomly get a whiff of and it takes you right back to the time you peed your pants in the Dillards in 1983? Anything like that?

This summer when we were in Oregon, I’d grabbed a little travel size Caress body wash and OHMYG it immediately transported me back to my Memaw and Papaw’s tiny light blue-tiled shower in their master bathroom in their Crossett, Arkansas home, mid ’80s through the early ’90s. Boom. But Memaw used the bar soap back then. I can’t remember when “body wash” became a thing. But she sure did use that soap and I had no idea I even knew that until I used it in Oregon. It was the most bizarre feeling. I smelled it, felt it, looked at the font on the bottle and was like, “OHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAH.”

Other things are Vaseline (not that it even has a scent, but it kind of does, you know?) and Pacquins hand cream (again, not that it even has a scent, but it kind of does, you know?) My mom has used those two products since I was the youngest Lassie with pig tails and no jowls. And to this DAY when I go to their house and open the kitchen (organized) junk drawer and see the two tiny tubs side by side, I put on Pacquins hand cream and say to Mom, “You still use this?” And she says, “Yep! Hand me the crossword, will ya?”

Tell me what scents remind you of childhood. I love knowing these weird things about people’s lives YES I’M A FREAK.

market okra

I’ve never read Little Women.

Can we even be friends? Can you even begin to find a place in your heart to accept this colossal life downfall?

BUT LISTEN. I’m going to this fall! Matter of fact – this weekend I’ll post recaps to IG Stories on Mrs. Everything and Summer of ’69 (oh, book club last night? FABULOUS. Thank you so much for coming!) and we’ll move on with our fall books. Let me tell you what’s to come:

Right now I’m reading The Floating Feldmans (just started, but I do like it)

After that – Ruth Ware’s newest Turn of the Key!

THEN Little Women.

I’ll also look at the master and let you know soon what else is in the HASHTAG BEVBOOKS pipeline because you know I change it up at an obnoxious pace.

What are you reading?

morning glories

Weekend plans?

WE. HAVE. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. (all the angels in heaven join in triumphant chorus and possibly a pillow fight)

Nothing! NOTHING. Aaron’s like, “And if you even fill it up…”

I’ll cook tonight, for sure. Buttermilk chicken with asparagus, sundried tomatoes and orzo. I’ll test it as a one-pan type of thing, and if it’s brilliant I’ll get it on the blog soon.

Other than that, just taking it as it comes, man. Yard work, reading, maybe a movie, a gal pal lunch date at the French Market, and watching my follower count rapidly plummet after having just admitted I’ve never read Little Women.

LE SIGH.

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22 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Dana September 13, 2019 at 7:49 am #
    That beautiful platter? Crudités and dip? My gosh, so gorgeous. Where is it from? Every time you post there are so many cool looking places to eat and drink near you. I think it would be so cool if you did a roundup of all the places you love in the area. Then when we’re doing college visits in your area, we won’t waste our time at any un-amazing places.
    • Bev Weidner September 13, 2019 at 10:18 am #
      Greaaat idea! This platter is from my book club last night. Caffetteria (local spot right next door to Golden and Pine) made it for the evening!
    • Carleen September 13, 2019 at 1:24 pm #
      You’re my favorite. Omg. Swine flu syphilis. I’m using that now. Okay? I’m much older than you but I love watching you and your book reviews because I love reading and your recipes are the best. I’ve lived in California my whole live and live in Hawaii part time so I enjoy watching how people garden in other states. Anyhoo. You’re so fun and just keep being you.
      • Becky K. September 13, 2019 at 7:01 pm #
        Only moms of 5 year old would wonder such things. I would know. I am one and wonder about the most random and weird things, because my kid brings them up. My childhood/grandma smell is Vick’s Vaporub. She would slather it on us kids before putting us to bed for only God knows why. We didn’t ask questions. That’s just what meant bedtime and sweet dreams at grandma’s house. I can’t smell it without thinking of her.
  2. Holly September 13, 2019 at 8:38 am #
    I just finished 'The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint' by Brady Udall, and loved it! Highly recommend. Also, I have always been a huge reader, but I've never read Little Women.
  3. Julie September 13, 2019 at 10:21 am #
    I just recently re-read Little Women and loved it even more than my first read in junior high (dating myself with THAT term). So, never too late but get it read. Random but my other favorite classic read years ago and probably 5 times since then is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. If you have not read that one you need to. Just finished Turn of the Key...it's really good and pretty intense. My nostalgic smells are Vick's Vapo Rub, any yeast bread baking, and Play-Doh. Love your Friday posts!
  4. Fran September 13, 2019 at 10:34 am #
    Jergens original scent hand cream. Still use it every single day!
  5. Lisa September 13, 2019 at 11:14 am #
    Finesse shampoo totally reminds me of middle school!
  6. Nicole September 13, 2019 at 11:34 am #
    Stuffed cabbage slow cooking in the oven. I catch the scent here and there and say, ‘Smells like grandma Rimar’s kitchen’ 🥰
  7. Toni September 13, 2019 at 12:01 pm #
    Whenever a street is being tarred I take a big old snort & I am 7 years old & back on Burtonwood AFB in Blackpool England...apparently there was coal mining going on then. Also, Jergens was the lotion we used when I was a kid & in case anyone wants to know, it doesn’t taste as good as it smells. There was a hand “lotio” that my great grandmother used that was a yellow liquid that smelled WONDERFUL! Would LOVE to find it.
  8. Dee September 13, 2019 at 12:05 pm #
    Two of my favorite and most nostalgic smells are from the same place; my friend's little cottage in upstate NY that we used to go to as kids. Flex shampoo, for washing our hair in the lake. And honeysuckle. Oh, and, closer to home, the smell of onion and sausage frying in butter on Thanksgiving morning from my Mom and Dad preparing the stuffing for the turkey.
    • Laura Lee September 13, 2019 at 1:19 pm #
      An aroma hard to come across now since they banned smoking in bars, but when I was younger and passed by a bar that had its door open memories of my childhood would waft to me on the breeze(a melange of stale smoke and beer). My Father was a bartender and we used to go visit and hang at PJ's Pub with him sometimes. I always enjoyed it because he died when I was 6 and it brought back good memories.
  9. Tracy September 13, 2019 at 5:24 pm #
    Hibiscus flowers and sunscreen (not the coconutty stuff - the plain old cream stuff), and yes, together or it doesn't work. Right back to my childhood summers at my grandparents cottage with sunburns and lake swims.
  10. Sydney September 14, 2019 at 7:37 am #
    This is going to sound odd but the smell of Diesel engines transports me back to 3rd grade. I lived in Japan at the time on an Air Force Base and there must have been a lot of trucks? Maybe the school buses? I don’t know! Ah the sweet smell of diesel!
  11. Anne Weber-Falk September 14, 2019 at 10:55 am #
    The smells when approaching a small lake. So earthy and floral and fresh. If there is a beach that Coppertone smell mingling with the lake smells is the best. Brings me right back to my grandmamama’s little lake house in Pell Lake, WI. The excitement when we opened the small metal shed, which also scared us because there was always a small wasp nest in there and we were sure they were gonna get us, to get the big old tire inner tubes. The hot smells from the metal shed and the lawn mower and the warm rubber inner tube smell. Thinking about it I’m there again! Thank you for that.
  12. Liz Summers September 14, 2019 at 1:51 pm #
    A kind of musty lavender … reminds me of my Grandmother Ruthie's house. I live in an older house in the woods of NW Montana. I use a lot of lavender products and sometimes … I can just sense her near me.
  13. Tracy September 14, 2019 at 4:11 pm #
    I've never read Little Women either! I'm starting The Floating Feldmans tomorrow. Crayons remind me of 1st grade at St Pius X in Omaha in Sr. Viola's class! Chicklets remind me of my grandma. She always had Chicklets in her purse for us!! :)
  14. Amanda September 14, 2019 at 8:36 pm #
    I'm actually not sure if I've read Little Women! I've watched the movie too many times to count but the book...I don't know! I may try to join you when you read it. I really want to read Summer of 69. I'm going to check out the others you mentioned too.
  15. AMC September 15, 2019 at 9:36 pm #
    Pine-sol takes me back to my childhood sooo fast! So fresh and clean. I use it to clean every Saturday morning!
  16. Jill September 16, 2019 at 10:40 am #
    The scent of Queen Anne's Lace immediately takes me back to childhood summers lying in fields of uncut grass watching cloud shapes transform into faces or creatures.
  17. Sue September 24, 2019 at 12:40 pm #
    I don't think this is what you're looking for but I know the distinct scent of Canadian Windsor from when I drank way too much of it at 16 years old. I probably almost died and, due to a massive hangover, had to avoid my parents for the entire next day. Awwwww sweet story, don't ya think?
  18. Jennifer Jones September 25, 2019 at 1:30 pm #
    The smell of the ocean when you can't see it yet but you are almost there and the smell that the heat in the house makes when you turn it on for the first time in the late Fall. Will always be my favorite and have looked forward to it every year my whole life.

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