Friday Flotsam

Frah Deeeeeeeeedoooooder.

baby's breath

UM, something happened.

Something so big happened, and I’m coming undone at my ever-loving seams to tell someone. You. Anyone. Because I’m sick of talking to the voices in my head.

So, it was the other night. Saturday night. And you know what, I don’t think there was even a full MOON or anything, just a regular chilly evening. La dee frickin’ da.

Aaron and I were out on a casual date, nestled up to this dimly-lit, cozy French bar in our neighborhood. As a snack with our rosé, I ordered a single slice of cheese for myself. The cheese dude there is from France and knows eerrrrrrthang about fromage, so I had this dense, yet softish sheep’s milk slice. To myself. For my mouth. Right?

We’re just sittin’, chattin’, I’m nibblin’ the cheese like a giddy field mouse on crack, when out of NOWHERE…

Aaron reaches over, breaks off a small piece of cheese and puts it in his mouth.

???????????????????

????????????????????????????????????

I’m trying not to COMPLETELY FAINT because it was totally unprompted by me. I didn’t ask him to try the cheese. I know better. I didn’t beg him to, “Just taste it because I bet you’ll like it, I swear!” I’ve played that risky game before. Those dark, dark days are behind me.

So, I gently say to him, halfway blacking out and wanting to bawl a month of rivers, “What was that?”

Him, “It was good. I liked it.”

GUYS WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS WORLD?

Then he said, “I’ve told you before, if we were in Europe, I’d try the cheese. It would be different over there. I’d have to.”

………..Uhhh, okay?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS? I can’t get overly excited about this shift in our marital path, because I’m smarter than that. I can’t EXPECT this to happen again. Or ask him to talk about it. Or WISH for more bright moments like the one that fell out of the sky on Saturday night.

I need therapy. A group! A therapy group of people who struggle with the same darkness that I do.

The end.

pink booth

I have a weird question.

Not WEIRD weird, but like, life weird. Human behavior weird. Anyway.

I’ve been using an electric toothbrush since Christmas. You know, the kind that bzzzzzzzzzzes like a military bee on every tooth, and has a timer, and you let it work work work while you zone out to all that mouth buzzing. You know the kind.

MY PROBLEM IS, I can’t seem to quit brushing my teeth as if it was a regular toothbrush. I still move that brushy wand all around, up and down, up and down, as if it wasn’t buzzing. Aaron’s always like, “DUDE, you can keep it still and just move it over your teeth. You don’t have to be so Michael Myers about it.”

But I can’t just STAND THERE like a troll. I still have to move it. Do you move yours? Is it true that you just let it move across your teeth? Why do I feel like he’s full of bull honky poo? (WITH CAVITIES MIND YOU.)

I’m going to keep moving it.

What do you do?

You’re like, “I don’t brush my teeth.”

Just kidding, I know you do.

Wait, do you?

tiled ceiling

Remember in the ’90s (your ears just perked up I KNEW IT.) those friendship ankle bracelets? They were handmade, multi-colored hippie friendship bracelets, but you wore them on the ankle. In the summer. With your Gurkee rope sandals.

‘Member?

I think we should bring that back.

The ankle bracelet, not the rope sandals.

Don’t you?!

Hello?

…..he…hello?

oh.

kid art easter cookies

Would you BELIEVE I’m still reading The Woman in Cabin 10? UGH. I suck, I know.

I took an 88 month hiatus on it, but last night I dove back in, and nearly finished it! Twenty pages left. At a super intense part, too. I’m dying to tackle the rest later this morning on a road trip with a can of TJ’s frothed espresso.

BUT MY QUESTION IS, what should I read next?! I have a couple of work trips coming up next month that involve slightly lengthy plane rides, and you know I fly (hahahaha, oh.) through books when I’m on a PLANE AND ALONE. (snakes not included.)

Give me book ideas. You know my taste – I love a bit of fluff, some good wit, romance, maybe a murder, always a murder, topped with lust, regret, and more fluff.

Does Emily Giffin have anything new out? I used to really obsess over her back in my 30s.

Give me the book goods!

coffee date with husband

Weekend plans?

We’re about to hop in the car and head slightly south to Fayetteville for a long Easter weekend! Our THIRTEEN-YEAR wedding anniversary is Monday, so we’re going to hunt for eggs (not for our anniversary), see our best friends (not for our anniversary), shop for vintage jeans (not for our anniversary), and have a nice family dinner Sunday night (partially for our anniversary). I can’t waaaaait. I need a little road trip to even out my BUMMING-ON-THIS-BUZZ-KILL-COLD-WEATHER blues. You feel me.

Okay so you’re a hard no on the ankle bracelet, is that what I’m getting?

…hello?

 

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30 Responses to Friday Flotsam

  1. Angelina March 30, 2018 at 8:16 am #
    Funny you mention these ankle bracelets because I was just going to make matching ones for me and my daughter this weekend... haha. I think they will come back! Especially in pastel colors :) I'll make you one. For your anniversary ;)
  2. Amanda March 30, 2018 at 8:16 am #
    Things to do when it's raining is a great book! Oh and the Last Mrs. Parrish.
  3. Sharon March 30, 2018 at 8:28 am #
    ANY of the Jack Reacher books.....by Lee Child. I guarantee you will love them!
  4. Kelli March 30, 2018 at 8:32 am #
    After Reese Witherspoon raved about it on IG Stories I recently read The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo. I could not put it down & read it in like a day. I think you'd be into it.
  5. Emily March 30, 2018 at 10:05 am #
    The Break Down or Behind Closed Doors! Both are so good....by the same author but can't think of the name right now. Sorry! Have a great weekend!
  6. Taylor March 30, 2018 at 10:11 am #
    I recently finished All the Missing Girls, and The Perfect Stranger (both by Megan Miranda) and LOVED them!
  7. Catherine March 30, 2018 at 10:30 am #
    For murder-y thrillers: The Last Mrs. Parrish and The Woman in the Window. The Woman in the Window will make you want to watch ALL the noir movies. For banter and romance: The Hating Game. For general awesomeness: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine or The Jane Austen Project.
  8. Pam March 30, 2018 at 10:30 am #
    Check out Lie to Me (J.T. Ellison). Best thriller I've read in a while!
    • Christie March 30, 2018 at 11:52 am #
      Yessssss!!! Similar to Gone Girl - which I'm currently reading and then will proceed to watch the movie. Lie to Me was INCREDIBLE. Probably the best book I've ever read. They describe it as "a fast paced psychological thriller" and is it ever! I couldn't put the dang thing down!
  9. Lori S March 30, 2018 at 11:01 am #
    I think I just saw that Emily Giffin DOES have a new book either out already or coming out soon so you're in luck! have you read Jennifer Weiner? Similar style and very funny.
  10. Ashton March 30, 2018 at 11:09 am #
    I think you would enjoy Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. No murders but I promise you will be shocked, surprised and see yourself in Eleanor. Not because you are just like Eleanor but because we are all a little Eleanor.... oh gosh. Did this just get weird? 😂.
  11. Donna March 30, 2018 at 11:14 am #
    I like Goodreads.com when I need ideas for new books to read...the books are categorized too so if you want a mystery, search there, romance...etc. Hope it helps!
  12. Christi March 30, 2018 at 11:16 am #
    Almost done with this one, and I think it would check all the boxes for you. She's the same author who wrote The Nightingale, which is also AWESOME. https://www.amazon.com/Great-Alone-Novel-Kristin-Hannah/dp/0312577230/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522426465&sr=8-1&keywords=the+great+alone
  13. Karen B March 30, 2018 at 11:17 am #
    I love Louise Penny's Inspector Gamache series and i think you would too. The characters in the books are all people that you wish were real so that you could travel to Three Pines and meet them, even Ruth. All of the books are stand alone but better is you were to read in order. If you like mysteries, read these!
  14. Sil March 30, 2018 at 11:40 am #
    I was moving my electric toothbrush up and down when I first got it too. Then I went in for my cleaning and was told that I was seriously tearing up my gums and I either needed to stop moving the electric toothbrush or stop using it and go back to a regular toothbrush. That made me stop moving the electric one immediately. Who knew? Have a great trip! Happy anniversary!
  15. Donna March 30, 2018 at 12:25 pm #
    Sadly, I move my toothbrush. My daughter saw me and raked me over the coals.
  16. Emily of The Three Bite Rule March 30, 2018 at 1:38 pm #
    Read "The Perfume Collector" by Kathleen Tesaro. It has it with 1950s London and 1920s Paris which will be so perfect with your neck scarfs! There's some seriously dark intrigue. You'll be captivated!
  17. Elizabeth P March 30, 2018 at 3:18 pm #
    Yes to bringing back ankle bracelets! I agree with the above Louise Penny suggestion. I love that series. I was also going to suggest Jessi Klein's latest book "You'll Grow Out of It". I love my electric toothbrush and have been using one for years. My suggestion for you is try transitioning to making large circles, it's less aggressive and still let's you move it around. Then you can eventually make the full switch. Hope the whole family has fun this weekend!
  18. Melissa March 30, 2018 at 3:19 pm #
    To echo what has already been said...my son uses an electric toothbrush and he was recently told at his cleaning to stop moving it. He has a hard time doing that too. It's just not the natural way to brush teeth...or he's just weird :) Probably both. Also, I am reading Before the Fall by Noah Hawley. So far it's really good.
  19. Sandy March 30, 2018 at 6:12 pm #
    I totally move the electric toothbrush (I almost typed "eclectic toothbrush") Yay, Fayettville! You should pop into Dickson Street Bookshop for a newish book. Always some fun find there.
  20. Turner March 30, 2018 at 8:08 pm #
    Yeah. It’s really hard not to move my electric toothbrush (Sonicare) but eventually I kind of got used to it. Great book suggestions everyone!
  21. Nancy March 30, 2018 at 10:50 pm #
    I've been reading the Bakeshop Mystery series by Ellie Alexander. Murder, romance, and DESSERT set in Ashland, Oregon. I have had my electric toothbrush for years and still move it around.
  22. Lauren March 31, 2018 at 1:00 am #
    My husband is also not about the cheese. We do live in Europe. He still isn’t trying it, and I’ve quit asking him too (but not quit wishing he would).
  23. Amy D. March 31, 2018 at 2:38 am #
    I’m reading The Rules of Magic by Alice Hoffman. It’s the prequel to Practical Magic (you know...Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman witch movie?!) It’s SO good! Part magic, part love story, part intense “wassa gonna happen?!” kind of novel. Great for a plane ride!
  24. Amanda April 2, 2018 at 12:39 pm #
    I am currently listening to The Chemist by Stephenie Meyer and am really surprised at how much I'm enjoying it. It's not my usual kind of read but it's intriguing. I also recently read The Serpent King (excellent) by Jeff Zentner, A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness, and I'm working my way through The Mortal Instruments as a reread.
  25. Sydney April 3, 2018 at 11:21 am #
    Ankle bracelets yes! I made some for my daughter last year or the year before...can't remember. It was fun. Martha Stewart...of course she does....has tutorials on how to make them because I totally forgot in my old age. So, yeah, do it. It's fun and relaxing while you sit on the couch watch Mystic Pizza.
  26. Jenny April 3, 2018 at 1:43 pm #
    AARON DOESN'T EAT CHEESE??????
  27. Hannah April 3, 2018 at 3:56 pm #
    You smacked me with nostalgia REAL hard with those ankle bracelets and now I want one and to be skinny and tan like I was in the 90s. Can you do ankle bracelets when you look like a marshmallow? Asking for a friend.
  28. Bridget April 3, 2018 at 7:54 pm #
    Anything by Anne Lamott- especially love her non fiction. Love your blog, and recipes, too. So much!
  29. Anonymous April 7, 2018 at 10:07 am #
    Just finished The Great Alone, such a good book!!

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