See this is why I can’t watch sports.
Mainly because 97% of the time, I have zero idea who’s on first and what’s on second and what match is this and why are they wearing fanny packs on their butts and where can I get one?
But mostly, because WHEN I watch, the team loses.
I didn’t watch the Chiefs AT ALL, ONE SINGLE SECOND, until Sunday night for five minutes. I get so stressed out! And INVESTED PRONTO (which is odd for someone who genuinely doesn’t care), and then I sweat, start screaming at all the inflated egos on the t.v., and stick a carb in my face.
I can’t watch sports. Just can’t. You can basically blame me for the Chiefs loss on Sunday night.
But! I can do this.
THIS. This is my game.
Not sure if you remember a few years ago when my mom gave me her Baked Chicken Squares recipe, and then I put it on this here internet website URL, and we all ate with glee. ‘Member?
WELL, I put a spin on it and made you the game day version! And when I say “game day” I mean bowling or ping pong, because I can’t watch sports. You now know this.
Crazy simple. You’ll boil a couple of chicken breasts. Then give them a good chop. Like super chop. Bonkers chop. Then violently throw them into a mixing bowl, and add (softened) cream cheese, a little bit of butter, the diced red onion, and Frank’s wing sauce!
And really, if you have another buffalo sauce that you dig, well first of all – TELL ME WHAT IT IS and I’ll do a side-by-side comparison in Stories, and secondly, use it! (But really, you must tell me about this other wing sauce. Show me the wing light.)
Theeeen, roll out the crescent dough, but leave two rolls stuck together, at their perforated seam thingy. And also! If you’re looking for an organic crescent roll (THIS IS NOT SPONSORED, I used this brand. Which makes me feel a smidge better about my place in this world.)
Evenly dollop the chicken mix among eight dough rectangles. Then gently pull up the tips to the center, pinch them together into little purses!
At least that’s what the kids call them. Buffalo chicken purses. I’ll call my therapist.
Cute, right? Then brush the tops with melted butter and sprinkle some cracker crumbs on top. I used Ritz, only because it’s been since the early ’90s that I’ve had good Ritz cracker, so on they went. (and my mom told me to use Ritz or else I’m grounded.)
Viola! About 25 minutes in the oven until the tops are puffed and golden brown.
And of course the cream cheese warms and softens even more, but without any oozing! That’s the beauty of cream cheese. It stays tucked and offers tang. Oh! Let’s start a band called Stays Tucked and Offers Tang.
None of those words were good.
Serve them with ranch or blue cheese dressing, and I DARE you to not try and eat six in one sitting.
You know what! You could even add finely minced celery to the mix, and blue cheese crumbles. Go crazy with this. I kept it simple because five year olds.
Don’t even try to get me to watch sports again. Can’t do it won’t do it.