Friday Flotsam

FFFFFFFFFFFslkdfjslkfjsldjfiday.

tulip trees

I have something to tell you.

And I’m not sure how you’ll take it, truthfully. I mean, it’s hefty. Scary. Big. It’s something I’ve kept hidden deep in the chambers of my soul cavity for nearly 20 years. Only a handful of close friends knew of this darkness within me. Them, and the handfuls of blank faces that passed me by. I wasn’t sure when I’d be ready to face you, and I didn’t realize the day was today. But I’m ready. I’m finally ready to look you in the eye with the truth about my past.

I worked at Gadzooks.

In the Northwest Arkansas mall. The Gadzooks in the mall, in the late ’90s. I worked there. I went inside the doors and spent hours and hours and willingly worked there. Hung hideous bathing suits on the silver metal rack walls, rearranged bedazzled low-rise denim and skater jackets under jet black ceilings and harsh fluorescent light, all the while rocking out to Garbage or Fat Boy Slim on the video monitors. I worked there inside the Gadzooks. On purpose.

And that’s not even the worst part.

You might need to sit down or refill your entire medicine cabinet for this.

oysters

THE GOAL WAS VICTORIA’S SECRET.

THAT WAS MY GOAL, YOU GUYS.

But wait. To be fair, the goal part wasn’t in the timeline of me working at Gadzooks. Me wanting (actually having the literal desire in my befuddled gut) to work at Victoria’s Secret was way before I worked at Gadzooks. Which I can’t decide if that’s a prison call, wanting to work at Victoria’s Secret in the 8th grade. What BUSINESS did an 8th grader have in a Victoria’s Secret? NONE.

BUT HOLD ON. Listen. In my defense, does anyone remember the old vibe of Victoria’s Secret? (you’re like, why would you think this of me?) In the early ’90s, the walls were this faded pink, and they played classical music in all the stores, and the staff wore black pant suits, like head-to-toe black. And they would sell these classical music CASSETTE TAPES at the cash register, right next to that floral room spray that would give you seizures at the hint of one squirt.

I remember thinking in the 8th grade, “Whoa this place is classy. Some day I’m going to work here and spend time in here on purpose and be one of these women in black pant suits with the blonde buns and I will sell these classical music cassette tapes to people.”

And then I forgot all about that dream.

And then look what happened to Victoria’s Secret. W t actual f happened to Victoria’s Secret? I could have saved it!

Just kidding, sick.

vine on a tree

Speaking of, I got back into tongue scraping and I’ve never felt cleaner.

(I know this is has been at the tip top of your cerebrum for months now.)

Do you tongue scrape? It’s AMAZING. I bought a copper one on Amazon recently and I forgot how completely addicting it is. Scrape scrape scrape. All that white gunk, right off! (be careful though, because I straight up sliced a bud off and it wasn’t cute.)

I DO want to know though, of you tongue scrapers (you’re like, please stop saying tongue scraping), just how FAR do you go back before gagging? It’s like a game for me. Breathe in, go back further. Gag, try again. Can you make it all the way back to the part of the tongue peak where the buds get super big and oval? Can you get way back there? If so, you’re my hero.

. . . you x’d out, didn’t you.

feet and green

Okay two things:

Three things:

A few things:

I finished A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty last night. LOVED. IT. TO. DEATH. I’ll be on Stories later today blabbing about it.

Also, I posted the next five books in Stories last night, but I’ll list them here in case you miss it. :::

Who Do You Love

The Grownup

The Wife Between Us

The Water Cure

Into the Water

Also ALSO, I’m totally listening to you guys, and adding books you suggest constantly. Dunchew worry, Daisy Jones and the Sixes is absolutely coming in the next round. That and – The Couple Next Door. I’m already nervous.

What else can I add for the next round?! You know I live for this.

kids on a bridge

Weekend plans?

HI, 70 degree temps all weekeeeeeeeeend! And I have to dress up like Cat Woman tonight for our school auction, so there’s that.

We’re getting out to get all the ferns and herbs and potted plants for out back on Saturday. I’m dying to pimp the pergola area with green and flowers and earth, oh my.

(Yes yes, the Pons discount code is coming next week!)

Okay tell me, did you work in the mall ever? Don’t you dare leave me in this dark world alone.

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21 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Randalynn Johnson April 5, 2019 at 8:25 am #
    Not the Mall...Goff Dairy...had to shower for 10 hours to get the smell off.
  2. Angela April 5, 2019 at 8:58 am #
    I had all those VS classical cassette tapes and finally sold them all (or ended up donating to GW) at a yard sale a couple of summers ago.
  3. Rebekah April 5, 2019 at 9:02 am #
    I worked at Bath and Body Works in the Fort Smith mall. Worst job I ever had. Talk about seizure-giving smells.
  4. Erin April 5, 2019 at 9:05 am #
    Read The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin! I could not put it down, absolutely LOVED it!!!
  5. Bee April 5, 2019 at 9:07 am #
    Bahaha Gadzooks. I freaking LOVED that place. There was a babydoll t-shirt there that had a cartoon angel on the front and a tiny little devil on the back that said something completely cringe-worthy like 'nice... but naughty' or something like that. I knew my very conservative parents would never buy it for me, so I talked my eighth grade boyfriend into getting it for my birthday. And then I wore it EVERYWHERE just imagining how rebellious and dangerous everyone who saw me must think that I was. I have no recollection of what became of it. My mom probably burned it. Also, I straight up lusted after my friends JNCOs to complete the outfit. Just go ahead and ban me from your blog now. Its ok. I understand. And I briefly worked at Yankee Candle. It was a total disaster. Apparently I don't have what it takes.
  6. Emily Hambrick April 5, 2019 at 9:39 am #
    I wasn't cool enough to shop at Gadzooks. My mom would take me straight to Foley's and that was that. LOL
    • Emily Hambrick April 5, 2019 at 9:55 am #
      If a mall store didn't smell like Mulberry, my mom would pass right by it.
  7. Maria April 5, 2019 at 10:17 am #
    Musicland and Wild Pair Shoes, early 90's. Mall bangs and hair bands!
  8. Joy Elkins April 5, 2019 at 11:15 am #
    Loved The Wife Between Us, Into the Water and The Couple Next Door! They were all soooooooooooooooo good! I am currently in book 2 of the Regan Harris series by Kelly Wood. They are graet cozy mysteries. You should check them out! https://www.amazon.com/Kelly-Wood/e/B01DMDT1GA?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1554480913&sr=8-1
  9. Lisa April 5, 2019 at 11:45 am #
    I worked at Express....... lol
  10. Nancy April 5, 2019 at 12:02 pm #
    Never even heard of Gadzooks :) But I worked at Express and spent all the money I made on clothes!
  11. Morgan April 5, 2019 at 1:24 pm #
    Oh man. Those swimsuits at Gadzooks were my favorite. I remember trying on a suit (at the NWA Mall!) that had a very ornate design on the front of the bottoms, and my mom was not having it. She told me that too much attention was being drawn there and it 'wasn't very becoming'.
  12. Deanna April 5, 2019 at 4:06 pm #
    The Great Alone has to go on the book club list. It was one of the best books I’ve read in ages. I couldn’t put it down which made for a super fun drive to the airport at 6 am the next morning, but worth it.
  13. Susan April 5, 2019 at 5:34 pm #
    YES to tongue scrapers. It grosses me out to think about not doing that every morning. My scraper is rubbery plastic though, not metal, and it's never blown a taste bud on me. I'm so excited about a Pons coupon, even though my originals are so broken in, so comfy and have that cool, loved look that I've been working so hard for since I got them in 2016.
  14. Angela April 5, 2019 at 6:09 pm #
    Hallmark. In the mid-90s. Nothing beats selling Christmas ornaments in July.
  15. Caryn April 5, 2019 at 8:15 pm #
    Cacique- it was the lower priced version of Victoria Secret and I was able to use my discount at the Limited. :) Elinor Oliphant is just fine is laugh out loud (you may have already read that one).
  16. Tif April 5, 2019 at 8:23 pm #
    Structure aka The Men’s Express. Also, The Children’s Place when I was in COLLEGE. Pre-my own children. Both only so I didn’t have to spend my whole check to buy their clothes to wear to work.
  17. Sarah April 5, 2019 at 9:29 pm #
    JCPenney was my first job, ever, back when they were still a big deal. Then I worked at GAP for a bit but hated it and went back to Penney’s. Then I left the mall bubble and became a waitress which is a whole different world (not dissimilar to the movie Waiting) those were the DAYS. I don’t remember Gadzook’s but it sounds similar to Buckle which is also gross. P.s. long time reader first time commenter, you always make me laugh!
  18. Sarah Jean April 6, 2019 at 4:51 am #
    Girl yes I worked at PAC SUN in Missouri! Because I had a board shorts moment that defies reason.
  19. Kristin April 6, 2019 at 7:48 am #
    Did I work in the mall?? I cleaned the freaking bathrooms and it was disgusting!! And I cleaned the seating areas our mall used to have. I think everyone should have to clean public bathrooms so they will not be gross slobs when they use them for the rest of their lives.
  20. Melissa April 6, 2019 at 2:58 pm #
    Embarrassed to say I was proud to work and wear the cheap clothes of Wetseal. Mallrats unite!

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