FRIPPITY FROO. FRIDDILY DOO.
Guys I think I have to go to jury duty.
That dreaded bright yellow card landed itself in my mailbox the other day, and the moment I saw my full name in all caps on the front, my heartbeat immediately fell through my butt.
So I filled out the short questionnaire online, because they’ll come arrest me and throw me in a lion’s den if I don’t, but there was no place to say, “OKAY SO, when would this be exactly? I’m going out of town soon. And then again after that. And then again after that for an entire month. Sooooooyeaaaaaaahaboutthat.”
What am I going to do!?
This is the thing. I’m not opposed to jury duty. I watch a LOT of forensics and detective shows, and the whole thing is ultra fascinating to me. I actually think I would love it. B U T, not now. Not in April or June. I have a little time in May, JUDICIAL DISTRICT. Let’s chat then. Guys, what am I going to do!? You don’t get to pick which case you want, right? Or what time slot? Maybe I just won’t get picked. Surely they won’t pick me. I’m scrawny.
Don’t pick me!
Have any of you ever been? I know if I DO get picked, I can’t say a ding dang word, so don’t expect Friday Flotsam updates on Granny Fern who robbed a bank with her slimy gang of Bridge broads.
I’m seriously going to stress out about this until I know more. Do any of you know how long it takes to find out if you’re chosen? Maybe they’ll pick me in July! Or in the fall. Or next year. Or 2087.
Lennie Briscoe better be there or I’m OUT.
T.V. (!) (!!!)
Okay so PER YOUR SUGGESTIONS, I started Everything Sucks. I dig it! Mainly because 1996. You know.
I know it’s already cancelled (boo!), and I have two more episodes to go (boo!), and theeeen it’s WILD WILD COUNTRY, omg.
I know very little about this docu-series, but the entire universe is freaking out about it, so I’m in. Mainly for the color palate. ALL THAT RUST.
And theeeen I’ll swim up Schitt’s Creek. (<–haha! oh.) It SOUNDS very awkward/hicuppy/hilarious/Christopher Guest-ish to me, so of course I have to do it. Because Catherine O’Hara + Eugene Levy.
(Buffy’s been put on hold! Don’t delete me from your life. I’m just not feeling very sci-fi in my soul right now. Unless the case I get selected for jury duty has anything to do with hot vampires. THEN we’ll revisit. Maybe.)
So that’s the VIEWAGE TIMELINE. Anyone want to join in?
OH AND, I still want to watch Thirtysomething, but I can’t find where to stream it! It used to be on Hulu, and of course the moment my girlfriend and I nestled in to start it, it was gone! GONE.
Maybe my jury duty case is about its disappearance. I WILL FIND THE KILLER, YOU GUYS.
. . . What does one WEAR to jury duty?
Dark sunglasses and a scarf tied under my chin? Because I can do that.
Tell me your favorite tea! Preferably what you drink at night. Is it minty? Floral? Musky? Clovey?
I need a new nighttime tea.
Not to be confused with, I need to tee tee.
Well, I do. So never mind.
I mean tell me!
And tea me.
It’s going to be warm today (!), but then the arctic vortex of stupid blows its evil breath upon us tomorrow and Sunday and it’s cold and lame again. Which means gardening has been put ON HOLD AGAIN. It’s fine. I’m okay.
Maybe my case is about the disappearance of spring! I WILL FIND THE KILLER, YOU GUYS.
. . . Well now I need to tee tee.