CAN’T. FEEL. FACE.
What is it about pull apart bread that has every single human being rightly coming undone at the seams? Is it the bread? The cheese? The pulling? The apart?
Or all of the above?
WELLLLLLLL. I thought I’d give you lassies and lads something to gorge your life away on, especially if you’re peeping the basketball games this week.
SEE HOW I TAKE CARE OF YOU SPORTS LOVERS?
not sure why I yelled that.
And red onion!
But that sriracha gouda. It’s pure insanity. Just the riiiight amount of mouth pow, especially paired with the ham. And get the thick kind. The kind where it’s slabby, and you cut it into chunks. That kind.
That ham with the sriracha gouda? And the red onion? Trifecta mouthecta perfecta.
You’ll start by giving the onion and ham and good sauté. Matter of fact, sear that mother. Get some good color all over the ham. Little charring. This is good.
Then combine the ham/onion mixture with about two cups of the sriracha gouda in a large bowl. Mix her up. This is also good.
Then take the bread and score it (but not all the way through!) in strips across the mound. Then turn it 45 degrees and score it the other way. Now take the cheesy ham mix and lightly press slash violently shove it down into each bread crevice.
Oh! We should start a band call Bread Crevice. No one likes us.
Get that mixture pushed down as much as you can, all in the bread. Then melt the butter and brush it over the top of the whole mound.
Remember the whole “this is good” thing I said earlier? See below.
Like, this does things to me. My soul is tortured. My spirit rejoices. My mouth waters. My tongue sobs.
Sprinkle chives over the bread, then lean down and fan in all the spicy cheese and ham and carb whiffs that you can possibly manage. The fanning happens approximately .46 seconds before the full-on ugly chow fest occurs.
Because once you unleash…
I rest my case.
What basketball game?